Apparently you can't do anything at all once you sign a contract with the Cubs.
Take, for example, section C(2) of the Cubs' guarantee language. It says the Cubs may convert a player's contract "If Player is injured in any Prohibited Activity."
The prohibited activities are as follows:
"(A)uto racing, motorcycling, piloting, co-piloting, learning to operate, or serving as a crew member of, an aircraft, being a passenger in a single engine airplane or private plane, hot air ballooning, parachuting, skydiving, hang gliding, bungee jumping, horseback riding, horse racing, harness racing, fencing, boxing, wrestling, karate, judo, jujitsu, any other form of martial arts activity, use of an All Terrain Vehicle (‘ATV'), skiing (water or snow), snowmobiling, bobsledding, luging, ice hockey, ice boating, field hockey, squash, spelunking, basketball, football, softball, white water canoeing or rafting, kayaking, jai-alai, lacrosse, soccer, tennis, rodeo, bicycle racing, motor boat racing, polo, rugby, rodeo, handball, volleyball, in-line or other roller skating, surfing, hunting, paddleball, racquetball, archery, wood chopping, mountain climbing, boating, any weightlifting not prescribed by or approved in advance by Club (said approval not to be unreasonably withheld), participation in the ‘Superteams' or ‘Superstars' activities (or any like activity) or other made-for-television or made-for-motion picture athletic competitions, or any other sport, activity, or negligent act involving a reasonably foreseeable substantial risk of personal injury or death."
Jesus. Can they even masturbate?
Comments
Morneau —————> Pirates
Suburban kidQuote Reply
Suburban kid wrote:
Minneapolis sports radio ——> hilarious
sitrickQuote Reply
Hilarious ——————–> Rizzo
Suburban kidQuote Reply
Sveumy likes to say bullshit a lot
Suburban kidQuote Reply
@ Suburban kid:
Yeah what just happened there
WaLiQuote Reply
Just finished Orange is the New Black. Great show! Crazy ending.
WaLiQuote Reply
Castro is having a good series.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
@ Suburban kid:
I hope he had the approval of the Club to do so.
AndCountingQuote Reply
@ AndCounting:
I hope you have the approval to comment here. I assumed you were permanently banned.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
@ Suburban kid:
I was let go for injuring my blogging hand whilst masturbating.
AndCountingQuote Reply
@ AndCounting:
So how about that Samardzija trade at the deadline…..oh wait.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
@ Suburban kid:
(dying laughing)
sitrickQuote Reply
@ WaLi:
There was a bullshit strike call on a 3-1 pitch that had been called a ball on 2-1. Sveum just kept shouting obscenities at the ump from the dugout and the ump just stood there are took it. I think he realized he made a fucking bullshit call.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
Ouch, Iowa fans. At least you have the rest of the Cubs season to look forward to.
BerseliusQuote Reply
WaLi wrote:
Yeah, didn’t see that ending coming. Very good season of tv. Looking forward to season 2.
dmick89Quote Reply
@ Berselius:
I figured they’d lose.
dmick89Quote Reply
@ dmick89:
Wisconsin actually covering their 40+ point spread pleasantly surprised me. Bielema’s teams always won games like this by 10-12.
BerseliusQuote Reply
@ AndCounting:
(dying laughing)
dmick89Quote Reply
I’m surprised there’s no language in the contract for falling into dumpsters
WaLiQuote Reply
@ Suburban kid:
For the record, my “all my money on the line” prediction was that Soriano would be traded. I’m not not proud of that.
AndCountingQuote Reply
@ WaLi:
I’m surprised they’re allowed to go outside.
dmick89Quote Reply
@ dmick89:
It’s so odd how specific it is. No handball. No polo. No volleyball. No squash. No tennis. But badminton? You can play that shit all day. I think table tennis is cool, too. It’s like a group of lawyers were sitting over lunch listing all the things you could possibly do for fun and maybe get hurt, but then they just ran out of gas once they got to weight lifting on the side.
AndCountingQuote Reply
@ AndCounting:
If I had an offer that came close that allowed me to have fun away from work, I’d take it. This is silly and the mlbpa should have issues with it.
I’m surprised gaming isn’t on there. Ditto for using your smartphone too much. I’d be afraid to go to dinner and a movie of I was a Cubs player.
dmick89Quote Reply
@ dmick89:
Carlos Zambrano’s contract would have been voided for his Internet exploits. @ dmick89:
AndCountingQuote Reply
Too bad for Cubs players that Hunger Games was made into a movie.
dmick89Quote Reply
You know, a list detailing the things players could do would have been shorter.
dmick89Quote Reply
Michael Young —> Dodgers
Rice CubeQuote Reply
@ AndCounting:
That’s right. I thought some player had an issue with gaming or something, but couldn’t remember who.
dmick89Quote Reply
@ AndCounting:
Yeah it is strange. Jai Alai? Who the heck plays that? All it should say is “if you get hurt outside of work we have a right to convert contract”. What does convert contract mean anyways, void it?
I would think this would be avoided with most players unless they are severely underperforming. If Rizzo breaks a leg while parachuting out of a private plane (where he was a crew member) into a rodeo, would the Cubs “convert” his contract?
WaLiQuote Reply
If “baseball” was in their prohibited activity, it would explain a lot.
GBTSQuote Reply
At least they can play baseketball.
dmick89Quote Reply
Doesn’t say anything about Aussie rules…
Suburban kidQuote Reply
@ Suburban kid:
I was wondering if they could play pesapallo or rounders on the side. I’m sure there are as many MLB players playing pesapallo and rounders as there are out there fencing.
I like how rodeo is on there twice. They’re really serious about that one. The others? Not that big of a deal. Rodeo? Fuck that shit. You’re gone if you do that.
dmick89Quote Reply
New Shit: http://obstructedview.net/minor-leagues/jot-cubs-minor-league-recap-8-31-13.html
sitrickQuote Reply