Today has been a rough day to be a Cubs fan. Everything got off to a bad start this morning as we awaited word on Andrew Cashner’s MRI results. But we can look to Cubs.com to point us to the light and make the best of a bad situation. Surely, Carrie Muskat will give us the hope for a happy ending that we all crave as Cubs fans.
The Cubs rotation took a double hit on Wednesday, when both Randy Wells and Andrew Cashner were sidelined with strains in their forearm and shoulder, respectively, and both are headed for the disabled list.
Wait… what? Cashner, sure, we were almost PREPARED to hear that about Cashner, but what the hell is this about Wells? Did he strain his arm lifting a bottle or something?
Wells has a strained right forearm, which he felt Tuesday, the day after his start, while Cashner has a mild strain in the back of his right rotator cuff. Both had MRIs, and the good news is that neither has structural damage in their arms.
Well that sounds bad, but not catastrophic. They’ll probabaly just be out for a couple of weeks. Better safe than sorry. Whew… I was starting to get concerned.
“We’re not going to put a time frame on any one of them because we’re going to be careful in April,” Cubs general manager Jim Hendry said Wednesday.
That doesn’t sound very reassuring.
They will not pick up a ball for at least two weeks, Hendry said, and they will be re-evaluated at that point.
Holy shit, they won’t even be touching a baseball until almost Easter? Somebody better tell me something uplifting soon or I may start Googling how to make a noose.
“It could’ve been a lot worse — I could’ve been out the rest of the year,” Cashner said. “It is what it is, and I’ll get strong and get back out there when I can.”
That is not uplifting! I need something along the lines of “if this were the playoffs, I’d probably stay in the rotation, but we’re just being cautious” and you give me “it is what it is”? Where is the roof access in my apartment building?
The Cubs don’t need another starter until Sunday in Milwaukee and are expected to call up right-hander Casey Coleman from Triple-A Iowa. They also will look at lefty James Russell as another option, and he could start on Tuesday in Houston.
Casey Coleman and James Russell…
“We’ll find a way to get through it,” Hendry said.
Three man rotation! Old school! Maybe we can get a XXXL uniform for Greg Maddux and get him back out there? On a completely unrelated note, how many Tylenols do you think is fatal?
Neither Wells nor Cashner felt any discomfort in Spring Training. Wells started on Monday and threw 99 pitches over six innings against the D-backs. He said he had some soreness in his forearm on Tuesday. There is nothing wrong with his elbow, Hendry said.
This may just be me, but jumping right to dismissing problems with the elbow seems a bit defensive to me. Of course, I’m used to seing pitchers go down early in the year with “strains” that are “nothing to worry about” and we don’t see them on the mound again until at least after the All-Star break. What if the Tylenols were washed down with a bottle of Jack?
“The MRI showed nothing structural, the ligament is fine, and I just have a strain in the forearm and the flexor there,” Wells said. “I’m just going to take some rest and time and come back stronger.”
Nothing structural. Just a strain. The thing is, a strain is a tear. A tear in the muscle. It is a mild tear, but it is a tear nonetheless. So it has to be somewhat structural, right? I’d be happy to be wrong about this, so someone please make me feel better about this in the comments. Maybe mix the Jack with some bleach?
Wells, who threw 194 1/3 innings last season, has been one of the most durable pitchers on the Cubs last season.
Well, get ready to pass that torch to someone else, son. Speaking of torches, I wonder if I have any kerosene laying around.
“It’s one of those freak things,” Wells said. “I’m not going to rush anything and make sure I’m completely healthy. When I come back and make my next start, I’m going to be 120 percent.”
120%? They’re going to make him bionic? Or is he going to be like the kid in the horrible movie, “Rookie of the Year” where his ligaments heal “too tight” and he can suddenly throw a bazillion miles per hour? I wonder if I watch that movie on a continuous loop if my brain would actually explode?
Cashner made his first Major League start on Tuesday and gave up one run on two hits, including a solo homer by Arizona’s Ryan Roberts, over 5 1/3 innings. He had gone to a three-ball count on two batters, including Willie Bloomquist, who drew a walk with one out in the sixth. Cashner said he felt the discomfort on the last two pitches to Bloomquist.
Why the hell is Willie Bloomquist involved in everything that went wrong for the Cubs in this series? Maybe murder suicide is the answer.
“We were counting on those guys, absolutely,” Cubs manager Mike Quade said. “Now we’re counting on them to get back as quick as they can and come back healthy.”
At a 120% right, Q? At least he’s trying to throw out some straws that I can grasp.
Quade remained optimistic.
I often wonder what color the sky is in Mike Quade’s world.
“In this day and age when you hear about people who get shut down for a year, this could be a lot worse,” Quade said. “I’m expecting three, four weeks and we’re back in action, and that’s a lot better than three or four months.
