There Have Been Worse Ideas

In News And Rumors by aisle42462 Comments

It has been suggested on other parts of the interwebs by someone we’ll refer to as A. Yellon… no… that’s too obvious.  We’ll call him Alvin Y.  Anyway, he suggested that the Cubs need to think outside the box and just let Kerry Wood start as the 5th starter until either Cashner or Wells returns.  I swear I am not making this up.

Now, many people have been criticizing this as the worst idea that man has ever had and that is just not fair to Alvin.  I have taken the liberty of compiling a complete list of ideas that were worse than Alvin’s:

  1. Invading Russia in the winter
  2. Ishtar
  3. New Coke campaign
  4. Ordering a break-in at the Watergate
  5. Leaving Cheers to do movies
  6. Picking Sam Bowie ahead of Michael Jordan
  7. The Edsel
  8. Making Greedo shoot first
  9. The ideas mentioned here:

10. Buying the Cubs for $850 million when the stadium needs $500 million in repairs in a down economy.

That is all.

 


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  1. AndCounting

    Then I figured . . . when am I gonna make it back to Haiti?

    (dying laughing)
    (dying laughing)
    (dying laughing)

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  2. AndCounting

    [quote name=Horny Goat]“Baker? Jiminy Christmas!,” Quade said. “Just unbelievable swinging the bat.”[/quote]I love that Quade is always “daggum, sonuvagun, gee willikers,” but when Carlos Silva mouthed off he started launching F-bombs left and right.

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  3. Aisle424

    [quote name=AndCounting]Then I figured . . . when am I gonna make it back to Haiti?

    (dying laughing)
    (dying laughing)
    (dying laughing)[/quote]
    “Now that I have kids, I feel a lot better about having a gun in the house.”

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  4. Horny Goat

    great list, btw. I wouldn’t rate Ishtar that high, though. Bad film, yes, but in the grand scheme of things perhaps Watergate was a bigger blunder.

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  5. Aisle424

    [quote name=AndCounting]I love that Quade is always “daggum, sonuvagun, gee willikers,” but when Carlos Silva mouthed off he started launching F-bombs left and right.[/quote]
    He’ll be interesting when the shit starts going really bad. But maybe it won’t. It just might work.

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  6. Horny Goat

    [quote name=AndCounting]I love that Quade is always “daggum, sonuvagun, gee willikers,” but when Carlos Silva mouthed off he started launching F-bombs left and right.[/quote]
    He’s our Bobby Bowden.

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  7. Aisle424

    [quote name=Horny Goat]great list, btw. I wouldn’t rate Ishtar that high, though. Bad film, yes, but in the grand scheme of things perhaps Watergate was a bigger blunder.[/quote]
    They aren’t in any particular order.

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  8. Horny Goat

    although, with a jack nicholson grin like Quade has, I’m surprised he doesn’t drop the bombs on a regular basis.

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  9. AndCounting

    [quote name=Aisle424]He’ll be interesting when the shit starts going really bad. But maybe it won’t. It just might work.[/quote]All in all, no complaints so far. Well, I’ve got more complaints than hope. But it’s still fun to watch. This team just does what it has to do win, gosh darnit.

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  10. AndCounting

    I know Quade looks like a lot of weird-looking people, but I still don’t think there’s any better resemblance than how much he looks like Mumm-Ra:

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  11. Horny Goat

    [quote name=AndCounting]All in all, no complaints so far. Well, I’ve got more complaints than hope. But it’s still fun to watch. This team just does what it has to do win, gosh darnit.[/quote]
    Quade’s optimism is killing my pessimism.

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  12. AndCounting

    [quote name=Horny Goat]Quade’s optimism is killing my pessimism.[/quote]We need to get his ass on Twitter.
    (dying laughing)

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  13. Horny Goat

    [quote name=AndCounting]We need to get his ass on Twitter.
    (dying laughing)[/quote]
    we need to get Jack Nicholson on Twitter.

