Can Rosenbloom out-stupid Rosenbloom?

Steve Rosenbloom’s streak of semi-reasonable articles came to a screeching halt yesterday (we’re all regression fans here, so we saw this coming) with his “thrashing” of the Cubs’ Carlos Zambrano and his decision to go adopt a child during the All-Star break.  Cue Rosenbloom:

Latest cases in point began when Zambrano went on the disabled list with a bad back that forced him out of a game. He had experienced back trouble before, such as when he was trying to win the batting-practice home run title, one of the many idiot things Zambrano has done while apparently been enabled by the apparently neutered Cubs.

Rosenbloom starts by relating two injuries that may or may not be related.  And maybe Zambrano was swinging too hard in batting practice, but is it that shameful that an NL pitcher who’s an okay hitter is getting his hacks in?  The blame is all hindsight – no one chastised David Price for hitting BP home runs and then cartwheeling around the bases.  Injuries happen, and sometimes they happen at unfortunate times. Blaming it on Zambrano’s “idiocy” is a non-sequitur.

Anyway, Zambrano got hurt and then threw out the first pitch at a softball game. It’s not that his back was in much jeopardy, but it was the appearance of idiocy.

I’ll give “Rosey” some credit here, as he at least notes that throwing out the first pitch for a softball game is not going to hurt Zambrano (credit that cannot be given to many Cubs fans who thought Zambrano should have gone home without dinner following the injury).  Still, by invoking the “appearance of idiocy”, Rosenbloom is enabling the idiots who do think the first pitch was a big deal.

(And that’s just one of the problems with Chicago’s baseball writers.  When they aren’t overtly trying to run players out of town *cough Sullivan cough*, they are too busy enabling braindead fans.  I know this happens everywhere, and I’m sure the Cubs aren’t necessarily exceptional on this front.  I like that Rosenbloom will be adverserial with this team, but he panders to every mouth-breather’s gripes and qualms that renders his overall product unreadable.)

Zambrano threw a bullpen session at Wrigley Field on Wednesday while the Cubs were looking stupid in a third straight one-run loss in Washington on a suicide squeeze that just pantsed everybody from the manager on down. More of that later. For now, the story is that Zambrano threw a bullpen at Wrigley instead of in Washington because the Cubs didn’t want the big goof to further hurt or strain his back sitting on an airplane. This spasm of lucidity could impact the Cubs’ chances reaching first place in the Frickin’ Idiot League.

Okay let’s work on the timeline here.  Zambrano gets hurt Thursday, June 30th.  The Cubs fly out to Washington Sunday, July 3rd.  Zambrano throws a bullpen session in Chicago on Wednesday, July 6th.  You with me so far? If you’re not Steve Rosenbloom, you probably are, so let’s go on…

Now get a load of this: Zambrano plans to fly to Guatemala over the All-Star break to prepare for the adoption of his son. Can you say “utter disrespect,’’ boys and girls?

First off, Richie Whitt says hi.  Secondly, Zambrano is flying out at least a week after he didn’t fly to Washington, and more than a week and a half after he got hurt.  And nevermind the fact that he’s obviously fine enough to make a rehab start at Class A Peoria today. (To the OV guys, I will not eat dinner since I just linked to Al).  He’s also not missing a start, or otherwise affecting the team in any other way. In fact, the All-Star Break is the perfect time for something like this.

But let’s not lose sight of what’s important.  Carlos Zambrano, wealthy athlete, is using that wealth to help enrich a little boy who likely would have dealt with a life of hardship.  He’s taking him in as his own son.  To me, this is an exemplar of valor.  This is what I’d love to see more people do.  He’s positively affecting the life of a kid for whom no one else would have cared.  I mean seriously, this deserves the Orson Wells applaud.gif.  But Rosenbloom finds this as an “utter disrespect”?

