I don’t think anyone featuring as many as two functioning brain cells actually thought James Russell’s start would go well. I’d be willing to bet that Russell himself probably told his family not to bother DVRing it. Yet, somehow, some way, the Cubs managed to reveal their one true talent and let it shine for all to see as they showed they have no peer when it comes to consistently coming in under the lowest of expectations. They are the limbo champions of baseball.
I can’t even go into too much detail because it makes my head hurt to rehash too much of the game, but I will say that when Jeff Samardzija is not the worst thing about your night, you did not have a stellar night.
The closest thing I can find to approximate what it was like to watch the Cubs game tonight is represented here:
But don’t worry Cubs fans, when this spot in the rotation comes around again, the Cubs will surely have a solution all ready to go. I have looked into this matter and I have a source that assures me they have top men working on it right now.
Comments
Correct.
Mercurial OutfielderQuote Reply
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Correct.[/quote]
You, and I, don’t, often agree, but, in this, case,,,,,,c,o,r,r,e,c,t
Aisle424Quote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424]You, and I, don’t, often agree, but, in this, case,,,,,,c,o,r,r,e,c,t[/quote]You comma, I feel.
Mercurial OutfielderQuote Reply
That game was the worst thing every to happen to baseball.
AndCountingQuote Reply
[quote name=AndCounting]That game was the worst thing every to happen to baseball.[/quote]
Mercurial OutfielderQuote Reply
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]
[/quote]
(dying laughing)
(dying laughing)
(dying laughing)
Aisle424Quote Reply
[quote name=AndCounting]That game was the worst thing every to happen to baseball.[/quote]
Besides steroids.
/MSM’d
Aisle424Quote Reply
This is probably a series of posts from Chuck that we’d all do well to keep track of, as he’s usually spot-on when it comes to all things money & Cubs: http://ivychat.blogspot.com/2011/04/small-attendance-big-change.html
Mercurial OutfielderQuote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424]Besides steroids.
/MSM’d[/quote]If I were still an editor, I would ban you for just writing that word.
Mercurial OutfielderQuote Reply
I bet Al is already penning his missive about how putting Kerry Wood in couldn’t possibly have been worse, and they played so badly he might actually be somewhere in the vicinity of having a convoluted, and ill-conceived point.
Aisle424Quote Reply
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]This is probably a series of posts from Chuck that we’d all do well to keep track of, as he’s usually spot-on when it comes to all things money & Cubs: http://ivychat.blogspot.com/2011/04/small-attendance-big-change.html%5B/quote%5D
Agreed. I’m eagerly awaiting his next one.
Aisle424Quote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424]I bet Al is already penning his missive about how putting Kerry Wood in couldn’t possibly have been worse, and they played so badly he might actually be somewhere in the vicinity of having a convoluted, and ill-conceived point.[/quote]That depends if he’s been given the go-ahead from his master and commander, ol’ CK.
Mercurial OutfielderQuote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424]Agreed. I’m eagerly awaiting his next one.[/quote]
I mean… correct.
Aisle424Quote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424]Agreed. I’m eagerly awaiting his next one.[/quote]Yeah, I’m curious to see what he does with this. Admittedly I’m inclined to agree with his dismal outlook, but Chuck isn’t one to fudge the numbers. It’ll be interesting to see what he’s going to say.
Mercurial OutfielderQuote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424]Besides steroids.
/MSM’d[/quote]No way. The guys on Baseball Tonight stopped the highlights from tonight’s game to say, “You know what? Barry Bonds is the homerun king. If this is baseball with integrity, please bring back cheating.”
AndCountingQuote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424]I mean… correct.[/quote]You’ve been warned.
Mercurial OutfielderQuote Reply
[quote name=AndCounting]No way. The guys on Baseball Tonight stopped the highlights from tonight’s game to say, “You know what? Barry Bonds is the homerun king. If this is baseball with integrity, please bring back cheating.”[/quote]If this is a joke, (dying laughing) (dying laughing) (dying laughing) (dying laughing)
If it’s for real, I call bullshit.
