All of you folks out there looking for some last-minute Christmas deals can just head on over to Cubs.com for the DEAL OF THE CENTURY!
Remember a couple of years ago when the Cubs started a Fantasy Camp and they were charging $7,500 for the experience, and nobody thought that was worth it, so they lowered the price to $3,000? Well, they’ve added a couple of things to their package and now charge $4,500 for it.
You may be asking yourself, “What exactly is different about this package, Tim?” or “Are you writing about this simply because we haven’t had a new post in a while?” Well, I’m glad you asked!
The Cubs have outlined why this Fantasy Camp experience is a must-buy:
- Full participation in all activities in the 2012 Wrigley Field Fantasy Camp
That’s great! Though I’m not sure why you have to include a specific bullet point that clarifies that you are purchasing participation in the Fantasy Camp when you purchase participation in the Fantasy Camp.
If the Cubs were in charge of marketing eggs:
This carton of a dozen eggs contains:
- Egg
- Egg
- Egg
- Egg
- Egg
- Egg
- Egg
- Egg
- Egg
- Egg
- Egg
- Egg
- Cardboard carton
Wally is really earning his money here.
- Two tickets per participant to the Budweiser Bleacher Suite for the Cubs vs. the Boston Red Sox on June 17, including food and beverages
The Cubs are adding in an extra ticket to the one they offered a couple of years ago and the game is higher profile (it was Cubs-Reds in 2010), but now they are making you sit out as far away from home plate as you can get without sitting on Al Yellon’s lap (that’s the deluxe package).
- One single or double hotel accommodations for two nights per order
- Round-trip transportation between the hotel and Wrigley Field
I suppose most people who participate would need a place to stay while they are in town, but I’d imagine there are more than a few local people who wish they could opt out of this since it probably tacked a few hundred onto the price. But you get to pretend you are a real ballplayer arriving on a team bus, so there’s that, I suppose.
- Camper-customized, authentic Cubs uniform (Choose home, road, or alternate based on availability. Uniform options »)
- Includes Cubs hat, socks, belt and matching jersey pants
- Personalized Under Armour warm-up gear and turf shoes also provided
Personalized underwear. This is what the Cubs are selling as a value-added feature. I really don’t need to say any more here, do I?
- All food and drink while at the ballpark
If you can scarf down 1,000 bison dogs while running around on the field trying to hit and catch a baseball, you can totally make your money back. I wonder if they let you keep playing if you puke on the field?
- Personalized one-day contract signed by Cubs Executives
You can get the Superfriends’ autograph! I bet Todd also signs them all in crayon.
- Photo and video keepsakes from the day
Evidence that you suck at baseball for you to keep and for your family to play back every time you bitch about how it isn’t hard to hit the ball out of the infield with a runner on third or that you could have totally made such an easy catch at the warning track. Sounds great!
- Autographs and photo opportunities with Cubs Legends and celebrities in attendance
If I spend $4,500 on a freaking Fantasy Camp, I better get some damn autographs. In fact, they better raise Santo from the dead so I can get my hands on a Santo HOF autograph.
- Invite guests to Wrigley to watch you take the field!
I imagine the park will be quiet enough for you to hear every smart-ass comment that your horrible playing will evoke from your friends and family. It may even get captured for posterity on the video keepsake you take home so you can re-live it over and over!
Are you sold yet? Are you already reaching for your wallet? Wait! Don’t answer!
What about if they sweetened the pot just a little more?
Order two or more roster spots together for just $4,250 per spot!
WOW! You’re going to knock a whole $250 off? That’s over 5.5% off each!
So hurry on over to Crazy Wally’s Wacky Wrigley Experience and Holiday 6-Pack Emporium for a deal you just can’t beat!
Comments
You know what? I suck at math and reading comprehension.
You get it for $4,250 per spot if you get 2 or more. So it SHOULD be, Buy One, Get One 11% Off
Aisle424Quote Reply
I’m thinking it’s the Rangers, too, though the Jays no doubt made a substantial bid.