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  14. Jack Nicholson

    [quote name=Horny Goat]we need to get Jack Nicholson on Twitter.[/quote]I’d rather stick needles in my eyes.

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  15. Horny Goat

    Lou Piniella was asked if he was on Twitter last year or so… He said “I’m not much of a twitter or facebook guy.. I’m more a prime rib and baked potato guy” (dying laughing)

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  16. Horny Goat

    [quote name=Jack Nicholson]I’d rather stick needles in my eyes.[/quote]
    Everything would have been just fine, you know, if you hadn’t gotten drunk. I was… I… I just didn’t want you to think I was like one of your other girls.

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  17. AndCounting

    [quote name=mb21]I love this post. I’d probably put A. Yellon’s in the top 10 in my list.[/quote]In retrospect, I’d rather they remake Ishtar and set the movie in Wrigley Field with Kerry Wood reprising Dustin Hoffman’s role than see Kerry starting.

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  18. Aisle424

    [quote name=Hector Villanueva ]Slight nit. Hakeem Olajuwon went #1 overall in that NBA draft. Bowie #2 and Jordan #3.[/quote]
    This is the worst thing I’ve every done on this blog.

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  19. Aisle424

    [quote name=Hector Villanueva ]Slight nit. Hakeem Olajuwon went #1 overall in that NBA draft. Bowie #2 and Jordan #3.[/quote]
    Fixed it.

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  20. AndCounting

    [quote name=Aisle424]This is the worst thing I’ve every done on this blog.[/quote]You’ve been warned.

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  21. mb21

    [quote name=Aisle424]This is the worst thing I’ve every done on this blog.[/quote]And I’m the one that got fired? That’s bullshit.

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  22. Berselius

    11. Giving bonuses to executives for their exemplary safety record the same year that one of their wells caused the Gulf oil spill disaster.

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  23. Berselius

    [quote name=Hector Villanueva ]Slight nit. Hakeem Olajuwon went #1 overall in that NBA draft. Bowie #2 and Jordan #3.[/quote]It would be nice if you’d do something on this site other than nitpick.

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  24. Aisle424

    [quote name=mb21]And I’m the one that got fired? That’s bullshit.[/quote]
    There was a glitch in accounting, so you’re still getting paid.

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  25. Aisle424

    [quote name=Berselius]11. Giving bonuses to executives for their exemplary safety record the same year that one of their wells caused the Gulf oil spill disaster.[/quote]
    Don’t you like anything?

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  26. mb21

    [quote name=Aisle424]There was a glitch in accounting, so you’re still getting paid.[/quote]That’s good to hear because I was certain the check for the SUV was going to bounce. I’m relieved.

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  27. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=FullyKraeusened]I cant believe Fighting a Land War in Asia didn’t make the top 10[/quote]It’s inconceivable.

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  28. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=shawndgoldman]Shirley, you can’t be serious.[/quote]Yes, I am. And stop calling me Surely.

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  29. Rodrigo Ramirez

    “Obviously, I want to go seven or eight innings,” Zambrano said with a smile, “but the bullpen (has) to eat, too.”

    Zambrano truly a Cub. I’m not so sure Jim Hendry would agree with this.

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  30. Mercurial Outfielder

    Sullivan still spreading misinformation:

    For the average season ticket-buyer, eating a bunch of $80 tickets must taste like the Ricketts eating an $11.5 million salary.

    Fucking idiot. It’s amazing to me that this mouthbreathing asshat survived to adulthood.

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  31. Mercurial Outfielder

    More idiocy from the Bilbo:

    Speed usually comes from the middle infielders and outfielders, and only Castro could be a true base-running threat on this team, if he learns how to slide.

    Ignore a fact (Fukudome has decent speed), sew seeds of discontent about young Latino player. Classic Sullivan.

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  32. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]More idiocy from the Bilbo:

    Ignore a fact (Fukudome has decent speed), sew seeds of discontent about young Latino player. Classic Sullivan.[/quote]
    I was just reading “The Book” and the fact that Fukudome walks so much makes me a happy panda since he’s the regular leadoff guy…or so it seems anyway.

