30 Teams, 30 Haikus

AL Central

Detroit Tigers
Miguel Cabrera
Is extremely good at first
but not MVP.

Kansas City Royals
Aoki fan here
Can't help thinking Wil Myers
Is a lot better.

Cleveland Indians
If they retained Choo
Last year could have been better.
Swisher not as good.

Chicago White Sox
I think Abreu
Could garner MVP votes
But this team is bad.

Minnesota Twins
Buxton is the hope
Miguel Sano is the dream
Last is reality.

AL East

Tampa Bay Rays
Friedman: best GM
Price is still on this great squad
Could win it all now.

Boston Red Sox
The defending champs
Might finish 3rd this season
And still make wild card.

New York Yankees
Masahiro is
A many-syllabled word
And a rich pitcher.

Toronto Blue Jays
Trade for Jeff, AA!
Nevermind those teams up there.
Trade for Jeff, AA!

Baltimore Orioles
Great bullpen last year.
They need great Gausman to make
A serious run.

AL West

Texas Rangers
My early fave team
To win the World Series with
Choo, Prince, Harrison.

Oakland Athletics
Billy Beane's the man
sadly, so is Jon Daniels
and he is loaded.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
Millville Meteor.
Best player since Barry Bonds.
Please, sign with the Cubs.

Seattle Mariners
Robinson Cano
will put this team on his back,
take them to 4th place.

Houston Astros
Traded for Fowler
That's a move I'm jealous of.
The rest, they can keep.

NL Central

St. Louis Cardinals
Must be nice to have 
one glaring need and Jhonny
just waiting to sign.

Cincinnati Reds
Homer Bailey was
The most likely free agent
Man, are the Cubs fucked.

Pittsburgh Pirates
Give me McCutchen
over anyone not named
Trout or Fernandez.

Milwaukee Brewers
Ryan Braun, please come here.
I need you to pee in this.
Don't worry, love Jews.

Chicago Cubs
Already looking
At who we are flipping in
June, 2015.

NL East

Atlanta Braves
I'm not so sure that
This isn't worst division

champion this year.

Washington Nationals
Great pitching staff, but
probably one superstar
from getting to top.

Philadelphia Phillies
Man, AJ Burnett
That was a slap in the face

Thanks. Signed, the Central.

New York Mets
Granderson. Colon.
Do these moves make sense for Mets?
No. Of course they don't.

Florida Marlins
One player can't fit.
That's Saltalamacchia.
Should downsize last name.

NL West

Los Angeles Dodgers
Holy shit, this team rocks.
I wish we spent like they did
But we never will.

Arizona Diamondbacks
This season's bridesmaids
wanted Tanaka and got
Bronson Arroyo.

San Diego Padres
I like Josh Johnson
That's a flippable asset.
So is Chase Headley.

San Francisco Giants
Matt Cain needs to shove
And this team could go places.

Probably not, though.

Colorado Rockies
Hey, trade CarGo here!
You can have 2 top prospects
Not Baez/Bryant.

 

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