The Cubs lost to the Astros 1-0 in what quite possibly could be the worst game of baseball ever played. Between the two teams there were ten hits, six errors, and one meager run. The only reason the otherwise merciless crapfest ended was because Starlin Castro couldn't outrun Dave Sappelt's stupidity, preventing Castro from scoring the tying run before Sappelt …
Daily Facepalm 9.8.2012
The Cubs beat the Pirates 12-2 for the irony alone, a day after declaring a five-run lead "piling on." But we've probably beat that dead horse enough. Play of the Day Brett "Ghost of Reed Johnson" Jackson didn't adjust his competitive settings to autopilot just because the Cubs had a ridiculous lead (die, dead horse, die more!). He went after …
Top Ten Formerly Unwritten Rules for Cubs
There has been much talk in recent nadirs on the Cubs' undulating saga of suck years about the unwritten rules of baseball. Don't steal when you're up by ten runs. Don't steal when you're down by ten runs. Don't swing at 3-0 pitches when you're up by five runs. So, since it's Friday and I haven't put up a daily …
Daily Facepalm, Literary Appreciation Edition – 9.5.2012
If a writer of prose knows enough about what he is writing about he may omit things that he knows, and the reader, if the writer is writing truly enough, will have a feeling of those things as strongly as though the writer had stated them. The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one-eighth of it …
Daily Facepalm – 9.4.2012
The Cubs lost to Walgreens in their special Labor Day uniforms, shocking the world yet again. With that defeat, the Cubs have now dropped 49 of their last 66 road games. Yeah. They have won a grand total of 17 road games all year. That's a road wining percntage of .WTF, despite a slightly lower Pythagorean winning percentage of .OMG. …
Daily Facepalm, Labor Day Miracle Edition
The Cubs lost to the Giants yesterday after Carlos Marmol toyed with a mixture of wildness and hittability to blow a ninth-inning tie. That's probably the nail in the coffin full of nails. Did Jorge Soler murder a baseball last night? Yes. Do the Cubs have a game today? Yes. Quote I didn't see coming. "I think the most progress …
Random Facepalm – 8.31.2012
Did the Cubs Shift Gears Yesterday? Yes. They won. Miscellaneous Of players with at least 80 Plate Appearances, Brett Jackson leads the Cubs in wRC+ (113). (h/t, mb21) He's also fifth on the current roster in batting WAR. For the season. He's played in 23 games. According to Fangraphs, Darwin Barney has been worth 11.6 runs defensively. Which is still …
Biannual Facepalm – 8.12.12
Superfriends, amalgamate! The Superfriends added a new member to the Hall of Justice this week, poaching Padres scouting director Jaron Madison for the same position with the Cubs. Fomer scouting director and draft boss Tim Wilken is being promoted to a special assistant to the GM, and the Cubs are working out a contract extension. Adolfo: Starlin Castro needs to …
Sunday Facepalm
Pike County officials raided a pair of meth labs on Friday night and Saturday morning. Five people from Indiana were arrested when police raided a meth lab. An anonymous tip led police to arrest this woman for making meth. They learned she had bought psuedo 19 times since November of 2010. These raids have created 3 new markets for Walter White and …
Fortnightly Facepalm: 6.3.12 Draft, Soler, Baez, Garza, Dempster
I guess there's something going on tomorrow? The MLB draft is tomorrow. The Cubs worked out possible first round picks Carlos Correa (SS) and Max Fried (P) earlier this week, and several draft evaluators are prognisticating that the Cubs will take high school OF Albert Almora. It's nice not having to worry about the Cubs picking another Tyler Colvin or …