Mercurial OutfielderQuote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424]I bet Al is already penning his missive about how putting Kerry Wood in couldn’t possibly have been worse, and they played so badly he might actually be somewhere in the vicinity of having a convoluted, and ill-conceived point.[/quote]I think Felix Hernandez could have thrown a complete-game 1-hitter for the Cubs and they still would have lost 8-1.
AndCountingQuote Reply
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]If this is a joke, (dying laughing) (dying laughing) (dying laughing) (dying laughing)
If it’s for real, I call bullshit.[/quote]Joke. I haven’t watched Baseball Tonight in quite awhile. I can feel myself getting dumber when it’s on my TV, and I’m not too bright to begin with.
AndCountingQuote Reply
since “two and half men” is/was so popular, perhaps that could provide fodder with the cubs roster in some way.
Horny GoatQuote Reply
[quote name=AndCounting]Joke. I haven’t watched Baseball Tonight in quite awhile. I can feel myself getting dumber when it’s on my TV, and I’m not too bright to begin with.[/quote]Yeah, that show is the Cubs of sports tv.
Mercurial OutfielderQuote Reply
Alright, I’m out for the night, fuckmeltingfaces!
Aisle424Quote Reply
[quote name=Horny Goat]since “two and half men” is/was so popular, perhaps that could provide fodder with the cubs roster in some way.
2011: Whores and Failure.
Mercurial OutfielderQuote Reply
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]2008: Winning.
2011: Whores and Failure.[/quote]
I like it!
Horny GoatQuote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424]Alright, I’m out for the night, fuckmeltingfaces![/quote]
I’ll flag that one myself.
Horny GoatQuote Reply
[quote name=Horny Goat]I’ll flag that one myself.[/quote]You only come here to nitpick.
Mercurial OutfielderQuote Reply
At least you got to watch the game. Mediacom is awful. But after a few innings on gamecast I thought the same about the 5 spot. Whatev.
mikjones24Quote Reply
did Colvin go below the .100 mark yet?
will this be the worst hitting team in cubs history?
Horny GoatQuote Reply
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]You only come here to nitpick.[/quote]
I’ll flag that myself.
Horny GoatQuote Reply
[quote name=Horny Goat]did Colvin go below the .100 mark yet?
will this be the worst hitting team in cubs history?[/quote]Correct. False. Maybe.
Mercurial OutfielderQuote Reply
[quote name=mikjones24]At least you got to watch the game. Mediacom is awful. But after a few innings on gamecast I thought the same about the 5 spot. Whatev.[/quote]
I regret watching SOME of that dreadful game, even though I knew the outcome already. Who does that? (dying laughing)
I watched a good Twins team (again) beat a nice- early I know- Royals team (again)
Horny GoatQuote Reply
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Correct. False. Maybe.[/quote]
I love a person with conviction.
Horny GoatQuote Reply
MO, I remember you being a fan of IPA beers. Any new ones?
Horny GoatQuote Reply
I wasn’t a fan of Sierra Nevada, btw. Looking for something different since I quit drinking whiskey, etc… no more liquor for me.
Horny GoatQuote Reply
[quote name=Horny Goat]MO, I remember you being a fan of IPA beers. Any new ones?[/quote]Walking Man Homo Erectus is a revelation. DesChutes has their Red Chair NWPA out now, and that’s always good. Fort George has a run of can-conditioned pales and IPAs out now that are all quite good. Oskar Blues’ Dale’s Pale Ale is a go-to for me. Boneyard’s RPM IPA is the Platonic form of Pacific Northwest IPA. Where are you at, BTW? It’ll depend on location. These are the beers you can get here in the PacNW. If you’re in Chicago, I can’t recommend Half Acre Daisy Cutter highly enough, and Two Brother’s Bitter End and Hop Juice are very, very good.
Mercurial OutfielderQuote Reply
[quote name=Horny Goat]I wasn’t a fan of Sierra Nevada, btw. Looking for something different since I quit drinking whiskey, etc… no more liquor for me.[/quote]What do you look for in a beer? Hoppy, wheaty, stout character (coffee, molasses, etc)? Malty?