Um, Mike? I don’t know why you aren’t familiar with how the Cubs do things when discussing injuries to their key players, but they NEVER let on how bad it is right off the bat. Go ask Kerry. He’ll tell you how it works.
“It’s a long season, and those two guys will be back to help us.”
That poor bastard. I think he really believes that. Mike, do you want me to forward you the noose-tying how-to link when I find it?
It’s an emotional tear, Tim. Don’t worry. It just needs time to process.
AndCountingQuote Reply
[quote name=melissa]Do you have a source? If so, it’s not your opinion, it’s fact.[/quote]This sounds like a backhanded way of calling my opinion a rumor. Nice snark.
AndCountingQuote Reply
[quote name=AndCounting]This sounds like a backhanded way of calling my opinion a rumor. Nice snark.[/quote]
Sorry, I only come here to argue. I never have anything nice to say either.
melissaQuote Reply
The thought of James Russell in the rotation is a bigger optimism killer than twitter. Someone pass me the Jack & Bleach.
melissaQuote Reply
Henry Rowengartner FTW
BerseliusQuote Reply
FUNKY BUTTLOVIN’!
I’m glad you worked Gary Busey into this somehow.
uncle daveQuote Reply
I was (dying laughing) all the way through this. Excellent article, Tim.
mb21Quote Reply
Obviously, only one day into it it’s too early to hit the panic button. With everyone else in the division having injury problems as well, this is probably the “best” time for something like this to happen.
shadasrevengeQuote Reply
I’m also (dying laughing) at the ambulance. Great stuff all around.
AndCountingQuote Reply
[quote name=shadasrevenge]Obviously, only one day into it it’s too early to hit the panic button. With everyone else in the division having injury problems as well, this is probably the “best” time for something like this to happen.[/quote]I take solace in knowing this is not a team that was going to contend to begin with. This is the equivalent of watching the Mega Millions lottery results and finding out your first number is wrong. If Wells or Cashner were looking at an injury that would put them out for the year or longer, I’d be feeling much worse. Something that hurts the Cubs this season is just a few extra raindrops in the storm of suck.
AndCountingQuote Reply
[quote name=shadasrevenge]Obviously, only one day into it it’s too early to hit the panic button. With everyone else in the division having injury problems as well, this is probably the “best” time for something like this to happen.[/quote]Could be, but this was a roster that had to stay healthy to contend and they needed other teams to be unlucky or injured. The reality is that if they’re out only 3-4 weeks, this costs the Cubs no more than 1 win. That’s not a big deal. The bigger issue in my opinion is Cashner’s future health. A rotator cuff tear is NOT good.
mb21Quote Reply
We need to make a compendium of 2011 Cubs slogans.
See what happens
Storm of Suck
some third thing that I can’t remember.
BerseliusQuote Reply
[quote name=mb21]Could be, but this was a roster that had to stay healthy to contend and they needed other teams to be unlucky or injured. The reality is that if they’re out only 3-4 weeks, this costs the Cubs no more than 1 win. That’s not a big deal. [/quote]
I’ve already rationalized it this way too. Seeing Coleman’s FIP projection made me feel a little better too.
BerseliusQuote Reply
[quote name=AndCounting]I take solace in knowing this is not a team that was going to contend to begin with. This is the equivalent of watching the Mega Millions lottery results and finding out your first number is wrong. If Wells or Cashner were looking at an injury that would put them out for the year or longer, I’d be feeling much worse. Something that hurts the Cubs this season is just a few extra raindrops in the storm of suck.[/quote]
Excellent analogy. Let’s this hope this forestalls management from making another dumb Garza-type move to stay in contention. I feel like this would have been particularly likely to occur because attendance is probably going to be paltry.
Hector VillanuevaQuote Reply
I wonder if we should expect a waiver wire pickup of some castaway shat pitcher.
Rodrigo RamirezQuote Reply
I think that’s what they do, RR. It’s also possible they’re waiting to see how mcNutt performs tomorrow and then call him up. I wouldn’t be surprised, but I also don’t think that happens.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=Berselius]I’ve already rationalized it this way too. Seeing Coleman’s FIP projection made me feel a little better too.[/quote]The one thing I would add is that pitching injuries have a tendency to result in setbacks so it’s distinctly possible one or both are out for 6-8 weeks. It’s also possible Coleman’s projections are wildly optimistic and he’s really a 5.5 FIP pitcher. They could get another guy who is even worse at which point this is a significant hit to the team.
mb21Quote Reply
Red Sox losing again. If, and I think it’s a big if, the Red Sox had an advantage over the Yankees entering the season, it’s gone now.
mb21Quote Reply
My Obstructed View t-shirt is on its way. I plan to wear it everywhere.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=Hector Villanueva ]Excellent analogy. Let’s this hope this forestalls management from making another dumb Garza-type move to stay in contention. I feel like this would have been particularly likely to occur because attendance is probably going to be paltry.[/quote]
OK – I shouldn’t kill myself because it was already all shitty to begin with and might prevent further stupidity in a vain effort to make it slightly less shitty. Thanks, guys!
