Top. Men.

I don’t think anyone featuring as many as two functioning brain cells actually thought James Russell’s start would go well.  I’d be willing to bet that Russell himself probably told his family not to bother DVRing it.  Yet, somehow, some way, the Cubs managed to reveal their one true talent and let it shine for all to see as they showed they have no peer when it comes to consistently coming in under the lowest of expectations.  They are the limbo champions of baseball.

I can’t even go into too much detail because it makes my head hurt to rehash too much of the game, but I will say that when Jeff Samardzija is not the worst thing about your night, you did not have a stellar night.

The closest thing I can find to approximate what it was like to watch the Cubs game tonight is represented here:

But don’t worry Cubs fans, when this spot in the rotation comes around again, the Cubs will surely have a solution all ready to go.  I have looked into this matter and I have a source that assures me they have top men working on it right now.


About aisle424

I used to write lots of things about the Cubs. Now I sometimes write things about the Cubs.