Cubs Hire Sveum to Take Blame For Stuff

Dale Sveum is the new Cubs manager and people are already bitching about him.  

Booooo! He’s not Ryne Sandberg!

Booooo! He’s not Mike Maddux!

Booooo! He’s not Terry Francona!

Booooo! He’s not DeMarlo Hale! (OK, that is just from Hale’s mom.)

I don’t know much about Sveum.  I’m vaguely familiar on how to pronounce his name since I Wikidedia’d him and it says it’s pronounced “swaym.”  I also know he was the interim manager for the Brewers when this happened:

So I already know that a Dale Sveum-managed team is responsible for providing me one of the best moments I’ve ever had at Wrigley.  Seriously.  

Hopefully he’ll be there for a few more and then he can maybe enjoy the moment too.

For now, the expectations are a little high.  The giddy buzz from the Theo hire and the subsequent formation of the Superfriends has people sort of expecting that things will be all better now.  Sure, if you asked them what they expect from the team, most people will probably tell you that they dn’t expect much.  But that is when they use their brain to do the thinking.

Now we can look forward to being properly worked into a hopeful frenzy at the Cubs Convention. The non-stop blitz of Hope and Change coming from the Cubs marketing department that will make Obama’s Presidential Campaign seem like it was run by Debbie Downer will soon be running full steam ahead.

After all of that, people are going to start expecting wins on the field sooner rather than later.  There really isn’t much room for error.  If the Cubs finish .500, it wil be Sveum’s fault they didn’t get a few extra wins to push them into the playoffs. If they finish under .500, it will be Sveum’s fault that they didn’t at least improve on last year.  He really is in a no-win situation since it would take a miracle for this Cubs team to win anything significant enough to make people happy.

No managerial candidate was going to change the outcome of this season significantly, but Sveum doesn’t have a net to fall back on.  Sandberg had his years as a Hall of Fame second baseman in a Cubs uniform.  Mike Maddux had his brother, Greg’s years as a Hall of Fame pitcher in a Cubs uniform. Terry Francona has two World Series rings.

Sveum was passed over by the Brewers twice after he stopped their freefall in 2008 and got them into the playoffs where they actually won a game.  So he has a crappy roster and expectations that will all be out of whack.  God help him if Zambrano is actually on the roster because the press is already sharpening their Milton Bradley Poking Sticks just in case.

I don’t see how this could possibly go wrong. Good luck, buddy!


About aisle424

I used to write lots of things about the Cubs. Now I sometimes write things about the Cubs.