Daily Facepalm | 1.25.12

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International news

Yoenis Cespides is now an officially official resident of the Dominican Republic, clearing the biggest hurdle required for a MLB team to sign him.


Recent sketch I enjoyed

Courtesy of commenter Suburban Kid yesterday

When I was a child sequels were only inferior cynical cash-ins. I know not your emotional franchise investment. I'm just a caveman. I fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic make me want to get out of my BMW.. and run off into the hills, or wherever.. Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine, I wonder: "Did little demons get inside and type it?" I don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts. But there is one thing I do know – when a man like my client slips and falls on a sidewalk in front of a public library, then he is entitled to no less than two million in compensatory damages, and two million in punitive damages. Thank you.


Batting Order hand-wringing

MLB.com's Carrie Muskat answered fan questions in her latest mailbag column. I'm hoping that she doesn't have inside information in this case, because her guess at the lineup was

  • DeJesus
  • Barney
  • Castro
  • LaHair
  • Byrd
  • Soriano
  • Soto
  • Stewart

I wonder if Dale Sveum would be fired on the spot by Thoyer if he had Barney batting second and Geo batting behind Soriano.


Facepalm of the day

Fielder to the Tigers might top Zito, Adolfo, and Ryan Howard as the worst deal in MLB. For more, check out mb's post on Fielder's projection. I've long felt that Fielder is underrated because people can't look past his weight (there's a joke to be made here), but this is ridiculous.


Is there a Cubs game today?

No.


Punctutation spotlight, take two

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