Mercurial OutfielderQuote Reply
Tried Stone Ruination IPA?
ZappBranniganQuote Reply
[quote name=ZappBrannigan]Tried Stone Ruination IPA?[/quote]Oh, yeah. Love Stone beers. Each and every one.
Mercurial OutfielderQuote Reply
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]What do you look for in a beer? Hoppy, wheaty, stout character (coffee, molasses, etc)? Malty?[/quote]
thanks for the tips, MO. Depends on how I’m feeling but I gotta say I don’t like anything that tastes similar to Sierra Nevada, but I’ve been loving stouts recently. I loved good beer in Germany. Closest thing I’ve found was Franzikaner and even that varies a lot.
I’m still in Lincoln, NE but we get beers from all over believe me so that’s no problem. I just don’t go out enough to try them all.
I keep hearing about IPAs and want to taste what all the fuss is about.
Horny GoatQuote Reply
A solid IPA that you should be able to find anywhere is the Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA. I’d also highly recommend their seasonal Aprihop, if you can find it still.
I also might look at Great Lakes Brewing Company, their Edmund Fitzgerald Porter and Commodore Perry IPA are pretty good. Even if it is from Cleveland.
GBTSQuote Reply
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Walking Man Homo Erectus is a revelation. [/quote]
Always knew you liked homo beer.
[quote name=Horny Goat]I’m still in Lincoln, NE but we get beers from all over believe me so that’s no problem.[/quote]
So it’s almost like a real city now?
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
[quote name=GBTS]A solid IPA that you should be able to find anywhere is the Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA. I’d also highly recommend their seasonal Aprihop, if you can find it still.
[/quote]
I like their pumpkin beer.
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
Oh, and Daisy Cutter FTW, MO. I live like 6 blocks from that brewery, pretty soon they’ll start charging me rent.
GBTSQuote Reply
Whitenack: 6 IP, 1 H, 0 ER, 12 K, 0 BB 6-1 GO-FO
Not bad.
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
http://www.minorleagueball.com/2011/4/12/2104894/top-high-school-pitchers-for-2011-baseball-draft
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
[quote name=Jame Gumb]Whitenack: 6 IP, 1 H, 0 ER, 12 K, 0 BB 6-1 GO-FO
Not bad.[/quote]
Don’t you like anything?
MishQuote Reply
[quote name=GBTS]A solid IPA that you should be able to find anywhere is the Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA. I’d also highly recommend their seasonal Aprihop, if you can find it still.
[/quote]
Dogfish Head is the shit. Bar I used to
get shitfacedfrequent in college had 60 minute on tap and 90 minute in bottles. Fun times. I also enjoy Lagunitas.WaLiQuote Reply
[quote name=Mish]Don’t you like anything?[/quote]
Does it say 0 H?!
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
[quote name=Jame Gumb]Does it say 0 H?![/quote]
Is that like not giving up a hit?
MishQuote Reply
[quote name=Mish]Is that like not giving up a hit?[/quote]
No, it’s like a no-hitter.
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
[quote name=Jame Gumb]http://www.minorleagueball.com/2011/4/12/2104894/top-high-school-pitchers-for-2011-baseball-draft[/quote]Here’s who the Cubs are looking at for the first and second rounds: http://www.minorleagueball.com/2011/4/12/2104894/worst-high-school-pitchers-for-2011-baseball-draft
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=mb21]Here’s who the Cubs are looking at for the first and second rounds: http://www.minorleagueball.com/2011/4/12/2104894/worst-high-school-pitchers-for-2011-baseball-draft%5B/quote%5D
404 page not found…let’s see what happens.
MishQuote Reply
[quote name=Mish]404 page not found…let’s see what happens.[/quote]
Is that like when you can’t find the page?
