For several years now Will Carroll has published Team Health Reports. He previously did so at Baseball Prospectus and now does so at SI. I've never been the biggest fan. It seems far too random. Let's take a look at this year's.
2B Darwin Barney
Darwin Barney doesn't sound like a 2B, but he sure played like one last year. In fact, the Wall Street firm of Darwin Barney, Starlin & Castro should be what the accounting firm of Epstein, Hoyer & McCloud build around.
Aside from Phil Rogers, I'm not sure anyone else has said seriously that the Cubs should consider building around Darwin Barney. If a team is going to build around someone whose upside is a league average player then they're probably going to be pretty bad.
SS Starlin Castro
Castro thrived with the increased workload in '11. He's still young for the position and is just shy of yellow because of concerns about what even a minor leg injury could do to his game.
A leg injury can fuck up a lot of careers. Why would a potential minor leg injury even be considered? Are we going to consider a possible broken wrist for power hitters? What about the possibility of terminal cancer? What's the point?
P2 Ryan Dempster
The Angels point to Ryan Dempster when they're asked about C.J. Wilson and his big contract. The career paths aren't identical, but with these results, it's surprising more teams don't at least try it. Then again, there was Andrew Cashner.
If you focus on two of the most successful at converting to the rotation it will always look good. I'm sure there's been a few successful transitions of players moving from 3rd base to SS too. Then again, there was John Smoltz.
Those 3 players, along with Bryan LaHair and Matt Garza are labeled green.
C Geovany Soto
Soto's had the normal, nagging injuries that catchers have without having the devastating ones that too many do. He's never lived up to his rookie breakout, but he's a solid catcher who still has some upside. He gets a Red rating if the Cubs suddenly expose him to 140-plus games, but the dings tend to keep him from that.
So a catcher who plays more games has an increased chance of injury. If I drive across the country I have a greater chance of injury than if I drive around the block. I don't know what Soto's chance of injury is, but I do know it's higher if he plays 141 games than if he plays 140 of them. The least chance of injury for him on a baseball field would be to play 0. The chance of injury increases with each additional game above that.
CF Marlon Byrd
Byrd's yellow rating isn't a good one. His playing time was down last year because the franchise was looking at options. Actually, Byrd's work with Victor Conte — yes, that one — have kept him mostly healthy during his time in Chicago. He's a trade candidate if he can have a good April and May.
He's right. The Cubs were looking at options last year in CF. What are the options for the type of helmet that Byrd can wear after he comes back from getting drilled in the fucking face? That's why his playing time was down. Not because the Cubs were looking at options.
RF David DeJesus
DeJesus was always compared to his predecessor, Johnny Damon. It's valid until you get to the injuries. DeJesus was always dealing with something while Damon was among the healthiest players in the game. That difference is why Damon's getting some debate in the Hall of Fame discussions and DeJesus is a placeholder for the Cubs.
Yep. The difference between Damon, a possible Hall of Fame career and DeJesus is nothing but injuries.
Along with those 3, Chris Volstad and Alfonso Soriano are labeled yellow. The players below are labeled red.
SP Randy Wells
Forearm problems augur elbow issues. Velocity loss tends to predict shoulder issues. Control problems point to elbow issues. Stamina problems tend to go hand in hand with shoulder issues. What happens when you have all of them? You warm up Travis Wood and Jim Andrews.
The toe bone connected to the heel bone,
The heel bone connected to the foot bone,
The foot bone connected to the leg bone,
The leg bone connected to the knee bone,
The knee bone connected to the thigh bone,
The thigh bone connected to the back bone,
The back bone connected to the neck bone,
The neck bone connected to the head bone
CL Carlos Marmol
Marmol showed some fatigue and velocity issues in the second half. Given his long standing mechanical issues — or should I say, alleged issues, since we really don't know if they're bad, but they sure don't look good — it's reasonable to think that the velocity loss is predictive. Managing Marmol isn't just going to be a medical issue and might give us a lot of insight on Chris Bosio, the Cubs new pitching coach.