I love baseball more than I love most things (probably to my detriment), but I never lose sight that it’s just a silly stickball game that provides both leisure and escapism for me.  I can forget my worries with a ballgame and an IPA or I can intellectually masturbate to my spreadsheets.  I love this fucking game.  But never, ever is it more important than family, friends, or making positive contributions to society. Baseball allows us to simulate the emotions of real life, but it does not replace them.  I really can’t put it better than Craig Calcaterra did yesterday:

Some folks get criticized for missing the game as a result of having their heads buried in spreadsheets. Better that than to miss the important things in life as a result of having your head buried in a game.

At this point, there’s no real reason to continue with the article.  Rosenbloom kvetches about Kerry Wood and blisters and the Cubs enabling Zambrano…all standard drivel from our resident fuckopath.  I can stand the daily hackery of lambasting pitchers for not getting wins or hitters being clutch; that’s all just confined to the sport and the discourse therein.

But when people start running hatchet jobs on a person for doing one of the more commendable things imaginable, well, I just can’t take it.   There is idiocy out there, and it must be fought without pity or hesitation.


107 thoughts on “Can Rosenbloom out-stupid Rosenbloom?”

  1. I hate it when sportswriters follow their schtick to the point of becoming self-parodies. This is one of those times.

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  2. This man has a serious vendetta. Does anybody know why he hates Z so much? Did Z do something to him? His articles are nothing more than personal attacks. How does he still have a job?

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  3. I read the Rosenblech article twice. Once before the rehab start was announced and once after. Much funnier the second time.

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  4. It’s unbelievable that shit like this gets published in Chicago and it doesn’t seem to just be with the Cubs. Does this exist in other major markets?

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  5. [quote name=WaLi]It’s unbelievable that shit like this gets published in Chicago and it doesn’t seem to just be with the Cubs. Does this exist in other major markets?[/quote]
    I think so – over at BTF I see a lot of similar inanity coming from NY beat writers as well.

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  6. And to clarify, by shit like this I mean this UV. Obviously the Rosenbloom article is pure gold Jerry, gold!

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  7. [quote name=WaLi]And to clarify, by shit like this I mean this UV. Obviously the Rosenbloom article is pure gold Jerry, gold![/quote](dying laughing)

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  8. [quote name=Mish]I think so – over at BTF I see a lot of similar inanity coming from NY beat writers as well.[/quote]Maybe it is just because the blogs I read are so critical, but there doesn’t seem to be a good sports writer in this town for any sport. I don’t know if it is because the normal Chicago sports fan believes in this crap or what it is, but it would be nice to have a knowledgable sports writer.

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  9. [quote name=WaLi]Maybe it is just because the blogs I read are so critical, but there doesn’t seem to be a good sports writer in this town for any sport. I don’t know if it is because the normal Chicago sports fan believes in this crap or what it is, but it would be nice to have a knowledgable sports writer.[/quote]Co-signed

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  10. I think we are seeing the MSM’s reaction to losing readership to the interwebs. MB mentioned it the other day and I think he’s right, alot of the stuff that appears on these sites is being driven by SEO practices.

    You look at tweets about the Cubs and the most common words used these days are derivations of idiot, dumb, and stupid. I would imagine the Google traffic for “stupid Cubs” or “why are Cubs idiots” are pretty high and this article will come up for almost any permutation of a search like that.

    This isn’t to say that Rosenbloom doesn’t have an axe to grind, but I think the blatant nature of the attacks is an overt attempt to drive traffic not only through sensationalism (which is a tried and true method) but through catering to what the masses are already buzzing about.

    When that happens, true analysis from supposed experts gets diluted down to the crap we see on a daily basis. It gets amplified when the writer was never very good anyway.

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  11. [quote name=Mish]I’m just sorry I took away your post, 424. (dying laughing)[/quote]
    I just didn’t have the energy to do it last night. Well done.

    Just don’t steal all my booger jokes. Those are exclusively my territory.

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  12. Okay let’s work on the timeline here. Zambrano gets hurt Thursday, June 30th. The Cubs fly out to Washington Sunday, June 3rd. Zambrano throws a bullpen session in Chicago on Wednesday, June 6th. You with me so far? If you’re not Steve Rosenbloom, you probably are, so let’s go on…

    Zambrano has a time machine!!!!!

