Words of Wisdom
"I don't want any messages saying 'I'm holding my position.' We're not holding a goddamned thing. We're advancing constantly and we're not interested in holding anything except the enemy's balls. We're going to hold him by his balls and we're going to kick him in the ass; twist his balls and kick the living shit out of him all the time. Our plan of operation is to advance and keep on advancing. We're going to go through the enemy like shit through a tinhorn."
– George S. Patton
Cubs Starting Lineup
Dexter Fowler CF
Jason Heyward RF
Ben Zobrist 2B
Anthony Rizzo 1B
Kris Bryant 3B
Kyle Schwarber LF
Jorge Soler DH
Miguel Montero C
Addison Russell SS
Starting Pitcher: Reigning NL Cy Young Award Winner Jake Arrieta
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Situated Somewhere In California, Please Come Starting Lineup
Yunel Escobar 3B
Daniel Nava LF
Mike Trout CF
Albert Pujols DH
Kole Calhoun RF
CJ Cron 1B
Andrelton Simmons SS
Tony Perez C
Johnny Giavotella 2B
Starting Pitcher: Garrett Richards
How to Watch
TV: ABC-7, ESPN2, 9:05 PM CST
Radio: 670AM the Score
Things to Watch
1. Mike Trout is very, very awesome. It will be great to see Jake Arrieta face off against the best player of our generation in the first inning of the first game of this season.
2. The Cubs are trotting out a lineup with 3 FA signings to start the game (and Dexter waited so long it truly felt like he was coming from the Orioles or something). Adding your top third of the lineup to a 97-win team seems strong to me.
3. No one has any idea what Joe will do with the bullpen this year, but today it may not matter.
4. Garrett Richards doesn't have Jake Arrieta stuff, but he can dial it WAY up there. I expect good things from our fastball hitters.
5. It's the first game of the season. If you need another reason to watch, the Pizza Hut MILFS are thataway.
Will the Cubs Win (random.org number generator)*?
Yes
Randy's Record to date: 0-0
Comments
Randy is kind of a complicated dude.
GWQuote Reply
I think Kershaw might be pretty good.
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
GW,
He’s alright once you get to know him.
dmick89Quote Reply
ABC-7 jackets graciously provided by the costume designer of Tron.
umbraQuote Reply
I almost feel sorry for right-handed pitchers facing this lineup.
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
Cubs on pace to score more than 10 runs per game.
dmick89Quote Reply
Cubs on pace for 1500 strikeouts
umbraQuote Reply
Jake’s strategy of getting hitters to hit the ball hard at fielders has been working pretty well.
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
Would love to give Russell credot for a walk, but none of those balls were close.
MylesQuote Reply
Zobrist is having a bad day.
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
It’s ok, though. They gave Jake his run. If they lose, it’s on him.
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
BUST
PerkinsQuote Reply
Recalibrate? Nope, just gonna goose that one in there.
umbraQuote Reply
Whatever Arrieta did to earn the favor of the BABIP gods, it’s been worth it.
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
I love 0-2 walks.
dmick89Quote Reply
Soler!
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
Montero!
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
Good grief. This lineup.
Smokestack LightningQuote Reply
This has to be about 40 pitches this inning.
dmick89Quote Reply
I chose that quote for a reason.
MylesQuote Reply
I like this team.
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
Why couldn’t Zobrist do that when there were men on base?
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
Ugh.
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
TOOT———–>BLAN
Smokestack LightningQuote Reply
I’ve been out drinking Pliny the Elder with scientists who are even more socially awkward than I am. What did I miss?
berseliusQuote Reply
Sounds good to me too
berseliusQuote Reply
The announcers compared the Red Sox and Royals when talking about grinding out at-bats. Do these guys watch baseball?
dmick89Quote Reply
berselius,
The Cubs are good at sports, but Zobrist and Heyward are having kind of a crappy day.
PerkinsQuote Reply
That’s the Red Sox from a decade ago.
dmick89Quote Reply
Seeing them elevate Richards’s pitch count early reminds me of the 2008 team in the best possible way.
PerkinsQuote Reply
Perkins,
$230 million down the drain.
dmick89Quote Reply
Perkins,
I tuned in just in time to see the Zobrist TOOTBLAN. Apparently he’s a traditionalist.
berseliusQuote Reply
berselius,
He’s filling the void that Dance Fever’s retirement has left in our lives.
PerkinsQuote Reply
Jesus. Can we please stop comparing the Cubs and Royals offenses?
dmick89Quote Reply
Dance Fever (dying laughing)
dmick89Quote Reply
dmick89,
don’t tell me what to do
berseliusQuote Reply
I think Dallas Braden’s hair is probable cause in seven states
berseliusQuote Reply
Montero!
PerkinsQuote Reply
Again!
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
Woow
berseliusQuote Reply
Jake Arrieta’s personal catcher goes deep.
dmick89Quote Reply
MONTERO!
ceruleanQuote Reply
Russell is going to hit 20 home runs this year.
dmick89Quote Reply
This.
Smokestack LightningQuote Reply
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts! Monterrooooooooooooooooooo!!!
umbraQuote Reply
I hope the Cubs have a lot of four game series—they are going to run bullpens ragged.
ceruleanQuote Reply
cerulean,
Looking forward to the tail end of the Dbacks series. Though at least Greinke should give em a breather.
berseliusQuote Reply
berseliusQuote Reply
Arrieta could throw a Maddux if Joe lets him stay in.
