Daily Facepalm 2-8-2012: Numerology

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Campana's Number 1!

With Fukudome now saving face in free agency, Tony Campana has claimed the number 1 spot in the jersey lottery. Still think he should be wearing 5/8, but whatevs. In other numerical reassignments, Matt Garza has changed from 17 to 22, apparently to match the regularly changing arbitration numbers that have since been rendered moot. And Jason Jaramillo will try to earn his dinner wearing Carlos Zambrano's old 38. Isn't this exciting?

Photographic Evidence of Baseball

Tim Sheridan is the Cubs sprint training P.A. announcer, and he posts regularly over at Boys of Spring. He usually gets plenty of good shots of mediocre players, and the images of spring training have already started to pour in as players show up to camp early. David DeJesus,Josh Vitters, Jeff Samardzija, Darwin Barney, and all their scrappy friends have begun working out and are, by the looks of it, in the best shape of their lives. Here's a shot of Kim DeJesus's husband:

Is There a Cubs Game Today?

Nope.

Tweettastic

Link I recently enjoyed

Not to get all political, but . . . 

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  3. Aisle424

    Tony Campana has claimed the number 1 spot in the jersey lottery. Still think he should be wearing 5/8, but whatevs.

    (dying laughing)
    (dying laughing)

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  5. Berselius

    Aisle424 wrote:

    Berselius wrote:
    THE POLITICAL TALK WILL STOP NOW

    Really, this seems unnecessary. Don’t you have your own blog to raise objections to political talk?

    Truly, indeed, a sad life you must lead.

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  7. Aisle424

    Berselius wrote:

    Aisle424 wrote:

    Berselius wrote:
    THE POLITICAL TALK WILL STOP NOW

    Really, this seems unnecessary. Don’t you have your own blog to raise objections to political talk?

    Truly, indeed, a sad life you must lead.

    Amusing, but wrong.

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  11. Aisle424

    Rice Cube wrote:

    @ Aisle424:
    Someone should write a Yellon FAQ to keep track of all these.

    I’ve thought of that, but I can’t remember where half of the Yellonisms originated.

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  24. mb21

    Worst thing every done
    You’re outta here
    Wrong
    You and I don’t often agree

    My favorite Al comment of all time was when he said all Negro League players should be removed from the Hall of Fame until Buck O’Neil was inducted. (dying laughing) yeah, that will go over really well. Just take out all the blacks. Nobody will notice.

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  27. fang2415

    (dying laughing)

    I am incapable of not giving faget points to making fun of Alvin. The man was just born to be made fun of.

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  44. Aisle424

    I think anyone can nominate a blog. I think it’s kind of lame to nominate oneself, but I’m not above telling everyone here to go over and nominate the shit out of us.

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  46. fang2415

    I just tried quoting B’s test above and got nothing in the blockquote except “gory “. Then I tried it again and got nothing in it again.

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  49. Author
    AndCounting

    Aisle424 wrote:

    I think anyone can nominate a blog. I think it’s kind of lame to nominate oneself, but I’m not above telling everyone here to go over and nominate the shit out of us.

    Nominate all you want, people. The shit will abide, I promise.

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  50. mb21

    @ josh:
    I logged in my other account and it didn’t copy any of the text. It must be a role issue, but I don’t know where to go to even begin. I’ve noticed most people just use the reply button anyway.

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  52. Mucker

    You used to be a valuable poster…..
    You seem to only come around to start trouble…..
    I can’t argue with you today……
    Shut him right up……..
    You have been banned from Bleed Cubbie Blue. I think this one’s his favorite. (dying laughing)

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  55. fang2415

    @ Mucker:
    You’ve been warned. I know exactly who you are.

    @ mb21:
    Yeah, I think I use quote more than other people. Partly because when people hit reply I have no clue what they’re replying to. (I know it links back to the parent, but I’m too lazy to do anything. Ever. (dying laughing))

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  57. Berselius

    Aisle424 wrote:

    Could Jon Heyman be more condescending?

