Paul Sullivan Has A Problem, Pt. ∞

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On April 30th, a scant 13 days after an 8 IP, 0 ER, 1 BB, 10K appearance by Carlos Zambrano, Paul Sullivan wrote that Garza was the first Cub to go eight innings that year. We mocked it, but thought nothing of it. Unfortunately, we were asleep on the watch.

Last week, Zambrano again took the mound to great success, but made the mistake of snapping a bat over his knee. Unfortunately, Marmol came in and surrendered more runs than the 1927 Yankees scored, and Z took the ND. Not only did Sullivan allow the bat-breaking to dominate his column, Sullivan systematically went to manager for comment, then to Z, in a move obviously designed to instigate trouble. Luckily, both Z and Quade are adults, which makes them unlike Sullivan, both in terms of height and bearing.  It was passed over, despite Sullivan’s pissing and moaning.

Then, last night, Zambrano again pitched a gem, only to watch it go down the tube thanks to Marmol.  And Z had had enough, and did what team leaders do.

He aired out the motherfuckers he felt weren’t pulling their weight. And here’s what he said:

“The problem wasn’t Pujols,” Zambrano said. ” The problem was the previous at-bat. We should know better than this. We played like a Triple-A team. This is embarrassing, embarrassing for the team, for the owners, for the fans. Embarrassing. That’s the word for this team. We should know better than this, we should know better than we did on the field. We should know that Ryan Theriot is not a good fastball hitter. We should know that as a team. We should play better here. We stink. That’s all I’ve got to say.”

Note the use of the royal “we.” Because Sullivan didn’t.  He immediately went on a Twitter rampage, saying Z threw his mates under the bus, etc.  He then pumped out a column faster than ever, using the lede that Z may have finally run himself out of town.

Because that’s what players do in Chicago. They run themselves out of town. By writing newspaper columns with ad hoc narratives that magnifiy their negative character traits and use them in service of the prejudices of the smarmy dwarf that pens them.

In a brilliant stroke of fate, Sullivan’s machinations blew up right in his puffy, pube-bearded face.  The comments on the online newspaper articles were overwhelmingly in favor of Z taking a stand. The bloggers, even Sullivan’s professed GOOD FRIENDS and, Heaven forfend, Al Yellon, came out in support of Z.  And then it became very apparent what was going on.

One pasty, impotent, half-grown schmuck had been twisting the entire situation to suit his purposes. And he wasn’t done. Not content to spew his particular brand of ignorant bile in print, Sullivan went on TV.  Confronted with the video proof that his in-print allegations of a “rant” and “tirade” by a “screaming” Zambrano were outright lies, what did this puny pundit say?

“The best part of that, I hadn’t seen the clip until right now and like right at the very end, when he’s looking over at Marmol’s locker to make sure that he’s listening and Marmol wasn’t there, obviously. But, he was really shouting at that point in the clubhouse, so that everyone could hear him. And, uh, It was quite a performance. Uh, Z, I mean, uh, you really outdid yourself buddy, good one. “

Confronted with the video proof that what he put in print was a lie, Sullivan not only stuck by his mendacities, he asserted them yet again. 

Look, we’ve extensively catalogued Sullivan’s long train of lies, half-truths, and unprofessionalism. And for that effort, today we feel vindicated.

But not by the fans, who’ve finally realized what Sullivan is up to.

And not by Zambrano, who just continues to roast Sullivan’s doughy hobbit ass.

No, we feel vindicated by Sullivan himself, who, when given the chance to tell the truth, refused, and in refusing to do so proved what we’ve been saying all along: Paul Sullivan is a biased hack who lacks even a shred of journalistic credibility, and who will leave no depth unplmbed in service of the skewed narratives he constructs.

We’ve said it once, and we’ll say it again: between Paul Sullivan and Carlos Zambrano, one them is a solid, decent human being who is good at his job.

And the other one is morally bankrupt fuckwit-for-hire Paul Sullivan.


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Comments

  1. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=mb21]Wow. Sullivan was shown footage of what happened and still said he was yelling? (dying laughing)[/quote]Yep. I’ve linked the video, so anyone can see that Sullivan is just plain lying.

    He is a craven, lying sack of shit.

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  2. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=Rice Cube]What’s wrong with Fukudome?[/quote]Morrissey seems to think he’s overpaid.