I expect managing Marmol will provide us as much information about Bosio as it did the previous pitching coaches Marmol has had.
Ian Stewart, Paul Maholm and Kerry Wood are also red.
Comments
Never cared for Carroll’s work. Then or now.
MishQuote Reply
Never seen this before but it looks like a steaming pile of shit (dying laughing) Nice breakdown.
WaLiQuote Reply
The blurb about Byrd suggests that Carroll didn’t actually do the research necessary to write an informative article.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
Well done, mb. (dying laughing) at “Byrd’s yellow rating isn’t a good one.” Thanks for explaining the green/yellow/red coding system to us, Will. (dying laughing)
AndCountingQuote Reply
This is about motherfucking color-coded injury ratings.
MishQuote Reply
Also love the Geo write up. If Geo plays a ton of games, he’ll be susceptible to injuries. Fortunately, nagging injuries will keep that from happening.
AndCountingQuote Reply
Is that Carroll in the picture? He looks like David Wells trying to pull off “The Samardzija Look”.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
Bubbles lost one of his Survivors in Fantasy Survivor last night. Bubbles is sad
bubblesdachimpQuote Reply
I can’t seem to find our favorite Will Carroll decrying pic of Z after his nohitter
BerseliusQuote Reply
@ Berselius:
I don’t have the images anymore, but the initial post is here: http://dmick89.com/cubs/?p=1273
Follow up: http://dmick89.com/cubs/?p=844
mb21Quote Reply
If I haven’t posted it before, here is the link to the ACB Archives: http://dmick89.com/
mb21Quote Reply
We also know that being placed on the DL is predictive of injuries.
AndCountingQuote Reply
If anyone cares, Andrew Breitbart —–> Dead.
GBTSQuote Reply
@ AndCounting:
I know. It’s just so stupid that I don’t even know why it would have to be written. Surely everybody, even the least intelligent person, knows the more you do something physical the more susceptible you are to injuries. A person who never works out has never been injured. A person who works out frequently will have suffered some injuries for one reason or another. Common. Sense.
mb21Quote Reply
@ mb21:
“Telling.” (dying laughing)
GBTSQuote Reply
@ AndCounting:
That or the team exploring other options. Can’t be sure which one anymore.
mb21Quote Reply
http://www.baseballprospectus.com/article.php?articleid=16139
BerseliusQuote Reply
@ GBTS:
It is telling, but not for the reasons Will thinks. For one thing, Zambrano absolutely did raise his right arm as high as his left. Secondly, how the fuck is someone’s post-game celebration an indication of injury? He just threw a no-hitter. I liked Will prior to this. I had issues with him from time to time. I interviewed him once and he came off as a cocky, arrogant fuck, but I had respect for him. It was this that changed my mind. It wouldn’t matter how much evidence you put in front of him he was going to say it. He’s an ignorant asshole.
mb21Quote Reply
We should do an OV health report. (dying laughing)
GBTSQuote Reply
@ mb21:
Being hit in the face with fastballs is predictive of team option exploring.
AndCountingQuote Reply
AndCounting: Yellow
He’s beem churning out DFPs at an increased rate. If he slows down he could easily get back to Green, but he’s this close to Red because of concerns of what Alzheimers could one day do to him as a blogger.
GBTSQuote Reply
I’ve always agreed with MD on Will Carroll. I don’t understand how anyone gives a shit about this stuff. Let a guy with no access to players medical reports guess how they might get hurt. Now with a color coded system!
dylanjQuote Reply
GBTS wrote:
(dying laughing), we could do another chat that turns into a OV pets health report like we had a few years ago
BerseliusQuote Reply
@ bubblesdachimp:
Cheer up, bubbles: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2108436/Kate-Upton-strips-devours-spicy-burger-extended-Carls-Jr-commercial.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
GBTSQuote Reply
I’ve also been trying to figure out what this even means: Darwin Barney doesn’t sound like a 2B
Is there a particular sound that does sound like a 2B? I’m going to start using that kind of analysis. Top notch.
mb21Quote Reply
@ GBTS:
GBTS: Red
He fought the law…and the law won.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
@ Berselius:
Speaking of, how is Aisley’s cat?
