Bill Murray’s Video Resume for the Cubs Open TV Broadcast Position

There has been a lot of discussion on the intertubes in the last day about who can possibly replace Bob Brenly. Alvin has helpfully compiled a list of candidates from various sources and included his opinion of the probability that they are hired. You can go over to see his commentary if you want, but I'll just give you the list and his estimated likelihood of hiring:

Dave Campbell: 0%
Mark Grace: 0%
Todd Hollandsworth: 20%
Darrin Jackson: 20%
Eric Karros: 50%
Steve Lyons: 20%
Gary Matthews: 5%
Keith Moreland :0%
Steve Stone: 10%
Rick Sutcliffe: 30%
Kerry Wood: near 0%
So it seems that Alvin is 155% sure that someone from this list will be hired. And that is sad. Sad not only because Al is presumably a high school graduate without a basic grasp of math, but also because the best candidate isn't even on the list.  I don't know if he's even interested in it, but Tom Ricketts should do some recruiting. Of course, I refer to none other than:

Yes. Bill Fuckin' Murray. 

Something has to entertain us as the Cubs flail about on the field as all of their real talent plays out in Kane County next season.

I managed to find a clip of his work in 1987 when he filled in for Harry Caray after his stroke. You can't tell me this work isn't one billion times better than Todd Hollandsworth on his best day, so I submit this on behalf of Mr. Murray to the Cubs.

I don't think any further research or due diligence is even necessary. Hire. This. Man.

Note: This was not my original idea. I first saw it floated out on Twitter by @rightfieldsucks. However, I endorse this idea 100% and will do what I can to put the entire weight of the OV Corporation behind this effort. (Which pretty much just involves making this post. The OV Corporation needs more tax breaks so we can truly become job creators.)


About aisle424

I used to write lots of things about the Cubs. Now I sometimes write things about the Cubs.