Well that sucked. I’m not even jazzed enough to joke about this being the real Cubs home opener. The Brewers have gotten off to a hot start, full of dramatic walk off hits/catches and all the other fun things that the 2016 Cubs seemed to have from the get go.
The Cubs meanwhile have gone from a team that certain morons predicted would match their win total from last year to speculation that the manager might be fired before the end of April. Those were some pretty shitty conditions out there, and after the bullpen eventually shit the bed in the pouring rain, you’d think Joe would go out there to defend his players against playing in those conditions. Edwards couldn’t throw a strike, but from the sounds of it he couldn’t even grip the ball either. For the amount of diamond dry that the Braves ground crew used, the Cubs could have signed two actual, non-injured relief pitchers.
Team Leaders
I’ll use the teams’ 2018 numbers here (excluding injured/departed players), since looking at a bunch of zeros is boring.
Cubs
- OBP: Ben Zobrist (.378)
- ISO: El Mago (.264)
- HR: Baez (34)
- R+RBI: Baez (212)
- wRC+: Baez (131)
- BSR: Jason Heyward (4.3)
- DRS: Albert Almora (9)
- SP K/9: Yu Darvish (11.03)
- SP BB/9: Kyle Hendricks (1.99)
- SP FIP: Cole Hamels (3.42)
- RP FIP: Carl Edwards Jr (11.60)
- RP BB/9: Pedro Strop (3.17)
- RP FIP: Edwards (2.93)
- WAR: Baez (5.3)
Beers
- OBP: Christian Yelich (.402)
- ISO: Yelich (.272)
- HR: Yelich (36)
- R+RBI: Yelich (228)
- wRC+: Yelich (166)
- BSR: Lorenzo Cain (6.4)
- DRS: Cain (20)
- SP K/9: Freddy Peralta (11.12)
- SP BB/9: Zack Davies (2.78)
- SP FIP: Peralta (3.85)
- RP K/9: Josh Hader (15.82)
- RP BB/9: Matt Albers (3.15)
- RP FIP: Hader (2.23)
- WAR: Yelich (7.6)
Injuries, transactions, vengenace pacts, etc.
The Brewers lost a bunch of rental-y guys, mostly in the pitching staff over the offseason. They did make a big splash in free agency, signing pitch framing wizard Yasmani Grandal to what amounts to a 1/20.5 contract. They also brought back Mike Moustakas, which shrug.
Pitching Probables
I’m in midseason form and am too tired/lazy to write pitcher capsules.
Projected K/9, BB/9, ERA listed for each pitcher.
Friday: Jose Quintana, LHP (8.59, 2.96, 3.71) vs Brandon Woodruff, RHP (8.60, 3.55, 4.22), 7:10 PM CT
Saturday: Cole Hamels, LHP (8.08, 3.18, 3.83) vs Corbin Burnes, RHP (9.07, 3.23, 4.09), 6:10 PM CT
Sunday: Kyle Hendricks, RHP (7.55, 2.26, 3.90) vs Zach Davies, RHP (6.86, 2.90, 4.32), 1:10 PM CT
Comments
I haven’t sung Blow Cubs Blow in a while. Feels like home.
ceruleanQuote Reply
why do the cubs suck so hard right now
SKQuote Reply
SK,
Short answer: they suck.
Long answer: they just not as good as they used to be.
dmick89Quote Reply
SK,
dmick89,
They were fortunate to have the record they had last year. Everyone knew they got lucky. They made no attempts to improve their weaknesses, and the players know that. The psychology of defeatism is setting in. Losing is every bit as contagious as winning, and the Cubs are in the middle of an outbreak.
andcountingQuote Reply
So you’re saying they’re losing because they know they suck? I can relate… jk (dying laughing) amirite
SKQuote Reply
if they sweep the brewers, everyone around here is going to change their tune pretty quickly.
of course, they’re not going to sweep the brewers. they’re going to drop three more and then just forfeit the remainder of the season. but IF.