Rice CubeQuote Reply
Suburban Kid: Red
He claims to be a kid, but his comments and tastes in music points to someone who is much older. Without ever seeing or speaking to him in person, I can say with certainty he is in poor health.
GBTSQuote Reply
@ GBTS:
Do people really find this sort of stuff sexy? A hot chick eating a huge, nasty-ass cheeseburger that humans probably shouldn’t even be putting in their mouths? This is like watching my dog eat poop. She’s the most adorable and cutest animal, but she’s out there eating poop. Kate Upton is eating poop.
mb21Quote Reply
@ mb21:
delicious, delicious poop
BerseliusQuote Reply
Mish: Green
Seems young and does yoga. Be aware, however, this Green rating assumes he is not Batman. If he actually is, then the nagging injuries associated with being a crime-fighting vigilante probably dips him into Yellow.
GBTSQuote Reply
(dying laughing) I’m loving these OV Health Reports
mb21Quote Reply
@ mb21:
What burger?
GBTSQuote Reply
Is Kate Upton starting to get fatigued being the hottest woman on the planet? Her right knee is lower than her left in that first picture. Telling.
GBTSQuote Reply
@ GBTS:
This rating also depends on whether he’s had a good night’s rest or has been pulling several all-nighters before facing Bane.
/nerd
Rice CubeQuote Reply
@ mb21:
I think I might find Kate Upton sexier if she was putting my (insert body part) in her mouth…but now I probably went too far.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
Although if Kate Upton is tired, it’s probably because she’s been dancing on this blog non-stop for like three weeks.
GBTSQuote Reply
GBTS wrote:
.
GWQuote Reply
GBTS wrote:
I’ll flag this one myself.
GBTSQuote Reply
@ mb21:
I saw the commercial last night, didn’t realize it was her. Watch the commercial. If you notice the burger you are
gayjosh. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.WaLiQuote Reply
Announcer top 10.
Completely onboard with lad/nym, but i seem to remember despising the sfg pairing.
GWQuote Reply
Off Topic Baseball Related Stuff:
So whatever happened with Jorge Soler. Did he decide not to sign with the Cubs? Were our reporters making up shit? Will we find out about it in 3 months?
WaLiQuote Reply
Ricketts to speak at SABR
here’s hoping that he resists jc bradbury’s “players never get old” schtick as well as mgl’s recent “I’ve completely lost my mind” take on berri’s draft paper.
GWQuote Reply
@ Rice Cube:
I like how on a blog that features the forestgif and other examples of ribaldry, my suggestion of Kate Upton performing lewd acts on my anatomy is what crosses the line. Here’s to you, gents.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
@ Rice Cube:
Subtley is the key to humor here. Like the Forest Gif.
GBTSQuote Reply
@ GBTS:
I note that well-placed sarcasm and non sequiturs work as well.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
Rice Cube wrote:
It’s not Kate, it’s not the lewd acts. It’s your anatomy (dying laughing)
WenningtonsGorillaCockQuote Reply
@ WaLi:
Hardees/Carl Jrs is one of the nastiest places to eat in the world. Had a roommate in college whose favorite pastime was binging and purging monster burgers or whatever they were called then.
joshQuote Reply
@ WenningtonsGorillaCock:
There’s a bit of irony in the source of this statement (dying laughing)
Fair enough.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
@ Rice Cube:
Was the correct answer your duodenum? What do I win?
joshQuote Reply
Kate Upton has never been sexier. If she only had a cigarette bubbles would lose it
bubblesdachimpQuote Reply
MishQuote Reply
http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/3064008_460s.jpg
MishQuote Reply
Hmmm having some technical issues with the img tag…
MishQuote Reply
Kate Upton is a replacement level model
dylanjQuote Reply
@ josh:
Yeah I don’t think I have ever ate there. Are Carl’s Jr and Hardees the same? I don’t eat too much meat really so I avoid fast food places (dying laughing) They always intrigued me though because when most places (Subway) are saying “we are healthy, eat here!” Hardees is like “That healthy shit is nasty, eat our 1400 calorie burger”
WaLiQuote Reply
@ Mish:
I made the mistake of actually thinking that Batman and Robin would be a good movie and saw it in the theater with my brother. I thought the Bat-skates were the worst part, but no…even worse than the nipples and the Bat-crack on the suits was the fact that Batman had a fucking credit card with his name on it.