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  13. The sportswriters for the papers in this town and elsewhere are dinosaurs. NO ONE buys newspapers anymore at face value. The only way they sell papers is by practically giving them away in a subscription. The sportswriters feel like they have to be uberdouches in order to rile the general public into buying the paper. “What is that asshole going to say next?”

    Jay Mariotti became a millionaire with that schtick in this town and unfortunately, the other sportswriters were watching and taking notes. Hopefully they were still taking notes when Mariotti beat the hell out of his girlfriend and will realize when he gets sent to prison that emulating that jackwagon is not something they should be doing.

    Rosenbloom’s sole purpose on earth is to sell newspapers and he knows that his writing skills aren’t good enough to do it so he plays the asshole card and hopes that people will buy it just so they can tell him what a hack he is.

    You guys should ignore him and never mention his name. You probably gave the Tribune website a few hits from readers going there to read the article and see what all the fuss is about. I’m sure they take a look at page views on the website so the best way to combat him is to never mention him or give any of your readers a reason to go look at what inane BS he is spewing.

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  14. [quote name=shawndgoldman]I hate it when sportswriters follow their schtick to the point of becoming self-parodies. This is one of those times.[/quote]Exactly. Of all the reasons to criticize Zambrano, and there are many, this simply is not one of them. In fact, this is a time that every person who bashed Zambrano should be commending him. There’s no possible reason one could have to bash another human being for adopting a child nobody wants. Under no circumstance is it OK to do so.

    Even if this was game 7 in the World Series, you just can’t criticize him for this. I don’t believe Rosenbloom is that stupid. I would assume he has a college education and quite probably is smarter than the average person. I wouldn’t bet money on that one, but it’s likely. He can’t possible believe what he wrote.

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  15. I think we are seeing the MSM’s reaction to losing readership to the interwebs. MB mentioned it the other day and I think he’s right, alot of the stuff that appears on these sites is being driven by SEO practices.

    Great point. Now it makes sense. That’s exactly why this article was published. You have several things in one article that people are sure to be searching frequently for some time.

    Cubs dumb, Zambrano dumb, mentioning a mid-term exam, something about coin flips and Vegas. All of these are things people will search in some way. That’s just the first couple paragraphs.

    Zambrano injury. Zambrano adoption.

    This is pure SEO gold.

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  16. James, I don’t believe Mish linked to Rosenbloom and this is an article that many people are going to read just for the unbelievable stupidity and cruelness.

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  17. [quote name=mb21]Mish, this is really good work. I’m going to move this to the front page later on today.[/quote]Thanks, I appreciate it.

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  18. [quote name=Aisle424]http://comedians.jokes.com/slovin-and-allen/videos/slovin—allen—time-machine/[/quote]That’s a shit ton of twinkies (dying laughing)

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  19. Well done, Mish.

    I don’t think Rosenbloom wrote this to drive traffic like some have contended. Rosenhack likes to start a narrative and follow it. Two very strong narratives of his are that the Cubs have enabled Zambrano and that they’re stupid. He is trying to shoehorn this adoption trip into that narrative and it’s failed spectacularly. I really can’t believe that anyone in their right mind would agree with him unless they are so blinded by their prejudice against Z. By prejudice I don’t mean racial judgment but people’s preconceived belief that Z is selfish, childish and enabled by management to act outside the best interests of the team.

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  20. I don’t think Rosenbloom wrote this to drive traffic like some have contended

    It’s not that he wrote it to drive traffic to the site. He wrote it in a way to ensure more search engine hits. After 424 mentioned it, it was fairly obvious when reading it again. I don’t know what Rosenbloom really believes though I do sincerely doubt he believes what he wants us to think. I do know that there are too many popular search engine phrases in that article for it to be a coincidence.

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  21. aramis will be traded to the pirates to finish what he started. we will receive mark bellhorn & bobby hill

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  22. [quote name=dylanj]aramis will be traded to the pirates to finish what he started. we will receive mark bellhorn & bobby hill[/quote]So the Pirates are going to trade someone for Jose Hernandez and then send him to us? Can’t wait.