ACTQuote Reply
Edited out the math/comprehension error.
Aisle424Quote Reply
I hope the Cubs come up with even more deals so you can reuse that tag.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
I really wish I had $4250 so I could eat 1000 bison dogs.
doc_blumeQuote Reply
[quote name=ACT]I’m thinking it’s the Rangers, too, though the Jays no doubt made a substantial bid.[/quote]
With what I’ve read, the Rangers were in the low 40s. Everybody seems to be jumping over there now that the Jays seem to be putting their mopey faces on.
I’m sticking with Theo.
Smokestack LightningQuote Reply
I can safely say that the last thing on earth I’d want to do is invite guests to watch this 37 year old adult take the field in a uniform for a team he doesn’t play on. (dying laughing)
mb21Quote Reply
How many guests does this include? Do they have to buy their own bison dogs?
Rice CubeQuote Reply
wally hayward is a fucking dufus.
wpbcQuote Reply
Also, are there numbers available for how many people actually did this last time they offered it?
How many leaps into the ivy-covered brick wall are covered? Do they have to sign a waiver absolving the Cubs of all injuries sustained trying to emulate Reed Johnson?
Rice CubeQuote Reply
PR:
http://twitter.com/#!/ChiTribRogers/status/148924725891051520
Smokestack LightningQuote Reply
http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2011/12/garza-marshall-drawing-trade-interest.html
firesale!
Recalcitrant Blogger NateQuote Reply
(dying laughing), Dan Knobler just said on twitter that the Jays are still in on Darvish because 30% of the clicks on the twitter link to his article came from Canada.
Done deal sealed.
BerseliusQuote Reply
BREAKING: the Cubs are still in in Darvish because most of the hits to this blog are from Chicago. White Sox could be a mystery team.
BerseliusQuote Reply
[quote name=Berselius]BREAKING: the Cubs are still in in Darvish because most of the hits to this blog are from Chicago. White Sox could be a mystery team.[/quote]
Ha, I’m from Colorado, so the Rockies are in, but “only as a smokescreen”, according to Joe Strauss.
Smokestack LightningQuote Reply
SF tonight:
Rice CubeQuote Reply
http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2011/12/cardinals-coco-crisp-discussing-deal.html
So I guess no Beltran then…
Smokestack LightningQuote Reply
Too many teams out there looking for pitchers for Cubs to not be able to move Garza and get something good. Seems like whoever loses out on Darvish will really want to get Garza then hopefully
Recalcitrant Blogger NateQuote Reply
[quote name=Smokestack Lightning]http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2011/12/cardinals-coco-crisp-discussing-deal.html
So I guess no Beltran then…[/quote]
I still want the Cubs to get Beltran
Recalcitrant Blogger NateQuote Reply
[quote name=Recalcitrant Blogger Nate]Too many teams out there looking for pitchers for Cubs to not be able to move Garza and get something good. Seems like whoever loses out on Darvish will really want to get Garza then hopefully[/quote]I think the Cubs can and will end up getting something nice in return for him. I was looking at his trade value again today from a slightly different perspective and basically, cut the Latos return in half and you got the expected return for Garza.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=Recalcitrant Blogger Nate]I still want the Cubs to get Beltran[/quote]
So do I.
Smokestack LightningQuote Reply
[quote name=Recalcitrant Blogger Nate]I still want the Cubs to get Beltran[/quote]He’d be cheaper, for sure.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
Here’s my rationale for why Epstein will get Darvish:
Darvish, posting fee, salary, prospects acquired by trading Garza>>>>> Garza and his 9M, 12MM salary for the next 2 years.
Cubs would backload a Darvish deal and not really even pay him any more than they had budgeted for Garzas salary this year, plus add prospects by dealing him. They have money to spend, I still expect them to spend it smartly.