Aisle424Quote Reply
[quote name=mb21]Here’s who the Cubs are looking at for the first and second rounds: http://www.minorleagueball.com/2011/4/12/2104894/worst-high-school-pitchers-for-2011-baseball-draft%5B/quote%5D
Wrong. It’s this page:
http://www.minorleagueball.com/2011/4/12/2104894/fagets-for-2011-baseball-draft
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
Texas Longhorns —–> statfags
http://insider.espn.go.com/ncf/blog?name=feldman_bruce&id=6336198&action=login&appRedirect=http%3a%2f%2finsider.espn.go.com%2fncf%2fblog%3fname%3dfeldman_bruce%26id%3d6336198
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
[quote name=Jame Gumb]Wrong. It’s this page:
http://www.minorleagueball.com/2011/4/12/2104894/fagets-for-2011-baseball-draft[/quote]http://www.minorleagueball.com/2011/4/12/2104894/high-school-pitchers-you-ve-probably-never-heard-of
AndCountingQuote Reply
http://www.didishutyourightuptoday.com
AndCountingQuote Reply
[quote name=AndCounting]www.didishutyourightuptoday.com[/quote]Apparently you offended everybody with your last comment. They’re all crying now.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=mb21]Apparently you offended everybody with your last comment. They’re all crying now.[/quote]Or the link actually works and they’re all engrossed by an article about trendy new undiscovered teenage boys.
AndCountingQuote Reply
Fangraphs:
MishQuote Reply
[quote name=AndCounting]Or the link actually works and they’re all engrossed by an article about trendy new undiscovered teenage boys.[/quote]You’ll always have a friend in NAMBLA.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=Mish]Fangraphs:
mb21Quote Reply
Rangers just signed the top Cuban talent for around 15 mill. They are building an empire over there
dylanjQuote Reply
[quote name=dylanj]Rangers just signed the top Cuban talent for around 15 mill. They are building an empire over there[/quote]The Rangers didn’t get shit compared to this guy the Cubs signed from Cuba: http://www.havanatimes.org/?p=6919
mb21Quote Reply
It still cracks me up that the Cubs signed a pitcher from Cuba who wasn’t even good in Cuba.
Cubs scout: maybe a change of scenery will make him better
Why on earth would you sign a guy who couldn’t even be decent in what the equivalent of A ball?
mb21Quote Reply
Serrano was the F7 of Cuba. No, that’s not right. He was worse than f7 in Cuba.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=mb21]
Cubs scout: maybe a change of scenery will make him better[/quote]
…let’s see what happens
MishQuote Reply
[quote name=mb21]Serrano was the F7 of Cuba. No, that’s not right. He was worse than f7 in Cuba.[/quote]
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
All he did after coming here was what we expected: 5.24 ERA last year. $250K down the drain. So the Cubs really threw away $11.75 million when they got rid of Silva.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=Jame Gumb]
[/quote](dying laughing)
(dying laughing)
(dying laughing)
AndCountingQuote Reply
The good news with that 5.24 ERA is that it was an improvement over what he’d done in Cuba. The problem is that it was at a much easier level.
mb21Quote Reply
http://www.fangraphs.com/not/index.php/joe-west-clears-kevin-youkilis-for-takeoff/
*snicker*
Rice CubeQuote Reply
I think the Cubs were hoping that capitalism would inspire Serrano to start finding the plate.
GBTSQuote Reply
48÷2(9+3) = ?
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
[quote name=Jame Gumb]48÷2(9+3) = ?[/quote]
Profit!
Rice CubeQuote Reply
[quote name=Jame Gumb]48÷2(9+3) = ?[/quote]banana
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=Jame Gumb]48÷2(9+3) = ?[/quote]2
AndCountingQuote Reply
288?
MishQuote Reply
Order of operations here would go –
Parentheses 9+3 = 12
The multiply/divide left to right so first
48 /2 = 24
And finally 24 * 12
= 288
MishQuote Reply
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
[quote name=Mish]Order of operations here would go –
Parentheses 9+3 = 12
The multiply/divide left to right so first
48 /2 = 24
And finally 24 * 12
= 288[/quote]False
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=Mish]Order of operations here would go –
Parentheses 9+3 = 12
The multiply/divide left to right so first
48 /2 = 24
And finally 24 * 12
= 288[/quote]
SMRT
Rice CubeQuote Reply
Am I missing something?