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  23. [quote name=dylanj]aramis will be traded to the pirates to finish what he started. we will receive mark bellhorn & bobby hill[/quote]The Matrix? “Everything that has a beginning has an end”.

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  24. The Pirates pbp guy was a little peeved with that Cubs fan going nuts when he caught the popup, as were the Pirates fans. He asked the color guy what he thought.

    color guy: he caught it. Cubs fans are known for catching foul balls. Even when it keeps them out of the World Series.

    (dying laughing)

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  25. I come back from softball just as the Cubs cough up the lead…on an infield single? Gotta see this replay.

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  26. [quote name=ACT]Lopez allowed to bat with 2 runners on? Really?[/quote]
    Bullpen taxed from yesterday dude.

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  27. [quote name=dylanj]aramis will be traded to the pirates to finish what he started. we will receive mark bellhorn & bobby hill[/quote]
    And flip them for Mark DeRosa and Mike Fontenot

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  28. [quote name=mb21]This team can’t even lose when it’s in their interest.[/quote]The Cubs are bad at everything.

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  29. So on that infield single to Barney that scored the two runs, should Castro have been covering 2B? I thought that was Castro’s ball as they would’ve been shifted a bit over for the lefty anyway.

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  30. I still don’t know why the Cubs haven’t just tried stretching Sean Marshall out to start. Rodrigo Lopez and Ramon Fucking Ortiz are in the rotation.

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  31. [quote name=Berselius]I still don’t know why the Cubs haven’t just tried stretching Sean Marshall out to start. Rodrigo Lopez and Ramon Fucking Ortiz are in the rotation.[/quote]We’re trying to win games here.

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  32. [quote name=Berselius]I still don’t know why the Cubs haven’t just tried stretching Sean Marshall out to start. Rodrigo Lopez and Ramon Fucking Ortiz are in the rotation.[/quote]
    Methunk Marshall preferred to be a reliever, although you wouldn’t think this would be up to the guy but rather the management…also doesn’t seem like he does that well after one time through the lineup but that’s probably my lying eyes at work again.

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  33. [quote name=Rice Cube]Methunk Marshall preferred to be a reliever, although you wouldn’t think this would be up to the guy but rather the management…also doesn’t seem like he does that well after one time through the lineup but that’s probably my lying eyes at work again.[/quote]
    How many players really prefer to be a relief pitcher though? It’s not like Marshall failed as a starter or anything, or has injury issues like Wood.

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  34. I was never that high on Marshall as a starter, but I’m definitely an order of magnitude higher on him than the rest of the guys the Cubs have trotted out there.

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  35. [quote name=Berselius]How many players really prefer to be a relief pitcher though? It’s not like Marshall failed as a starter or anything, or has injury issues like Wood.[/quote]
    I’d prefer him to be a starter, he’s got some good stuff. It just seems like in the few starts he’s had, he hasn’t been as good for whatever reason. Not sure why…have you guys blogged about this before?

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  36. I wonder if Marmol’s stock is going to drop with these recent outings? He seems much more hittable lately. People are sitting on pitches out of the zone.

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  37. [quote name=josh]I wonder if Marmol’s stock is going to drop with these recent outings? He seems much more hittable lately. People are sitting on pitches out of the zone.[/quote]
    Marmol is Marmol. He’s always been streaky.

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  38. [quote name=Rice Cube]Mrs. Johanson is awesome.[/quote]
    I’m still (dying laughing) at “I’m going to use my context clues here” and “who is the bitch now?”

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  39. [quote name=josh]I wonder if Marmol’s stock is going to drop with these recent outings? He seems much more hittable lately. People are sitting on pitches out of the zone.[/quote]Much the same thing that happened to him in 2008. His fastball fools no one. When he can’t locate it and play the slider off it, he gets in trouble.

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  40. Didn’t Ryno say earlier that all we really need is a top 5 pick? I guess that depends on who signs within the top 5 though, so the Cubs don’t get bumped out due to the comp pick rules.