PerkinsQuote Reply
Dexter having himself a ballgame.
I’m sure they’re happy for him in Baltimore.
Smokestack LightningQuote Reply
Heyward and Fowler back to back >>>
berseliusQuote Reply
Smokestack Lightning,
Next time I head back to the DC area, I need to cobble together a combined Arrieta/Fowler O’s jersey to wear around town (dying laughing).
berseliusQuote Reply
Perkins,
Seems like a good time to start reducing his workload a bit to me.
dmick89Quote Reply
berselius,
(dying laughing)
dmick89Quote Reply
By all means, please load the bases for Kris Bryant
berseliusQuote Reply
Come on, Kris.
dmick89Quote Reply
Quite the debut for Zobrist. Strikes out twice with a runner on third and less than two outs. GIDP and a TOOTBLAN. Yikes.
JonKneeVQuote Reply
Didn’t Maddux have a 63-pitch complete game? That would be nice. Arrieta is at 69 pitches, 50 strikes through 6. That’s a 103-pitch complete game, which is still awesome. If Arrieta goes 100 to 110 pitches a game, I don’t see him wearing down. Hell, I still contend that he didn’t wear down in the postseason—that was just some flukey Murphy’s law shit.
ceruleanQuote Reply
Damn, Schwarber got good wood on that ball
berseliusQuote Reply
Damn, Schwarbs.
Ah, well. The BABIP gods giveth and the BABIP gods taketh away. Blessed be the name of the BABIP gods.
Smokestack LightningQuote Reply
Do we really need God Bless America every game? I don’t remember that being a thing until after 9/11.
dmick89Quote Reply
There are few songs whiter than God Bless America.
ceruleanQuote Reply
Also, Andrelton SImmons is good at short stop.
berseliusQuote Reply
cerulean,
Country songs. All of them.
dmick89Quote Reply
dmick89,
No, we don’t. I find the tune alienating for all of the same reason that many find it comforting.
ceruleanQuote Reply
cerulean,
That sounds about right for Maddux. Pretty sure he had at least one sub-70 pitch CG.
He’s also the career leader in sub-100 pitch shutouts, which is why it’s The Maddux.
PerkinsQuote Reply
cerulean,
I mute or change the channel whenever it comes on. To the Cubs’ credit, they only occasionally do it at Wrigley Field.
PerkinsQuote Reply
So much for those blister worries
berseliusQuote Reply
Only on Sundays, IIRC, and at least it’s a song that seems to have been specifically written for Messmer’s wheelhouse
berseliusQuote Reply
berseliusQuote Reply
Holy balls, just saw the LADoLA vs SD score
berseliusQuote Reply
cerulean,
Even if we ignore how alienating it can be, I just don’t see how that song and baseball go together.
dmick89Quote Reply
berselius,
berseliusQuote Reply
the al central is worse than the american legion 65 and up tee ball league.
Jerome WaltonQuote Reply
It’s as American as apple pie, so I expect this to evolve to 7th inning squat cobbler in another 20 years.
berseliusQuote Reply
dmick89,
I think the answer is that they don’t, especially in this global age of baseball.
ceruleanQuote Reply
Makes it look so easy.
dmick89Quote Reply
Looks like Randy is off to a good start.
dmick89Quote Reply
We might need to use several different random number generators for this. Perhaps we should consider classifying each one as a hat.
berseliusQuote Reply
I like Randy, but did the Lord say that machines outta take the place of living? And what’s a substitute for bread and beans (I ain’t seen it)?
Do engines get rewarded for their steam?
umbraQuote Reply
Wow.
dmick89Quote Reply
Let’s make a run at the Dodgers-Padres score!
ceruleanQuote Reply
Gordo: too many strikeouts smh
berseliusQuote Reply
Angles
berseliusQuote Reply
berselius,
What an idiot. Probably wants them to be more like the Royals.
dmick89Quote Reply
Isn’t it nice to have announcers comtemplating the Cubs scoring 900?
ceruleanQuote Reply
#WeAreGood
umbraQuote Reply
Announcers talking about 20-run games for a team. Said it was done 9 times in 2001 and it was the last time the Cubs scored 20 in a game. I was thinking they did it twice that year for some reason. Pretty sure they beat the Dodgers 20-8 and for some reason I thought they did it in another game. I’ll have to look tomorrow.
dmick89Quote Reply
cerulean,
Yes, but they’re the same announcers acting as if the Cubs and Royals have comparable offenses.
dmick89Quote Reply
The Cubs saw 188 pitches today. That’s almost 21 pitches an inning, 4.27 per batter.
ceruleanQuote Reply
The current mop-up pitcher was the 2013 Cubs top player by bWAR
berseliusQuote Reply
dmick89,
Didn’t they score 23 against the Rockies that year? Maybe that was the late nineties.
ceruleanQuote Reply
That was a beautiful thing.
ceruleanQuote Reply
It was 26 against the Rockies in 1995, 20 against the Dodgers in 2001. I didn’t see any others.
ceruleanQuote Reply
dmick89,
They had a 15- and 16-run game in 2001 too.
ceruleanQuote Reply
New shit
http://obstructedview.net/cubs-9-anaheim-angels-of-disneyland-0-44/
berseliusQuote Reply