    Well, he didn’t also suggest that Hamilton needs to add a clause in his contract that he should wear stigmata under his cap to further remind him of what he has done, not to mention paying the Rangers for the privilege of playing baseball.

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  59. fang2415

    @ Aisle424:
    Hamilton really owes all of us something to compensate us for what we’ve had to endure because of his tiny hint of a relapse into the hardest thing he’s ever had to deal with in his life. I think he should take out the garbage every day for everybody in America for one year, minimum.

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  62. dylanj

    Hamilton didnt go off on a bender, he had some beer and called a friend to hang with him and then reported himself. Thats not a fucking bender. What a dick.

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  63. Berselius

    It would be hilarious if Hamilton took Heyman’s comments to heart and gave a discount to the team that “saved” him by taking his talents to Cincinnati (dying laughing)

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  66. Berselius

    josh wrote:

    I guess that’s for Lucchino to decides. Seems like he’s been the one holding things up. But I guess really, Bud’s word is law at this point.

    We haven’t heard anything. It’s possible that Selig is lost in the UW Humanities building. Or more likely, spent too much time in there and hung himself in his office out of sheer architectural despair

    http://host.madison.com/wsj/news/local/selig-to-retire-to-madison-to-write-memoirs-on-uw/article_ab1e31a0-f9f1-11e0-983d-001cc4c002e0.html

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  68. Berselius

    josh wrote:

    @ Berselius:
    That bad? I didn’t know it could be worse than UIC’s Psychology building.

    From what I remember visiting UIC’s campus, it’s the same hideous Brutalist architectural style. It was built with poured concrete and despair.

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  70. josh

    The concept at UIC is “NATURAL LIGHT IS EVIL.” The Psychology building is built to give you claustrophobia, literally. The architect was an agoraphobic or something. At least, that’s the official story.

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  74. Rice Cube

    Since we’re talking about terrible university buildings, the math building, Evans Hall, at Berkeley is usually a fun one. At least once every year someone throws themselves off the building. I’ve walked by two body bags on my way to lab during my undergrad there. That building is depressing, but I feel bad for the kids who felt the need to just off themselves…math and life isn’t THAT bad that you have to resort to that.

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  75. Berselius

    Rice Cube wrote:

    Since we’re talking about terrible university buildings, the math building, Evans Hall, at Berkeley is usually a fun one. At least once every year someone throws themselves off the building. I’ve walked by two body bags on my way to lab during my undergrad there. That building is depressing, but I feel bad for the kids who felt the need to just off themselves…math and life isn’t THAT bad that you have to resort to that.

    I don’t recall hearing that it was a problem like that at UW, but they did seal off the windows on the top floor at the UW math building around 10 years ago. It’s pretty impossible to get out of them anyway.

    The dept administrator was super pissed that they didn’t clean the windows before sealing them, now all the windows up on the 9th floor lounge (which has an INCREDIBLE view) are all dirty and can’t be cleaned.

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  76. josh

    @ Berselius:
    Yeah, the UIC math building had those narrow windows. They didn’t look to me like they had ever been able to open. They were crusted with accumulated minerals from condensation, I would guess. Hard to see out of them anyway. I hated that place.

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  77. Mish

    Calcaterra quoting Law on the White Sox farm system:

    His rankings are behind the ESPN.com paywall, so you’ll have to pony up to read them and his team-by-team analysis in full, but Law also has the White Sox dead last and says Chicago “is not particularly close to No. 29, either.” And that’s after general manager Ken Williams did a mini-rebuild by trading away Sergio Santos and Carlos Quentin.

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  80. Berselius

    Rice Cube wrote:

    @ Berselius:
    Why don’t they just have the window washer dudes repel down from the roof and clean them? (dying laughing)

    It’s on the inside of the glass. They sealed the old windows by putting another pane of glass over them, so the dirt etc is trapped between the two sheets of glass.