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  41. The good thing about Marmol shitting the bed, is that we can still call him “White Castle.”

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  42. [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]The good thing about Marmol shitting the bed, is that we can still call him “White Castle.”[/quote]
    (dying laughing)

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  43. [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]The good thing about Marmol shitting the bed, is that we can still call him “White Castle.”[/quote]
    He’s what you crave…?

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  44. [quote name=josh]I wonder if Marmol’s stock is going to drop with these recent outings? He seems much more hittable lately. People are sitting on pitches out of the zone.[/quote]Before this outing, he hadn’t had a run charged to him in many, many games. On 7/03, he had a great 1.1 inning outing with 2 k’s and no walks.On 6/30, he had 2 scoreless innings. Marmol’s “bad” outing recently consist only of a couple of innings. If a starter had a couple of bad innings, would that decrease his value?

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  45. [quote name=ACT]Before this outing, he hadn’t had a run charged to him in many, many games. On 7/03, he had a great 1.1 inning outing with 2 k’s and no walks.On 6/30, he had 2 scoreless innings. Marmol’s “bad” outing recently consist only of a couple of innings. If a starter had a couple of bad innings, would that decrease his value?[/quote]No, not a starter, but a guy who is paid to pitch one inning? Maybe. He’s always been one you were never sure on. I don’t know. I don’t feel confidence when he comes in anymore. But maybe that’s just general team pessimism kicking in.

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  46. I think relievers are just as vulnerable to small sample size problems as starters are. Even the best short relievers can have small bad stretches that seem more serious than they are because they have a smaller workload and because the pitch in high-leverage situations. Hell, even Marmol had some horrible stretches last year.

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  47. [quote name=Rice Cube]He’s what you crave…?[/quote]http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=White%20Castle%20shit

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  48. It’s true that he’s more hittable this year, but he’s made up for it considerably with lower walk totals. When he’s no longer maintaining a good differential between strikeouts and walks, I’ll worry.

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  49. [quote name=ACT]I think relievers are just as vulnerable to small sample size problems as starters are. Even the best short relievers can have small bad stretches that seem more serious than they are because they have a smaller workload and because the pitch in high-leverage situations. Hell, even Marmol had some horrible stretches last year.[/quote]Which is why you don’t hand out contracts to them like Hendry does.

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  50. [quote name=ACT]It’s true that he’s more hittable this year, but he’s made up for it considerably with lower walk totals. When he’s no longer maintaining a good differential between strikeouts and walks, I’ll worry.[/quote]And his career numbers suggest that very well could happen. Hendry needs to try and deal the kid without interpose delay.

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  51. [quote name=ACT]I think relievers are just as vulnerable to small sample size problems as starters are. Even the best short relievers can have small bad stretches that seem more serious than they are because they have a smaller workload and because the pitch in high-leverage situations. Hell, even Marmol had some horrible stretches last year.[/quote]Fair enough. I guess I’m more thinking in terms of selling him as a rental or a long term closer. But maybe they aren’t even trying to shop him. I have no idea. I sense Hendry is afraid to give up what the Cubs have because their farm system has huge holes and he knows it.

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  52. [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]And his career numbers suggest that very well could happen. Hendry needs to try and deal the kid without interpose delay.[/quote]Agree. Anyone of value should be on the block now. What’s the future of this team after Castro, as the previous posts highlighted? There’s nothing to get excited about. Besides, I don’t speak for all fans, but god damn am I ready just to see some different faces.

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  53. [quote name=josh]Fair enough. I guess I’m more thinking in terms of selling him as a rental or a long term closer. But maybe they aren’t even trying to shop him. I have no idea. I sense Hendry is afraid to give up what the Cubs have because their farm system has huge holes and he knows it.[/quote]I think there’s zero chance the Cubs are shopping him. But they should.