/cool story bro’d
Rice CubeQuote Reply
@ josh:
That would make Kate Upton a zombie…
Rice CubeQuote Reply
@ WaLi:
I think west of Iowa or so, Carl’s Jr. is Carl’s Jr., and on the east, it’s Hardee’s, but the star guy is the same and the food is the same.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
what happens if you combine the of abstract genius of will carroll’s color-coded injury system with the intense, high-level mathematics of phil roger’s plus-minus system of evaluating trades? this might be the Universal Theory that scientists have been searching for all these years.
ps – kate upton rules. for now.
EnricoPallazzoQuote Reply
@ EnricoPallazzo:
Is that like discovering the baseball equivalent of the Higgs boson?
Rice CubeQuote Reply
http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/03/01/the-players-are-not-happy-with-the-braun-decision/
BerseliusQuote Reply
Are we rebranding as a Kate Upton blog?
jtsunamiQuote Reply
AJ Burnett ———–> orbital fracture on right eye, out indefinitely
And people think the Cubs are cursed.
BerseliusQuote Reply
@ Rice Cube:
yes, if the higgs boson sucked at sportswriting
EnricoPallazzoQuote Reply
@ Berselius:
Obviously, this was the point of the bunting tournament. Now other teams want to emulate the fun and look what happens. Sveum is a genius.
WaLiQuote Reply
@ EnricoPallazzo:
I’m sure the God Particle can write better than most people who call themselves sportswriters.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
Calcaterra’s Twitter Q&A:
Rice CubeQuote Reply
Kate Upton eating a burger all sexy style ———————-> I’m OK with that.
GBTS calling me unhealthy ——————————> that’s cool
Just hangin’ on the Ave, chillin’ with the crew.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
For some reason I though Will Carroll looked like Rob Neyer. I must have mixed them up at some point.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
POW! Right in the kisser!
jtsunamiQuote Reply
@ Suburban kid:
I always thought he looked like Big Pun.
MishQuote Reply
Burnett kisses with his eye?
Suburban kidQuote Reply
I tried a bunch of different ways, I don’t know how to embed a Youtube video.
jtsunamiQuote Reply
@ jtsunami:
Ah, so it’s not just me. I think something in the comments code is screwed up and keeps deleting picture and Youtube links. Had the same issue this morning but just figured I was doing something wrong. Which happens quite often, actually.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
@ Rice Cube:
I think it’s something to do with the spam filter, or the server for those images rejecting hotlinking.
BerseliusQuote Reply
Test
I guess Cubs.com doesn’t like hotlinks either. Let’s try Lamebook.
Negative…looks like there’s an epic filter against external links.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
Yes I am having the same problem. How am I supposed to turn this into a weak-ass imitation of 4Chan without pics?
MishQuote Reply
test
BerseliusQuote Reply
@ Mish:
Try this one that’s hosted locally
http://obstructedview.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Sisko-facepalm.gif
BerseliusQuote Reply
If we cannot post externally, the Sisko facepalm pic will be the visual equivalent of the word “Smurf” in the Smurf language.
And even then, I cannot post the Sisko facepalm. Truly the berselius must have magical powers.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
@ jtsunami:
don’t give up, if it’s another kate upton pic. otherwise, i’m indifferent.
EnricoPallazzoQuote Reply
I think MB said the youtubes have to be in a certain URL format
Like the format they give you for sharing a video doesn’t work, i.e, http://youtu.be/qOhRE4wDK6w
I think this format with the “watch” bit will work by just pasting it in a comment:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOhRE4wDK6w
Suburban kidQuote Reply
Mish wrote:
It’s probably a health-related issue. I’m downgrading you to Yellow.