Aisle424Quote Reply
You never did come up with the sure fire way of ending it though. Jack with bleach, a couple hundred Tylenol, noose, apartment roof, fire. I’ve only survived that once.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=mb21]My Obstructed View t-shirt is on its way. I plan to wear it everywhere.[/quote]
I also got a hat. I wish we had come up with this before I bought my hat for the year on Opening Day.
Aisle424Quote Reply
[quote name=mb21]You never did come up with the sure fire way of ending it though. Jack with bleach, a couple hundred Tylenol, noose, apartment roof, fire. I’ve only survived that once.[/quote]
I figured watching Samardzija pitch again would do it.
Aisle424Quote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424]I also got a hat. I wish we had come up with this before I bought my hat for the year on Opening Day.[/quote]We can’t do anything right. (dying laughing)
I ordered the one shirt and I’m probably going to order another (the sign one, I love that).
I have too many hats as it is and the only one I ever wear is the home Cubs hat or this black Hawkeyes hat.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424]I figured watching Samardzija pitch again would do it.[/quote]Insanity isn’t the same thing as death.
What was the announced attendance today?
mb21Quote Reply
Since you guys are using Cafepress it’s basically print-as-ordered right? So there’s really no “while supplies last”?
Just wondering because I kind of want the Cub-facepalm shirt but don’t really have $$ to throw around at the moment.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
The Cubby Facepalm goes perfect on a hat. I’ll use it for special occasions. Like weddings and stuff.
Aisle424Quote Reply
32,272. Looked like it was half that from the TV.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=Rice Cube]Since you guys are using Cafepress it’s basically print-as-ordered right? So there’s really no “while supplies last”?
Just wondering because I kind of want the Cub-facepalm shirt but don’t really have $$ to throw around at the moment.[/quote]
If you don’t buy it right now, they might not be available later! Go out and buy them! Hurry! Before it’s too late! We have a waiting list!
/Wally’d
Aisle424Quote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424]The Cubby Facepalm goes perfect on a hat. I’ll use it for special occasions. Like weddings and stuff.[/quote]I got the t-shirt for any job interviews I may have in the future. I’m also buying one for the neighbor’s son for when he goes to prom.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424]If you don’t buy it right now, they might not be available later! Go out and buy them! Hurry! Before it’s too late! We have a waiting list!
/Wally’d[/quote]
As long as I don’t have to pay $10 for a $60 shirt.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
[quote name=mb21]32,272. Looked like it was half that from the TV.[/quote]
I have no idea why today was so much higher than the last two days. I can’t imagine this was the result of walk-ups after being over .500 for a few hours.
Aisle424Quote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424]If you don’t buy it right now, they might not be available later! Go out and buy them! Hurry! Before it’s too late! We have a waiting list!
/Wally’d[/quote](dying laughing)
to answer RC seriously, no, supplies will always last. Like forever.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=Rice Cube]As long as I don’t have to pay $10 for a $60 shirt.[/quote]
We would never do that to our best customers. Full price all the time!
Aisle424Quote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424]I have no idea why today was so much higher than the last two days. I can’t imagine this was the result of walk-ups after being over .500 for a few hours.[/quote]From what I saw on TV it was easily the smallest crowd of the season. Maybe they just didn’t show the one jam packed section of the ballpark.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424]If you don’t buy it right now, they might not be available later! Go out and buy them! Hurry! Before it’s too late! We have a waiting list!
/Wally’d[/quote]
Do I also have to buy 4 of the tote-bags with the football to get one of the shirts with the face-palm?
Hector VillanuevaQuote Reply
[quote name=Hector Villanueva ]Do I also have to buy 4 of the tote-bags with the football to get one of the shirts with the face-palm?[/quote]Who told you 4? It’s 8.
mb21Quote Reply
Those tote-bags make me laugh. if we sell one of those I’m going to be disappointed.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424]If you don’t buy it right now, they might not be available later! Go out and buy them! Hurry! Before it’s too late! We have a waiting list!
/Wally’d[/quote]Do I get a refund if you lower the price later? (dying laughing)
I’m thinking a coffee cup would be an amusing thing to have on my desk so I’ll probably go with that.
cwolfQuote Reply
I’d actually get that water bottle. My wife has one from her friend’s internet radio station and they’re really high-quality.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
[quote name=mb21]Those tote-bags make me laugh. if we sell one of those I’m going to be disappointed.[/quote]
I was thinking about one of those tote-bags as a Christmas gift. (dying laughing)
Aisle424Quote Reply
Speaking of Christmas gifts, this shop is really cool because I only have to go to one place this year to do all my shopping. It has something for everyone.
mb21Quote Reply
We should create a t-shirt with one of those images we used to hype the blog. Everyone will buy that.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=mb21]We should create a t-shirt with one of those images we used to hype the blog. Everyone will buy that.[/quote]
How about a Forest GIF shirt?
