Daily Facepalm 2.27.2012 | Still No Games

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Bunting Brackets Busted

Tony Campana was beaten by Steve Clevenger. Not in a brutal nanosophobic assault, but in a bunting contest. You could easily take this news with dismay that the guy whose only hope of reaching base is for the ball to come to rest too far in front of the defenders was ousted in the first round of a don't-hit-the-ball-very-far competition, but I'm choosing to stay positive. The silver lining, if you want to see it, is that the Cubs are loaded with guys who excel at hitting the ball short distances. Tony Campana is just one great bunter on a team full of weak-ass grounders waiting to happen. The excitement rolls on throughout this week as the field of 64 excellent light hitters gets whittled down to one champion of sissy slap ball. 

Starlin Has Trust Issues

You've got to be careful, because there's a lot of bad people in this world.

That's Starlin's comment on the accusations of sexual assault levied against him in the offseason. He says he's learned one must be careful who one trusts. And by trusts, I think he means sleeps with anonymously. Yes, Starlin. One ought.

Dale Sveum Likes Starlin Castro

I should give thanks to Paul Sullivan and the rest of the Cub-focused mainstream sports media scribes for churning out lots of stories about the Cubs' hopes of potentially playing baseball someday. It's good to have something to read from someone interviewing the players who profess to play baseball, even if he does ruin his Castro/Sveum lovefest piece with a silly comment about Castro enduring the wrath of Mike Quade. I never saw Mike Quade's goshdarn wrath. I must have missed that, by golly, aw shucks. Still, it's good to know Castro and Sveum are getting along well. Sveum hopes to help the kid shore up his defense a bit.

Sveum recommended that Castro move in on ground balls to give him more time to throw. It seems odd to hear a major league shortstop take this as brilliant advice when the first thing any kid is taught the moment they first start taking grounders in kindergarten park-league is to charge the ball. A lot of times when people talk about fundamentals, we wonder what exactly is considered fundamental. Chances are, if you learned it in first grade. Or on The Baseball Bunch. Either way.

They should just start spring training with episodes of that show.

Do the Cubs have a game today?


Analysis Mish Recently Mocked

Phil Rogers breaks down the Matt Garza trade. Or Phil Rogers just breaks down. I don't know why he continued any further than the fact that the Cubs missed out on the Rays' catch of the year. We've circled the sun, and the Cubs are still Fuldless. Worst. Trade. Every.

Link about Movies I Recently Enjoyed

Joe Posnanski tweeted a link to this proposed viewing order of the Star Wars saga, especially helpful for introducing the series to Star Wars virgins (this term has the potential to be equal parts ironic and redundant). After just witnessing the 3-D debacle of Episode I, I have to agree with the machete proposal: IV, V, II, III, VI. Check it out. It's some compelling reasoning, even for folks like berselius who deny the existence of the prequels.