Recalcitrant Blogger NateQuote Reply
[quote name=Recalcitrant Blogger Nate]Here’s my rationale for why Epstein will get Darvish:
Darvish, posting fee, salary, prospects acquired by trading Garza>>>>> Garza and his 9M, 12MM salary for the next 2 years.
Cubs would backload a Darvish deal and not really even pay him any more than they had budgeted for Garzas salary this year, plus add prospects by dealing him. They have money to spend, I still expect them to spend it smartly.[/quote]
Rice CubeQuote Reply
[quote name=mb21]I think the Cubs can and will end up getting something nice in return for him. I was looking at his trade value again today from a slightly different perspective and basically, cut the Latos return in half and you got the expected return for Garza.[/quote]
That would be good. I’d be happy with him straight up for Rizzo. Then sign Darvish, although I guess they may avoid that. I do expect them to throw shitloads at Cespedes and that other Cuban dude. Apparently they are frustrated with limits on intl. spending.
Recalcitrant Blogger NateQuote Reply
I’d be surprised if the Cubs even offer Cespedes anything.
mb21Quote Reply
If the Cubs really are that frustrated then the obvious answer is to sign Darvish. You can still take advantage of that system, but I just don’t think Theo thinks this team is that close to contending.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=Rice Cube]How many guests does this include? Do they have to buy their own bison dogs?[/quote]
They didn’t specify. My guess is guests have to buy their own food (or bring their own bologna sandwiches).
Aisle424Quote Reply
[quote name=mb21]I can safely say that the last thing on earth I’d want to do is invite guests to watch this 37 year old adult take the field in a uniform for a team he doesn’t play on. (dying laughing)[/quote]
I wonder if Ronnie Woo would get a discount since he doesn’t need a hotel room or a uniform, plus I doubt he has any friends that would come in with him.
Aisle424Quote Reply
http://www.beyondtheboxscore.com/2011/12/18/2644906/anthony-rizzo-and-the-padres-interest-in-matt-garza#storyjump
.
Recalcitrant Blogger NateQuote Reply
FUCK
http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2011/12/top-bidder-for-darvish-to-be-announced-tonight.html
Rice CubeQuote Reply
Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Darrrrvish. Yu Yu. Yu Yu.
GBTSQuote Reply
[quote name=GBTS]Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Darrrrvish. Yu Yu. Yu Yu.[/quote]You should make a full parody. Even though I shouldn’t tell you what to do.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
Rangers. I guess that takes them out of Garza derby, hopefully inserting the Blue Jays into it.
Recalcitrant Blogger NateQuote Reply
$57.1 million. Jesus.
ACTQuote Reply
It would be hilarious if the next highest bid was much, much lower.
ACTQuote Reply
$51.7 million. That’s less than a million higher than the Dice-K posting fee so that is kind of surprising.
mb21Quote Reply
Theory…Rangers now out of Fielder sweepstakes for sure, Blue Jays resurface as suitors.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
Wonder if the Cubs also dangle Garza in front of Toronto for their prospects now.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
[quote name=mb21]$51.7 million. That’s less than a million higher than the Dice-K posting fee so that is kind of surprising.[/quote]
Yeah that is. I expected the winning bid to blow the Dice K number out of the water.
Smokestack LightningQuote Reply
[quote name=Smokestack Lightning]Yeah that is. I expected the winning bid to blow the Dice K number out of the water.[/quote]My guess would have been right at about what it ended up being, but that was based only on Dice-K. I actually thought it would be closer to $60 million.
mb21Quote Reply
http://www.weei.com/sports/boston/this-just-in/21163821/cubs-hire-red-sox-scout-matt-dorey
It’s the Boston Show!
Aisle424Quote Reply
BTW, that is courtesy of a tweet from WEEI, retweeted by Brett at Bleacher Nation. No local beat writer has mentioned it yet.
Aisle424Quote Reply
[quote name=Gordon Edes]Sox and Cubs have agreed, according to MLB source, that Theo will not be allowed to hire anyone else from Red Sox for 3 years[/quote]
.
Aisle424Quote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424].[/quote]Wow.
