Alvin’s open letter to Theo Epstein after a content editor gets through with it

The other day, Alvin Yellon satisfied many of us with a classic example of his stupidity. Like many, Ryno has had a lot of fun with this. Here here is (the rest of this is from Ryno).

Just for fun, I decided to look at Alvin’s open letter as an editor. All bits and hyperbole aside, I wanted to see exactly how much bullshit was in there.

Alvin’s original was 2,185 words, and I cut it to 275 without losing any of the context.

What’s funny is that the article was supposed to be an open letter to Epstein. The only thing directed at Epstein was a plea to build a winning team right now. He graciously told Epstein — who obviously would never have been able to concoct such a plan — that they key was to release a reliever and acquire mid-level talent.

The rest of it was a shot at the people who think building a strong farm system is the best plan for the team.

Just to sum up: Alvin needed 2,185 words to say the Cubs lost to the Mets, let us know that prospects are unlikely to meet expectations and tell Epstein to bring in mediocre players in order to win a World Series before he dies.

Here’s what I would have done if I were Alvin’s content editor:

The Cubs were leading the Mets 3-0 Sunday afternoon, looking to win their fourth consecutive game and move to nine games under .500. I started to wonder what the Cubs’ management would do if this team somehow sneaked into contention.

That thought was short lived, though, because the Cubs didn’t win Sunday and dropped to 11 games under .500. It appears that the Cubs will once again be sellers at the trading deadline, looking to move several key players like Scott Feldman and Matt Garza.

This particular loss prompted me to vent two thoughts:

1. Carlos Marmol needs to go. At some point, performances like his hurt the team and its future. Some have said a game like Sunday’s was “virtually meaningless,” but I think it is meaningful to sweep the Mets in New York for the first time in 22 years. That helps build a winning attitude and culture.

2. While following prospects is interesting, it’s important to remember that they are statistically likely to fail. We should all be excited by Jorge Soler, Javier Baez, Kris Bryant and others, but I don’t think the Cubs should expect them to be the core of a World Series contender. At some point, the Cubs need to acquire a few mid-level players to fill holes and then put some of those prospects around them to grow.

I know people who lived without seeing the Cubs in the World Series and I don’t want to be one of those people. I’ve followed this team for nearly 50 years and already experienced several disappointments at the hands of this team.

I’m tired of disappointments.

All I did was cut out anything that wasn’t an actual point or relevant support of a point. That said, the numbered list was basically irrelevant to the article.

Without adding any support, this is how I would have done Alvin’s article:

When the Cubs blew a 3-0 lead to the Mets 3-0 Sunday afternoon, a small wave of sorrow swept over me as I realized the Cubs will likely was once again wear the “Seller” label in July.

The loss dropped the Cubs to 11 games under .500, and it appears that the Cubs will once again be sellers at the trading deadline. They’ll try to entice a team to give up talented young players to acquire productive veterans like Scott Feldman and Matt Garza.

My opinion is that we shouldn’t mortgage the future on unproven prospects. Keep the Feldmans and Garzas of the team, fill a few holes with mid-level talent and then allow the cream to rise to the crop of the farm system.

I’ve followed this team for nearly 50 years. I know people who lived without seeing the Cubs in the World Series and I don’t want to be one of those people. I’ve already experienced several disappointments at the hands of this team.

I’m tired of disappointments.

That’s 171 words, down from 2,185. And it says the same fucking thing…without the tangents.

If his point was that the Cubs should at least field a team that can sneak into the playoffs — where history has shown that anything can happen — he failed miserably. That’s actually a fair point.

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