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  82. josh

    @ Rice Cube:
    I think at UIC it’s also two-paned and the inside is what’s dirty, I think. Also, it’s plexiglas. I don’t know, maybe it can’t be cleaned and is actually etched? Who knows. UIC always seemed like kind of a shit hole to me. As I said, I didn’t enjoy my time there.

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  84. josh

    @ Rice Cube:
    I thought you were at UC, right? I dont’ think UIC has any lake views. Anyway, I was up pretty high (I can’t remember now, but at least the 9th floor — one of the floors without a toilet) and I could see Taylor street and a parking lot, and cars, when I wasn’t too depressed to get out of my desk and actually look out the window.

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  86. Aisle424

    Rice Cube wrote:

    @ josh:
    Yup, U of C. We’re in tallest building in the hospital/biosciences area and thus have unobstructed views all around.

    This should have been an Unobstructed View.

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  91. mb21

    I posted this on Bleacher Nation:

    I don’t understand how Rizzo could possibly be higher than Jackson. First, as you mentioned, he’s lower in the top 100 and rightfully so. Jackson plays a premium defensive position while Rizzo is at the other end of the spectrum. Jackson, if his defensive skills decline, could move to LF/RF. When they decline later on in his career he can move to 1st base and then DH. Rizzo, though, would move to DH. Each have similar career OPS’s in the minors. Rizzo is younger so give him the advantage at the plate. Not much of one, but some. Yet despite that, all of the projections have Jackson projected as the better hitter.

    If we get into a WAR projection the difference becomes huge. I recently took a look at this. If Jackson had a .325 wOBA (league average) Rizzo would need about a .350 wOBA just to have a similar WAR as Jackson. There’s no reason to think he’s that much better a hitter and in fact he may be worse.

    To me, this is an example of where scouts and prospect rankings go wrong. They’re comparing the two as if they play the same position. They’d never do this with pitchers. Imagine two 3.0 ERA pitchers. One of them is a starter and the other a reliever. Obviously the starter will be ranked much higher. They understand the difference between positions when it comes to pitching, but still don’t understand it when it comes to position players.

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  97. Mucker

    Berselius wrote:

    @ mb21:
    FWIW, maybe they’re factoring in the possibility that BJax moves off of CF.

    How does BJax grade as a CF? Is a move to corner outfield likely?

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  98. Berselius

    Mucker wrote:

    Berselius wrote:
    @ mb21:
    FWIW, maybe they’re factoring in the possibility that BJax moves off of CF.
    How does BJax grade as a CF? Is a move to corner outfield likely?

    There was some talk about it going into 2011, and the Cubs played him at corner spots for a nontrivial number of innings in 2010 (though supposedly it was just to get Guyer more time in CF)

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  99. Berselius

    From what I remember he’s just an average CF, which is nothing to sneeze at, but it’s not like he’s Jacoby Ellsbury out there.

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  104. mb21

    From Baseball America on Jackson:

    Scouting Report: With solid to above-average tools across the board, as well as the ability to stay in center field, Jackson is a potential all-star. His power stands out the most, as he has the bat speed, loft and strength to drive balls out of the park to all fields. He has become much more selective at the plate than he was in college, waiting for pitches he can punish and taking walks when pitchers won’t challenge him. Chicago would like to see him get a little more aggressive and attack more often early in the count. He’s not a pure hitter, but he does have a compact swing and doesn’t get himself out by chasing pitches out of the zone. Some scouts think Jackson’s stroke can get too mechanical and believe he swings and misses too much to hit much better than .260 or .270. He pulls off pitches at times, and his strikeout rate spiked to a career-high 30 percent in Triple-A. Jackson isn’t a blazer, but he has plus speed that enables him to get the job done on the bases and in the outfield. He knows when to pick his spots as a basestealer, succeeding at a 76 percent rate in the minors. Likewise, he gets good jumps and takes nice routes in the outfield. He has played all three outfield positions in pro ball, and his average, accurate arm is enough for right field if he eventually moves to a corner. His steady demeanor and work ethic are assets that have rubbed off on his teammates, such as 2007 first-round pick Josh Vitters.