What happened here?
Rice CubeQuote Reply
http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/rangers-nab-darvish-stay-forever-young/
I guess the Rangers know who their ninth starter is.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
.
Smokestack LightningQuote Reply
And from Andracki:
Probably the wisest move given the risk above and beyond what’s usual with the big names in free agency this year, but if this trend holds, watching an old man shit himself to death will make for more compelling viewing than what’s about to be trotted out there as the 2012 Cubs.
Smokestack LightningQuote Reply
[quote name=Smokestack Lightning]And from Andracki:
Probably the wisest move given the risk above and beyond what’s usual with the big names in free agency this year, but if this trend holds, watching an old man shit himself to death will make for more compelling viewing than what’s about to be trotted out there as the 2012 Cubs.[/quote]Pics or GTFO
Suburban kidQuote Reply
[quote name=Suburban kid]Tits or GTFO[/quote].
MishQuote Reply
[quote name=Smokestack Lightning]And from Andracki:
Probably the wisest move given the risk above and beyond what’s usual with the big names in free agency this year, but if this trend holds, watching an old man shit himself to death will make for more compelling viewing than what’s about to be trotted out there as the 2012 Cubs.[/quote]This is what they’ve been hinting at, though. I don’t think they’re going to firesale from a place of desperation, or anything, but I don’t think we’re going to see more than incremental improvements. We’re definitely in a long-range rebuilding. Now’s a good time to find a backup team to root for for the next couple of seasons.
joshQuote Reply
[quote name=josh]This is what they’ve been hinting at, though. I don’t think they’re going to firesale from a place of desperation, or anything, but I don’t think we’re going to see more than incremental improvements. We’re definitely in a long-range rebuilding. Now’s a good time to find a backup team to root for for the next couple of seasons.[/quote]
Toronto
Recalcitrant Blogger NateQuote Reply
It’s so much fun to follow a team that has a plan to win and will do anything to execute that plan.
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
[quote name=Dr. Aneus Taint]It’s so much fun to follow a team that has a plan to win and will do anything to execute that plan.[/quote]If the Rangers can get Fielder they’re a damn good team.
mb21Quote Reply
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
[quote name=mb21]If the Rangers can get Fielder they’re a damn good team.[/quote]
Yeah, they might be pretty good.
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
[quote name=Dr. Aneus Taint]Yeah, they might be pretty good.[/quote]Unlike the Cubs, who are going to fucking suck.
WaLiQuote Reply
[quote name=Recalcitrant Blogger Nate]Toronto[/quote]
I’m going with SF, although they might suck too. At least the pitching will be good, theoretically.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
Prince Fielder in a commercial in 1992:
http://www.natsenquirer.com/2011/12/prince-fielder-in-washington-nationals-1992-mcdonalds.html
MishQuote Reply
Anyone watch Dexter/Homeland finales? Both pretty much sucked for the most part I thought.
The last minute of Dexter was okay..
But I was pretty disappointed with the ending of Homeland.
WaLiQuote Reply
I liked the ending of Dexter a lot. The show needed to do something and I’m interested in seeing how it’s going to work out now.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=mb21]I liked the ending of Dexter a lot. The show needed to do something and I’m interested in seeing how it’s going to work out now.[/quote]Yeah it was pretty much exactly what you said needed to happen. The rest of the episode was kind of meh.
WaLiQuote Reply
[quote name=Dr. Aneus Taint]
[/quote]Is that Dennis Hopper from “Speed”?
Rice CubeQuote Reply
[quote name=Mish]Tits or GTFO[/quote]
Suburban kidQuote Reply
new shit: http://obstructedview.net/chicago-cubs/articles/talent-is-a-combination-of-skills.html
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=Dr. Aneus Taint]It’s so much fun to follow a team that has a plan to win and will do anything to execute that plan.[/quote]My biggest problem with the Rangers is Texas. Also, I don’t trust Ian Kinsler. He looks like he’s up to something.
joshQuote Reply