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  3. Dr. Aneus Taint

    Confronted with the video proof that his in-print allegations of a “rant” and “tirade” by a “screaming” Zambrano were outright lies, what did this puny pundit say?

    Your video “proof” is just a couple of guys talking about gas and utility prices.

    FAIL

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  4. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Morrissey seems to think he’s overpaid.[/quote]
    Pot calls kettle black.

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  5. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=Jame Gumb]Your video “proof” is just a couple of guys talking about gas and utility prices.

    FAIL[/quote]FLAGGED

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  6. Dr. Aneus Taint

    (?php
    $value[‘mb21’] = “faget”;
    $value[‘MO”] = “major faget”;
    $value[‘Mish’] = “super faget”;

    echo “MO is a ” . $value[‘MO’] . ;
    ?)

    .

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  7. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=Jame Gumb](?php
    $value[‘mb21’] = “faget”;
    $value[‘MO”] = “major faget”;
    $value[‘Mish’] = “super faget”;

    echo “MO is a ” . $value[‘MO’] . ;
    ?)

    .[/quote]This is the worst thing to every happen on this blog.

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  8. Dr. Aneus Taint

    Josh Bell (back off!), Dillon Howard, Austin Hedges, Anthony Meo, Daniel Norris and Josh Osich are the big names left.

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  9. Dr. Aneus Taint

    [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]This is the worst thing to every happen on this blog.[/quote]
    Just wait until it’s implemented.

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  10. Dr. Aneus Taint

    [quote name=jtsunami]Sullivan and Ari Kaplan should get married. Mariotti can be the ring bearer.[/quote]
    I want you to know that I’m happy for you. I wish nothing but the best for you both.

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  11. Dr. Aneus Taint

    Steve Carter: Hayden Simpson, and after learning more about how Tim Wilkin (Cubs SD) operates, it wasn’t surprising. He swore after missing out on Tom Gordon that he’d never miss out again on a guy, if given the opp to pop him. They felt the Angels were hot on him and had several picks in between the Cubs slot and their next one.

    There you go.

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  12. Dr. Aneus Taint

    Oh yeah, and add Alex Meyer (whom some think has the highest upside in this class) to the list of WAS gets.

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  13. wrigleyville

    Fixed:

    We’ve said it once, and we’ll say it again: between Paul Sullivan and Carlos Zambrano, one them is a solid, decent human being who is good at his job.

    And the other one is morally bankrupt fuckwit-for-hire Paul Sullivan.

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  14. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=wrigleyville]Fixed:

    We’ve said it once, and we’ll say it again: between Paul Sullivan and Carlos Zambrano, one them is a solid, decent human being who is good at his job.

    And the other one is morally bankrupt fuckwit-for-hire Paul Sullivan.[/quote]I liked it the way it was.

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  15. wrigleyville

    [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]I liked it the way it was.[/quote]my version is pithier.

    when in rome.

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  16. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=wrigleyville]my version is pithier.

    when in rome.[/quote]Cartago delenda est

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  17. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=melissa]Hilarious. Good luck with your blog.[/quote]Nice snark.

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  18. Xoomwaffle

    [quote name=Jame Gumb]Oh yeah, and add Alex Meyer (whom some think has the highest upside in this class) to the list of WAS gets.[/quote]
    Do you know where Mike McGee (two-way player for FSU) projects? I haven’t been able to find a round put on him anywhere.

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  19. Dr. Aneus Taint

    [quote name=Xoomwaffle]Do you know where Mike McGee (two-way player for FSU) projects? I haven’t been able to find a round put on him anywhere.[/quote]
    Not sure, but I’d expect CHC to take a chance on him today.

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  20. Dr. Aneus Taint

    BA’s Top 50 players that are still available:

    No. 15. Josh Bell, of (back off)
    No. 16. Daniel Norris, lhp
    No. 28. Austin Hedges, c
    No. 30 Andrew Susac, c
    No. 31 Dillon Howard, rhp
    No. 32 Matt Purke, lhp
    No. 39 Jorge Lopez, rhp
    No. 41 Josh Osich, lhp
    No. 42 Alex Dickerson, of
    No. 46 Dillon Maples, rhp
    No. 50 Tony Zych, rhp

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  21. Mish

    I was hoping the Rays would have grabbed Norris – really, after the first 2 picks and I kinda like Goeddel, but the rest of them were very underwhelming, especially after the talk of sparing no expense on the draft. Wouldn’t mind them adding Hedges or Osich if they can, too.

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