    Since Byrd doesn’t really fit “The Book” profile for the #3 hitter it still kind of baffles me, but I guess it’s a minor criticism.

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  33. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=Aisle424]Is that like “It just might work?”[/quote]Amusing…but wrong.

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  34. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Sullivan also says we could see Castro in the 3-hole this season.[/quote]
    I want him to stay in the #2 spot until he hits about 15 home runs.

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  35. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=Rice Cube]I was just reading “The Book” and the fact that Fukudome walks so much makes me a happy panda since he’s the regular leadoff guy…or so it seems anyway.

    Since Byrd doesn’t really fit “The Book” profile for the #3 hitter it still kind of baffles me, but I guess it’s a minor criticism.[/quote]
    The sooner Byrd evacuates the top half of the lineup, the better.

    I’ve definitely been guilty of undervaluing Fukudome. He’s not the superstar he was hyped as being, but he’s a solid player, and he’s probably the only Cub OF who shouldn’t be in a platoon.

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  36. Suburban kid

    Yeah. Byrd would be a good 7 hole hitter, and right now, Soriano could be good third.

    I hate posting on thE phone. Fuck it

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  37. bubblesdachimp

    Reed Johnson gets the start in RF tonight..

    Anyone else mildly intrigued on seeing baker play every day for a while

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  38. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=bubblesdachimp]Reed Johnson gets the start in RF tonight..

    Anyone else mildly intrigued on seeing baker play every day for a while[/quote]What’s the point of having Colvin here if Reed is going to get starts? Fucking Baldy McGrindy is not impressing me as manager so far.

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  39. bubblesdachimp

    Colvin aint exactly teraing it up and its against a Lefty.. I dont see the problem

    In other news

    Fail Whale ======> yankees

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  40. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=bubblesdachimp]Colvin aint exactly teraing it up and its against a Lefty.. I dont see the problem

    In other news

    Fail Whale ======> yankees[/quote]I think it’s silly. Colvin doesn’t have a drastic platoon split, and Reed is terrible. (dying laughing)

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  41. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=Rice Cube]Silva —-> Yankees

    Yankees displeased with Phil Hughes I guess.[/quote]WTF

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  42. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]WTF[/quote]
    The stuff I’ve been reading suggests that the Yankees are concerned with Hughes’ dropping velocity. I think that this signing is just a “we have money and let’s see what happens” signing rather than a desperation move though. My statement about Hughes was mostly facetious.

    I also agree with you re: Colvin and Reed Johnson. In fact I’d give Fukudome the start every now and then, but if they’re trying to win games, I guess Colvin would be the better choice against LHP.

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  43. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=Rice Cube]The stuff I’ve been reading suggests that the Yankees are concerned with Hughes’ dropping velocity. I think that this signing is just a “we have money and let’s see what happens” signing rather than a desperation move though. My statement about Hughes was mostly facetious.

    I also agree with you re: Colvin and Reed Johnson. In fact I’d give Fukudome the start every now and then, but if they’re trying to win games, I guess Colvin would be the better choice against LHP.[/quote]I still think there are probably better options than Silva. (dying laughing)

    I just don’t see the point in giving Reed a single start unless there’s an injury. The fact that it takes AB away from Colvin makes it even worse. I also have a sneaking suspicion that as things begin to go poorly this season, Quade will increasingly turn to his veterans and reed and Koyie will be play far more than they should.

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  44. Rice Cube

    The Silva signing is just a minor league deal. I think there’s a better chance the Yanks call up Mark Prior than Silva.

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  45. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=Rice Cube]The Silva signing is just a minor league deal. I think there’s a better chance the Yanks call up Mark Prior than Silva.[/quote]That makes more sense.

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  46. bubblesdachimp

    [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]I think it’s silly. Colvin doesn’t have a drastic platoon split, and Reed is terrible. (dying laughing)[/quote]

    Yea reed is fucking turrible

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