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  54. [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Which is why you don’t hand out contracts to them like Hendry does.[/quote]
    Yup…

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  55. [quote name=josh]Agree. Anyone of value should be on the block now. What’s the future of this team after Castro, as the previous posts highlighted? There’s nothing to get excited about. Besides, I don’t speak for all fans, but god damn am I ready just to see some different faces.[/quote]I think you keep Castro, Carpenter, and the better guys in the minors. But there’s not a single player on the current 25-man that I wouldn’t trade outside of those two. The problem is the Cubs will have to eat money to deal some guys (Soriano, Z, maybe Aramis) and won’t get much in return for anyone but Marmol or Soto, and to lesser degree maybe Peña and Byrd.

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  56. [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]And his career numbers suggest that very well could happen.[/quote]Also true; Marmol is a delicately balanced tightrope act (so is Wilson, this year at least).

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  57. ][quote name=ACT]Also true; Marmol is a delicately balanced tightrope act (so is Wilson, this year at least).[/quote]I never understood how Wilson did so well last year.

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  58. [quote name=ACT]Also true; Marmol is a delicately balanced tightrope act (so is Wilson, this year at least).[/quote]The only “closer” I’d ever hand more than a year-long deal (past arbitration) is Mo.

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  59. [quote name=josh]]
    I never understood how Wilson did so well last year.[/quote]Lots of strikeouts, decent walk rate, few home runs. This year his strikeout rate is down and his walk rate is up, but he’s doing OK.

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  60. [quote name=josh]]
    I never understood how Wilson did so well last year.[/quote]
    It was the beard.

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  61. [quote name=Rice Cube]It was the beard.[/quote]I guess it was the beard and the weird shoes he tried to wear that established in my mind that he was a bit of a joke. Not saying he was, but when that’s the first thing you hear about a guy, you jump to conclusions.

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  62. Even when McNutt is healthy, he can’t get any innings in. Long rain delay tonight force him out after only 1 inning (not a good inning at that).

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  63. [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]The only “closer” I’d ever hand more than a year-long deal (past arbitration) is Mo.[/quote]Yep. Maybe Hoffman and Wagner in their primes.

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  64. Holy shit. If the Reds can hold on here, there is a three-way tie for the NL Central lead. The Pirates could be in first place (dying laughing)

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  65. [quote name=mb21]Even when McNutt is healthy, he can’t get any innings in. Long rain delay tonight force him out after only 1 inning (not a good inning at that).[/quote]
    From Low A thru the Majors tonight (so far), Cub opposition had a K:BB rate of 1.54 (34K 22BB)

    The Cubs have a K:BB rate of 2.73 (30K 11BB)

    Seems like Cub pitching is piling up walks this season throughout the system. I’m cherry picking a bit because Boise is having a wonderful K:BB night, but excluding them helps me feel better about my point.

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  66. Speaking of Brian Wilson, he just gave up the go-ahead homer in the top of the 9th. Stupid relievers.

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  67. Aw, schadenfreude. I actually take comfort in that Wilson’s rate stats are worse than Marmol’s (though Wilson is an all-star).

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  68. Good gawd, Bochy is burning through his relievers like crazy in the 9th because they’re all sucking.

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  69. Looking back at last year’s dominant closers: Soriano has been terrible and injured, Soria was so bad he lost his job for a while (he’s been better lately), Wilson has been wild and inconsistent, though Mo and Heath are still dominant. These guys can’t be trusted at all.

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  70. [quote name=Rice Cube]Good gawd, Bochy is burning through his relievers like crazy in the 9th because they’re all sucking.[/quote]I think pulling a reliever after giving up 2 hits is a bit of an overreaction (even if 1 of the hits is a home run).

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  71. Cashner news from Levine:

    In other pitching injury news, Andrew Cashner will begin his rehab by throwing in Mesa, Ariz., on Monday. Cashner had two previous rotator cuff injuries this season. There’s no timetable set for his return at this point.

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  72. [quote name=ACT]Looking back at last year’s dominant closers: Soriano has been terrible and injured, Soria was so bad he lost his job for a while (he’s been better lately), Wilson has been wild and inconsistent, though Mo and Heath are still dominant. These guys can’t be trusted at all.[/quote]That’s why I hate seeing the Cubs spend money on reliever. Unless it’s Mo, you just don’t know what you’re going to get.

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