MishQuote Reply
[quote name=Mish]Am I missing something?[/quote]
No, I think you’re right about the order of operations. Berselius would know, he has numbers on the brain.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
cdwQuote Reply
Yeah well I’m Indian so I need to be validated on my math skills.
MishQuote Reply
[quote name=Mish]Order of operations here would go –
Parentheses 9+3 = 12
The multiply/divide left to right so first
48 /2 = 24
And finally 24 * 12
= 288[/quote]The TI-82 disagrees.
AndCountingQuote Reply
[quote name=AndCounting]The TI-82 disagrees.[/quote]Numbers don’t tell the whole story.
GBTSQuote Reply
See, if it were 48 div (2(9+3)), then it should be 2. But there is no second set of parentheses, so I think Mish is correct.
But I am not a math major, nor have I actually done math for more than just fun since I was a freshman in college.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
If you fagets actually watched an equation every now and then you would know the answer.
GBTSQuote Reply
[quote name=AndCounting]The TI-82 disagrees.[/quote]
Microsoft Excel agrees with me, unless there is something I am missing.
Seriously, this is going to bug me.
MishQuote Reply
[quote name=GBTS]If you fagets actually watched an equation every now and then you would know the answer.[/quote]
Can’t observe it in a spreadsheet!…Oh wait, I just did.
MishQuote Reply
Mish is technically correct, which is the best kind of correct, but any mathematician who wrote that down would interpret the answer as two. The main reason is that no one uses that division sign and uses a simple slash instead. Implicitly if you just write a bunch of shit to the right of the slash it’s assumed that’s in the denominator, unless you cordon off that term with its own parentheses.
BerseliusQuote Reply
[quote name=Mish]Seriously, this is going to bug me.[/quote]
That’s why I posted it. Holla!
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
[quote name=Berselius]Mish is technically correct, which is the best kind of correct, but any mathematician who wrote that down would interpret the answer as two. The main reason is that no one uses that division sign and uses a simple slash instead. Implicitly if you just write a bunch of shit to the right of the slash it’s assumed that’s in the denominator, unless you cordon off that term with its own parentheses.[/quote]
Hooray!
Rice CubeQuote Reply
[quote name=Jame Gumb]That’s why I posted it. Holla![/quote]
I’m going to go ahead and flag this.
WaLiQuote Reply
i.e. (48/2)*(9+3)
BerseliusQuote Reply
[quote name=Berselius]Mish is technically correct, which is the best kind of correct, but any mathematician who wrote that down would interpret the answer as two. The main reason is that no one uses that division sign and uses a simple slash instead. Implicitly if you just write a bunch of shit to the right of the slash it’s assumed that’s in the denominator, unless you cordon off that term with its own parentheses.[/quote]Cool people do, ironically.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
[quote name=Berselius]Mish is technically correct, which is the best kind of correct, but any mathematician who wrote that down would interpret the answer as two. The main reason is that no one uses that division sign and uses a simple slash instead. Implicitly if you just write a bunch of shit to the right of the slash it’s assumed that’s in the denominator, unless you cordon off that term with its own parentheses.[/quote]
Yes the division sign through me off but I mentally just turned it into the slash. Makes me feel good, but I didn’t know mathemeticians would interpret it differently.
MishQuote Reply
[quote name=Jame Gumb]That’s why I posted it. Holla![/quote]
Amusing
MishQuote Reply
I didn’t enable comments on this one and it can be found on the menu under Site, but here’s something I put together: http://obstructedview.net/chicago-cubs/projections/2011-cubs-log5.html
The cubs are already 1 game off their projected 79.8 wins and 1.6 wins off of 90 wins if that was their true talent.
mb21Quote Reply
stuff: http://obstructedview.net/chicago-cubs/articles/cubs-offense-as-bad-as-we-thought-despite-albert-pujols-leading-off-every-inning.html
mb21Quote Reply