Hector VillanuevaQuote Reply
[quote name=mb21]We should create a t-shirt with one of those images we used to hype the blog. Everyone will buy that.[/quote]
I thought about that, but we used a lot of trademarked images and likenesses.
Aisle424Quote Reply
Damn. Boston is 0-5. That is wicked awful.
Aisle424Quote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424]Damn. Boston is 0-5. That is wicked awful.[/quote]
I see what you did there.
ZappBranniganQuote Reply
[quote name=mb21]32,272. Looked like it was half that from the TV.[/quote]There’s no way there were 15,000 people there. 10-12 thousand would be my best guess.
AndCountingQuote Reply
Suburban kidQuote Reply
[quote name=Rice Cube]I’d actually get that water bottle. My wife has one from her friend’s internet radio station and they’re really high-quality.[/quote]I’ve used Cafe Press in the past and while the shirt quality is fine, the printing is digital, so it will fade if you wash it a billion times like me.
I also ordered keepsake boxes with photos printed on the glass tops — while I was worried it wouldn’t be good enough, they are actually pretty nice and were appreciated by the female persons I gave them to.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
Slut
mb21Quote Reply
Tim, your order has also been shipped. I’m guessing you were logged in on the shared account we have and I got the email at the @obstructedview.net account.
mb21Quote Reply
I’m guessing we make the money orders out to Mr. MB21, c/o The Post Office
Also, did you know the most popular social networking site in Taiwan is called Wretch.cc? Everyone here needs to join.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
[quote name=Suburban Kid]I’m guessing we make the money orders out to Mr. MB21, c/o The Post Office
Also, did you know the most popular social networking site in Taiwan is called Wretch.cc? Everyone here needs to join.[/quote]
You can also pay in Travelers Checks, or in Deutchsmarks.
BerseliusQuote Reply
[quote name=Berselius]You can also pay in Travelers Checks, or in Deutchsmarks.[/quote]
No Schrute Bucks?
Aisle424Quote Reply
http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/matt-garzas-crazy-start/
MishQuote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424]No Schrute Bucks?[/quote]
The exchange rate is too high these days. That leprechaun genocide is really messing up the world economy.
BerseliusQuote Reply
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
Bewbs.
Mercurial OutfielderQuote Reply
Clearly this wasn’t funny.
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
[quote name=Jame Gumb]Clearly this wasn’t funny.[/quote]
BerseliusQuote Reply
[quote name=Jame Gumb]Clearly this wasn’t funny.[/quote]
Clearly. It was fucking hysterical.
Aisle424Quote Reply
has anyone else seen these?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neHgPKWY4Qg&feature=related
dylanjQuote Reply
[quote name=Berselius]
[/quote]
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfoAIXjDt9E&feature=related
dylanjQuote Reply
these are great
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14q8lkJVl1A&feature=related
dylanjQuote Reply
[quote name=dylanj]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfoAIXjDt9E&feature=related[/quote](dying laughing), I think I know that guy.
Mercurial OutfielderQuote Reply
I nominate Domingo Ayala and Chico Escuela as the inaugural members of the OV Blog HOF.
Mercurial OutfielderQuote Reply
Bubba BiscuitQuote Reply
the one where he shows how to play catch in front of a scout is hilarious
dylanjQuote Reply
Tectonic plates —–> hate Japan
MishQuote Reply
They really do, Mish. It’s like they have something against them.
mb21Quote Reply
They probably took offense to the entire nation being built in between them.
Aisle424Quote Reply
Good point.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=Mish]Tectonic plates —–> hate Japan[/quote]
I wonder if it’s from all those bombs SOMEBODY dropped on Japan recently.
/liberal
/mb21
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
I bet it’s revenge for Kosuke not saving face and returning to Japan.
MishQuote Reply
[quote name=Jame Gumb]I wonder if it’s from all those bombs SOMEBODY dropped on Japan recently.
/liberal
/mb21[/quote]Dude, I’m all out of bombs. The 2nd Amendment does guarantee my right to own them, right? I hope so because I still have several tanks in the back yard just in case the government tries something screwy with my land.
mb21Quote Reply
It would have helped if Fukudome saved face, but clearly this was Soriano’s fault.
mb21Quote Reply
New: http://obstructedview.net/chicago-cubs/articles/cant-lose-thursday-random-points-of-hopefulness.html
AndCountingQuote Reply
Your pain… It brings me joy!
Southside PhilQuote Reply