    I don’t think he’ll be moving to a corner spot anytime soon.

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  105. fang2415

    From Cameron’s chat:

    12:02 Comment From Nick
    You mentioned that the Fielder signing was going to “cripple the long-term health” of the Tigers. How often do we really see a bad contract do that? The Giants managed to win a WS and be competitive despite Zito (and Rowand), and the Astros probably would have been terrible regardless of Lee.

    12:03
    The Cubs say hello.

    (dying laughing)

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  108. Mish

    Yeah I’m with b on the Cameron thing. While the big contracts are albatrosses, it gave the Cubs 3 years of essentially being the best team in the Central. The bigger problem was after the 09 season with the lack of awareness of that window closing on them and not trying to retool the roster.

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  109. mb21

    @ Mish:
    THIS.

    We said it at the time, but they had to do something after the 2009 season. Either add a bit of payroll for a few years or sell some of the high priced players and get younger. They could be contending by now. They chose neither plan.

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  111. Aisle424

    I think they knew damn well that the window was closing/closed, but nobody had the balls to pick a plan. Hendry was still trying to complete a Hail Mary on a limited budget to save his job. Ricketts wasn’t about to sink millions more into payroll with all of that debt looking him in the face (and a shitty economy on top of it). Why they didn’t use their belief that ticket sales were recession proof as a shield to pare down and start over is beyond me. I’m guessing they believed it enough to treat the customers like shit, but not enough to put their actual revenue on the line with a bold plan.

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  112. SkipVB

    @ josh:
    Sheesh, this IS ugly. Maybe the worst campus building I’ve ever seen. Certainly beats ours with the sagging ceiling tiles and the fans that squeak squeak squeak all through class.

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  115. josh

    @ SkipVB:
    The building’s old inside. I really don’t know what the ceiling fans are like, but the building is so difficult to navigate, they had to add signs, and even those are confusing. Plus there’s almost no natural light. Maybe you have to experience it to understand.

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  116. SkipVB

    If you are -1.5 writer above replacement at AA, does that put you above, or below, the ultra-entitled no-talent prep-school newspaper reporter with the marching band beat?

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  117. Berselius

    mb21 wrote:

    @ Mish:
    THIS.
    We said it at the time, but they had to do something after the 2009 season. Either add a bit of payroll for a few years or sell some of the high priced players and get younger. They could be contending by now. They chose neither plan.

    I was beating this dead horse over at LOHO this morning. The Soriano contract was going to be a net negative over the course of the deal but it met the objectives that Hendry’s corporate masters were looking for (i.e. win something and inflate the sale value while he’s good), and the whole McDonough thing etc. etc. That doesn’t excuse the deal or mean the money couldn’t have been better spent, but it’s some perspective at least. I think Hendry was an okay GM at the big league level but my big problem with the Hendry regime was the years of shitty drafts and shitty player development. Well, that and his impossible dream of fielding a team of entirely 2b (dying laughing).

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  118. SkipVB

    @ josh:
    Thanks Josh, but I have enough pain in my life now than to add to it with a trip down Behavioral Sciences hallways, plus I’m sure the pain will only guess worse beginning about day 3 of baseball season, when the luster of the new season wears off with Soriano’s second missed catch in LF.

    (dying laughing) or crying?

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  122. mb21

    @ Berselius:
    Yeah, I don’t think Hendry was a bad GM either. He was just around so long and shit didn’t go well so we remember all the bad things. I think we’d be looking at his tenure differently if Prior and Wood had stayed healthy. Or if they’d gotten the final 5 outs in the 2003 LCS. Or just imagine if they’d won the WS or another year. They’d have been contending from 2003 through 2009 and probably even after that if Wood and Prior stay healthy.

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  123. Berselius

    @ Pezcore:

    It’s the White Sox. The Cubs were #20.

    It’s a huge gap from the White Sox to whoever is #29. KG pointed out earlier today that the White Sox traded away Santos and Quentin to restock their system and they’re still dead last by far.

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