Cubs reward graduates with a pre-game parade and a piece of paper

In Unobstructed Views by Obstructed View Staff39 Comments

The Cubs have set up a new promotion that doesn’t really promote anything.  The relevant story is here.

Based on this promotion, the recent graduates can participate in a “special pre-game graduation parade (weather permitting) on the warning track to recognize {their} recent accomplishment” and “also receive a certificate commemorating this spectacular event.”  The two games are on June 1 against the Astros and June 13 against the Brewers.  Not really cheap games either as the Astros game is a “silver” date and the Brewers game is a “gold” date.  

Maybe I’m being a bit selfish when thinking about this, but is it too much to ask to maybe get a discount on at least the graduate’s ticket, or maybe have them get a signed baseball by Marlon Byrd or Koyie Hill instead of a stupid piece of paper?  I mean, you don’t even get to shake hands with the players or anything.  

I haven’t finished my graduate thesis yet, but if I were to graduate in time for this event, I don’t think I’d want to do it.


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  1. Rice Cube

    So I guess the things I need to learn are:

    1. How to do a hyperlink
    2. How to put stuff in quote boxes
    3. How to do multiple tags

    Technology scares me.

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  2. Rice Cube

    Should probably learn how to change fonts too. This is the worst blog entry to every happen on this blog.

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  3. Rice Cube

    Reading through this a bit more, it doesn’t even look like they set up any way to verify that the kid actually graduated. I just entered the code on a whim to see if they have a verification screen, and they don’t.

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  4. Suburban kid

    When will the wedding promotion be announced? “All brides and grooms and their wedding parties can partake in a batter’s eye suite party celebrating their nuptials in style as the Cubs take on the Florida Marlins….tickets still available!”

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  5. Rice Cube

    [quote name=mb21]I’m going to start writing something on a few of these things, RC. Completely forgot about it last time.[/quote]
    Thanks boss.

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  6. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Suburban Kid]When will the wedding promotion be announced? “All brides and grooms and their wedding parties can partake in a batter’s eye suite party celebrating their nuptials in style as the Cubs take on the Florida Marlins….tickets still available!”[/quote]
    Yeah, I imagine the warning track would dirty up their lovely white gowns and dress shoes. The batters’ eye celebration is genius.

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  7. Rice Cube

    [quote name=mb21]And you can’t do discounted tickets for graduates. It would piss Al off. (dying laughing)[/quote]
    Because Al didn’t graduate?

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  8. Suburban kid

    [quote name=Rice Cube]Because Al didn’t graduate?[/quote]Al went to Pepsodent U.

    Everyone knows this.

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  9. Aisle424

    That was a really long explanation of “Buy tickets to this game for full price and walk on the warning track before the game in front of everybody!”

    You’re right, RC, there doesn’t seem to be anything that checks if someone graduated from anything. Also, if there were some sort of check, there would need to be standards and as far as I can tell, it wouldn’t matter if you graduated from college, high school, kindergarten or Clown College to qualify.

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  10. Rice Cube

    [quote name=mb21]Because he’s their best customer.[/quote]
    Same thing.
    [quote name=Suburban Kid]Al went to Pepsodent U.

    Everyone knows this.[/quote]
    I did not. I am ashamed.

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  11. mb21

    You’re telling me I can use my Clown College diploma for something, 424? That’s awesome. here I was thinking there was no use for clowns in today’s world. Turns out 7 years of college wasn’t a waste after all.

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  12. GBTS

    [quote name=Rice Cube]So I guess the things I need to learn are:

    1. How to do a hyperlink
    2. How to put stuff in quote boxes
    3. How to do multiple tags

    Technology scares me.[/quote]You’re new here. Please read the 42,000 word post about how to format posts.

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  13. Rice Cube

    [quote name=GBTS]You’re new here. Please read the 42,000 word post about how to format posts.[/quote]
    Don’t tell me what to do.

    I’ll fix the formatting at some point (dying laughing)

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  14. Perkins

    [quote name=Aisle424] Also, if there were some sort of check, there would need to be standards and as far as I can tell, it wouldn’t matter if you graduated from college, high school, kindergarten or Clown College to qualify.[/quote]
    Graduating from Clown College is an event I recently enjoyed.

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  15. Hector Villanueva

    [quote name=Rice Cube]Don’t tell me what to do.

    I’ll fix the formatting at some point (dying laughing)[/quote]
    You’re new here.

    You need to slow down a little. First, the profanity was unnecessary, even with the ***’s.

    I’d like to make a friendly suggestion: read through the comments and posts first so you understand a little better what this site is all about, then after a while, jump in and participate. OV isn’t a message board.

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  16. Suburban kid

    [quote name=Mish]Mish —–> didn’t die, was allowed back on U.S. soil.

    I’ll catch up with you fagets tomorrow.[/quote]Wait, so you went to Mexico on vacation for like a day and a half?

    Sounds shady.

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  17. mb21

    [quote name=Suburban Kid]Wait, so you went to Mexico on vacation for like a day and a half?

    Sounds shady.[/quote]Mish went to pick up a pound and a half of weed. Leave him alone.

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  18. Berselius

    [quote name=Jame Gumb][/quote]
    I was at the Hyde Park HEB a few weeks ago at twilight and it was deafening walking through the parking lot. There must have been at least 10,000 birds in those trees, all squaking to one another.

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  19. Dr. Aneus Taint

    [quote name=Berselius]I was at the Hyde Park HEB a few weeks ago at twilight and it was deafening walking through the parking lot. There must have been at least 10,000 birds in those trees, all squaking to one another.[/quote]
    Were they birds, or…BATS?!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7g9WjcGdxuM

    I wonder if that pic was taken at the 38 1/2 St. Fiesta? Bought a lot of Surge at that groceria in my day.

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  20. Xoomwaffle

    I feel like the next two weeks are when the wheels are going to come off the “Cubs are in hunt” express. 3 against the Cards, 3 against the Giants, 2 @ the Marlins, 2 @ the Reds, capped off by 3 @ the Red Sox…

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  21. Rice Cube

    [quote name=GBTS]Anyone think Theriot actually gets plunked today?[/quote]
    Not “intentionally.” I’d be surprised if they did it unless they were up by 10 in the 9th inning. But I guess you can never underestimate the power of a team to be petty about stupid shit.

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  22. Suburban kid

    Yeah, seeing as the media have practically been begging for a Theriot plunking, I’d say it won’t happen in this series. But they’ll have plenty of other games against the cards so I wouldn’t be surprised to see it done later in the year. Silly as it is, I think Koyie was serious and we know Quade is obssessed with other teams’ breaches of etiquette .

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  23. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Rice Cube]http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/milton-bradley-and-statheads/[/quote]
    (dying laughing)

    Random Guy says:
    May 10, 2011 at 11:13 am
    What do Initech and the 2009 Cubs season have in common? Both went up in flames because of a disgruntled employee named Milton.

    If only they’d given MB his red stapler back.

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