GBTSQuote Reply
Of course we need mother fucking filters. We have too many children on this mother fucking blog to not have fucking filters.
#thisisaboutmotherfuckingfilters
jtsunamiQuote Reply
jtsunami wrote:
So is this
BerseliusQuote Reply
@ Suburban kid:
Don’t try to guise your real age by embedding a YouTube video of a recent hip hop group the kids are listening to.
GBTSQuote Reply
Greatest Moment in Filter History:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5giXXW_UdaM
(dying laughing) @ the second comment.
GBTSQuote Reply
I was going to post a picture of a Brita filter but then I got reminded of Britta from Community, which returns in 2 weeks from today.
MishQuote Reply
Rice Cube wrote:
Just now getting around to reading every word. He’s doing better, RC. He’s been pretty high on phenobarbital since Saturday and we are cutting his dosage. The poor guy can barely walk to his food bowl without falling over. But his seizures have stopped now, so that’s good. He’s eating and drinking and seems content when he isn’t stumbling around like a drunken sailor. I think we can probably still say his status is red, though.
Aisle424Quote Reply
(dying laughing)
(dying laughing)
Aisle424Quote Reply
@ GBTS:
Since when is guise a verb?
Suburban kidQuote Reply
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nViC0K-zifk
Aisle424Quote Reply
GBTS wrote:
.
WenningtonsGorillaCockQuote Reply
@ Suburban kid:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/guise
GBTSQuote Reply
‘Twould appear I also am having issues posting images.
GBTSQuote Reply
GBTS wrote:
Indeed.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
@ GBTS:
This should prevent you from posting too many images. Keeping you at green as long as this reduction in image posting protects you from injury.
AndCountingQuote Reply
http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/03/01/brace-yourselves-for-another-drug-suspension-appeal/
(dying laughing)
Wrong house. That’s new.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
Rice Cube wrote:
/Yellon’d
BerseliusQuote Reply
The issue with posting images is a software problem. The other day we were hacked. The hacker was at least cute enough to begin to turn the backend of the site into the twitter busy page, which actually made me laugh. Well, not really since I had to figure the shit out, but thinking about it now it definitely makes me laugh. As I was trying to fix this, I reinstalled the WordPress files. As a result, the file I edited to allow you to post images was overwritten. I hadn’t thought about that. I’ll try to get to it later today.
mb21Quote Reply
This is what I’m brewing right now.
http://beeradvocate.com/im/beers/1093.jpg
WaLiQuote Reply
@ GBTS:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/guise
Doesn’t say anything about any verb.
You’ll note Merriam-Webster has been in the business of dictionaries for a few centuries, while dictionary.reference.com was founded in 2003 in someone’s mom’s basement.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
WaLi wrote:
This is what I’ll be drinking in 3 weeks:
Aisle424Quote Reply
@ Aisle424:
Well aren’t you fancy with your whiskey barrel and your pictures. /jealous
WaLiQuote Reply
@ WaLi:
Did you get a clone from Bell’s or somewhere else? We just brewed a Two Brothers Cane & Ebel clone that came out really good, got the recipe straight from the brewery.
Mercurial OutfielderQuote Reply
bubblesdachimp wrote:
You mean if she only spoke in the third person….
Rodrigo RamirezQuote Reply
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
It isn’t going to be an exact clone since the yeast isn’t from them, but the recipe is supposed to be similar.
WaLiQuote Reply
WaLi wrote:
It isn’t all fun and games. My wallet is too small for my fifties and my diamond shoes are too tight.
Aisle424Quote Reply
@ Suburban kid:
Guise – N – I went out last night with the guise in Boystown.
MishQuote Reply
Belated facepalm
http://obstructedview.net/chicago-cubs/daily-facepalm-3-1-12-expanded-playoffs-edition.html
BerseliusQuote Reply