BREAKING: MLB vacates all of Ryan Dempster’s Cubs wins

In a very surprising twist, Commissioner Bud Selig has announced that all of Ryan Dempster's wins, as well as all no-decisions, as a Cub have been vacated. 

We have to make a strong statement and by vacating all of his non-loss appearances we believe we have done just that. It's well past the time that a grown man in a baseball uniform be given the option to think for himself and make decisions on his future. We have 30 Major League Baseball teams who can think for these guys. They're more than willing to tell them what to do and when to do it. If they want one of these men to do something, they will do it. 

It's likely Dempster has played his last game as a Cub and as a result of this swift penalty by MLB, Dempster will finish his career as a Cub with an 0-65 record.  Also as a result, the Cubs finish tied for 1st with the MIlwaukee Brewers in the 2007 NL Central, but due to Dempster's behavior, the Brewers are now the 2007 National League Central Champions. The Cubs finish the season at 83-79. In 2008 the Cubs lose 17 wins and now finish 80-82. 

Obstructed View's investigative team contacted several people inside baseball to get their reaction to today's news. One GM told us "Dempster has crippled the Cubs organization for years with this selfish decision that shouldn't even be his to make in the first place." Another GM said "These actions by players have got to stop because they're limiting our ability to do shit." Yet another GM eloquently said "Can you believe this motherfucker?" No, we absolutely cannot. 

Executives aren't the only ones harmed by these decisions. Managers and coaches are around the players on a day to basis and witness first hand what has happened to America's game. They're clearly frustrated that grown men no longer do everything they're told. 

One longtime former manager told us "we used to trade these guys whenver we wanted, pay them next to nothing and treat them like real men and look at it now. " The manager continued "nowadays, you can't even hit the guy in the nuts with a bat when he makes an error." The players are clearly out of control today and Selig's measure here should help restore the game to it's glory days.

This all came about becasue of a trade and we spoke to another executive and Dempster's trade value now. "The guy hasn't won a game since 2003 so what team is going to want a guy like that?"

He's right. Not only is Dempster 0-65 over the last 9 years, he also has a 6.94 ERA. He's thrown less than 300 innings since his surgery in 2003 and has accumulated about -3.5 WAR. That executive is right inthat Dempster has no value at this point. He's a below replacement level player. The projections haven't been updated yet so I did a back of the napkin update and I come up with a 6.5 ERA and about 20 innings of work the rest of the season. One has to wonder why he's been in the league this long. It's clear he hasn't recovered from surgery in 2003 yet.

51 thoughts on “BREAKING: MLB vacates all of Ryan Dempster’s Cubs wins”

  1. I feel as though my inner baseball fan has been inappropriately touched by this heathen. I am blindsided by this new information.

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  2. @ SVB:

    Earl and I are old swearing buddies. We go way the fuck back, to the days when you could motherfuck a man to his face and he’d take it as a learning moment. I love that shit-assed son of a fuck.

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  3. @ josh:
    Williams frequently got booed by home fans for perceived laziness (supposedly he was an indifferent fielder and didn’t even make a show at running out some grounders). He was also criticized for being a selfish hitter, e.g., not advancing runners). Ted returned the favor by refusing to tip his cap for his fans.

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  4. I’m curious, if Dempster accept a trade to the Dodgers, did the last 9 years happen? Can I un-cross out the look back at Dempster’s Cubs career?

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  5. @ mb21:

    What happens if THoyer get a decent deal from the Dodgers and Dempster (hypothetically) vetoes that trade? You still got his back?

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  6. @ mb21:
    There’s this guy I work with whose name is Josh (same last initial, too) and I get email and IMs for him all the time. I’m always like “Sure you have the right Josh?” Well, one day I got an email intended for Other Josh….from Other Josh. Reminding himself to do something.

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  7. @ Rizzo the Rat:
    Yeah, there you go, and yet his hitting numbers are off the charts. Actually, all of that reminds me of Man-Ram. I think to be a really great hitter, something else has to suffer. Baseballing is hard.

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  8. @ josh:
    His (Williams’) Wikipedia entry says he was often seen taking “shadow swings” when he was in left field.

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  9. This is no longer the site I used to visit occasionally 4 years ago. All of this Breaking News and GM quotes doing everything they can to undiscredit this damn place. What happened to tradition? And when is the NL getting the DH for traditions sake? And what about the unwritten rules of blogging? No, not that one or that one or Rule 34, but those others do apply here, even the written unwritten ones.

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  10. @ josh:

    I had that problem, once. A colleague sent me an email asking me to do a bunch of work in the lab for him. I replied telling him to go fuck himself before realizing his assistant was also named GW.

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  11. Ayone know abything about this Joseph Zeller character in Peoria? Is he the knuckler?

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  12. mb21 wrote:

    I for one am going to be pissed unless they get Kershaw with the Dodgers sending the Cubs buckets of cash too.

    If the Dodgers don’t like that idea, Thoyer could always ask the Red Sox for Beckett and buckets of chicken

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  13. @ josh:
    @ GW:
    I have never had that problem. But then again, if you Google my name, you’ll find everything on the web that pertains to me in about 0.000015 msec without any sifting necessary, unless you use HughesNet satellite internet, then it’ll take 10 min.

    Except for the internet part, I’m glad I have a unique name.

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