Obstructed View Merchandise: A Dream Come True UPDATED

Every 1.8 seconds, a child in the Chicagoland metropolitan area makes a wish—and not just any wish. A wish to see the Chicago Cubs play on the hallowed ground of Wrigley Field. For the lucky ones, that wish is granted without a second thought. But not every child has two parents with six-figure salaries.

Some children have bigger problems than deciding between club box infield or dugout box. Some children’s parents have to pay doctor’s fees instead of box office convenience fees. Some children have no parents to misguidedly lead them into the bleachers. For most of these kids, the wish of seeing a game in Wrigley Field is a long shot at best. All they can realistically hope for is to catch a few innings on the radio in the orphanage or in a hospital room in between operations.

Here at Obstructed View, our sight line might be blocked by the Wrigley Field I-beams. Our vision might be obscured by our own palms that cover our faces in disgust. But we will never turn a blind eye to the dreams of children whose hearts are set on cheering on the Chicago National League Ball Club.

These kids might not have the greatest family backgrounds. They may not have the best health. They may not even have hope. But as long as they have $10 in discretionary income, they have a friend in Obstructed View.

That’s because a portion of the proceeds of every sale of Obstructed View merchandise will go to the not-for-profit agency Ten-Dollar Dreams, an organization dedicated to making it possible for those who are less fortunate to see their wishes granted at a price they can afford.

How much would you pay for a bleacher ticket? $50? $60? $75? Dream on. Thanks in large part to Obstructed View’s best customers, these kids in need will realize their dream for a mere ten bucks. In the bleachers. Peanuts and Cracker Jack. Booing Soriano. It will all be real, thanks to Ten-Dollar Dreams—and thanks to you.

What do you have to do? Just spend money. Lots of it. Just follow the link to the OV Shop and start buying stuff. Get the Obstructed View sign on a mug. Order a onesie commemorating the Cubs’ recent World series championship. Show your friends your admiration mingled with loathing with the original Cubbie Facepalm T-shirt. The options are incalculable . . . unless you have way too much time on your hands.

But don’t order because the designs are awesome—they are. Don’t order because the frustration is to much to bear without a fashionable expression of anguish—it is. Order for the children.

UPDATE: Within .015 seconds of publishing this post, our lawyers received notice of a temporary restraining order forbidding us or Ten-Dollar Dreams from offering bleacher tickets for $10. We have been told that if sick, homeless, or orphaned children are found in attendance at the Wrigley Field bleachers without a valid receipt proving their tickets were purchased for no less than $40, they will be sent to a juvenile detention center without trial, and Obstructed View will be forced to surrender all sales revenue to BUTT (Bleacherites Upholding Ticket Trade). In view of these recent developments, all profits will now just go to us. In the end, it’s probably better that the children find another team to root for. They’ve been through enough. Be assured, though, that no matter what happens, no proceeds will ever go to the Ricketts family, the Chicago Cubs, or BUTT. Ever.

Please don’t let this unpleasantness stop you from spending. Perhaps you can find some consolation in knowing that the Obstructed View Android app is now available for download. It’s no less awesome than this blog. Get it now. And then buy a shirt and a tote bag.

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