Damn you, Bob Brenly, you mustachioed moron, for opening your festering suck and dragging me out of Cubsblogtirement.
For some reason beknownst only to her and the family of finches living in her up-do, Carrie Muskat got up yesterday morning to the news of the death of Osama Bin Laden and decided to get the opinions of no less august a commentator than the Cubs color man, Johnny Cakes Bob Brenly. Bob not being a particularly bright man, nor a particularly socially aware man, he responded exactly like you would expect a balding white man with moobs, a bad golf shirt and a handlebar mustache to respond:
The guy [Bin Laden] ruined the rhythm of our baseball season so for no other reason he needs to be killed.
We didn’t know how long it would be, we didn’t know how long we’d have to wait before we could play again, he said. Professionally, it was a little unnerving and obviously, for the whole world it was tremendously unnerving.
Playing in the 2001 World Series was an emotional event Brenly will never forget.
I’ve said it many times, I’ve never been prouder to be a part of Major League Baseball than I was then, Brenly said. We get all carried away and it consumes our lives on a daily basis but the reality is we’re just a distraction, we’re entertainment and it was never more needed than it was that year. For the series to go the way it did, the Yankees winning those three at Yankee Stadium, I think everything played out as good as could be expected under those circumstances.
Two things: if you click that link today, as opposed to clicking it last night, you’ll note the Bin Laden quote is gone. That should tell you everything you need to know about how worried Bob is about it getting out. But guess what. IT FUCKING HAPPENED, BOB. Boom. Lawyered. Second, to be fair, Bob notes that baseball is an attraction, etc. I suppose, then, that I shouldn’t be too hard on old Bob. After all, he immediately begged off his incredibly stupid and crass remark. Right?
Fuck. That. Shit.
Bob, you’ve said a lot of stupid things in the time you’ve been in Chicago. Thankfully, most of them were about baseball. But this, well, this gets my Irish up. Why?
Because I can think of a few thousand reasons why Osama Bin Laden, that miserable fuckdrenched asshole, deserved to die before we decide to kill him over a baseball game. 4 of those reasons were 4 of the finest men I will ever know, men that lived better lives in their 20 some-odd years of life on earth than you, Bob, will manage in your pathetic 6 or 7 decades of miserable, ignorant existence. 17 of those reasons I participated in the recovery of what was left of them. More than 3, 000 of those reasons died blocks from where you sat in a cushy hotel pissing about over having had your season interrupted. So pardon me, Bob, if I’m not feeling charitable towards you. Pardon me if I’m not willing to shrug it off as yet another example of your baldfaced idiocy.
I want you gone, Bob, and I never want you to smell the stench of your stupidity in my city again. Leave, and never come back.
Bob, you can have as many bloggers erase as many of the turds that drop from your furry gob as you wish, but this one will stand here at OV for as long as this blog is around, as a testament to your pridefully craven and horrifically myopic view of the events of September 11 and those that followed.
Am I taking myself too seriously? Perhaps. Almost certainly, in fact. Sorry. I can’t help it. And you, Bob, you can go fuck yourself and the horse you rode in on.
Continue reading “You Know How I Know You’re Stupid?”