EnricoPallazzoQuote Reply
SK,
(dying laughing). Yes, I’m saying that’s why they’re sucking so particularly hard.
andcountingQuote Reply
In the It Could Be Worse department:
Starters:
Red Sox starters: 35.2 IP, 14 HR, 22 BB, 9.08 ERA
Bullpen:
Uh…
berseliusQuote Reply
there are basically two possibilities:
– the pitching improves, which will be good
– the pitching does not improve, which will be so historically, amazingly, unbelievably bad that it will be highly entertaining
win-win situation fellas
EnricoPallazzoQuote Reply
Can someone help me understand how this team went from World Series champions to this shit they are shoveling out now? This team looks like the worst team in baseball. I know it’s early and all but who didn’t see this coming? If we, conversing peasants, could see this happening, how the hell did the Cubs not see this? Or did they and are they just living off 2016 until they can recoup the money they spent to buy and build the team? I know it’s been talked about for a while about the reasons for not signing anyone this year but it can’t possibly be true that the Cubs are broke….right? Or is it? Could it go both ways? Or should this have been a fanshot? Let me know if you can’t argue with me today.
MuckerQuote Reply
I think they probably saw this was a 75-80 win team at best, but they’re not going to invest in this team with an election around the corner. It really sucks that we’ve gone from cheap owners to owners who are a bunch of racist pieces of shit who would rather help a fascist fuck get re-elected than help the team they own win and in the process make it more difficult for the racist ass to get elected.
dmick89Quote Reply
should have been a fanpost
EnricoPallazzoQuote Reply
To-day’s dump ster fire
RF Zobrist
3B Bryant
1B Rizzo
SS Baez
LF War Bear
C Contreras
2B Descalso
CF Heyward
P Quintana
berseliusQuote Reply
So are the Cubs going to extend Zagunis or what? I’m getting nervous that he could be gone in 6 years.
dmick89Quote Reply
dmick89,
I think it’s a pitcher’s turn, so we should be locking in another eight years of CJ.
andcountingQuote Reply
I’m waiting for the Caratini ———-> 10/$12m extension news
berseliusQuote Reply
berselius,
Personally I’m riveted by Alvin’s quest to get half of next week’s games rescheduled.
andcountingQuote Reply
andcounting,
(dying laughing), this might be a new record in Yellon asking for games to be preemptively canceled.
berseliusQuote Reply
I’m okay if the cancel the rest of the Cubs season. I’m rooting for a work stoppage.
dmick89Quote Reply
dmick89,
I don’t know, I’d like to see the debacle develop a little bit. I’m still trying to figure out which is more fun, the late-inning bullpen collapses that blow leads or the late-inning collapses that make deficits insurmountable.
andcountingQuote Reply
andcounting,
I wouldn’t mind seeing Anthony Rizzo or Jon Lester skipping work just for some extra drama. Mix things up a bit to keep it interesting.
dmick89Quote Reply
dmick89,
Maybe they could go to a Popeye’s or something.
berseliusQuote Reply
berselius,
John Lackey could even meet them there.
berseliusQuote Reply
I’d like to see Joe bring in a magician and a petting zoo during the game. Maybe hire Ricky Henderson as locker room coach to keep everyone extra loose.
andcountingQuote Reply
andcounting,
Maybe a magician petting zoo, where all the players can pet magicians.
berseliusQuote Reply
berselius,
(dying laughing) That sounds like an Arrested Development episode.
andcountingQuote Reply
andcounting,
They demand to be taken seriously
berseliusQuote Reply
berselius,
When I saw “magician petting zoo”, I actually thought you meant a petting zoo where all of the animals were performing shitty magic tricks
EnricoPallazzoQuote Reply
Bob Minocqua throwing some strikes.
berseliusQuote Reply
Yelich is good but the Brewers are really missing that bag of balls they traded for him.
berseliusQuote Reply
I thought you were going to say something weird.
dmick89Quote Reply
Took 7 games to surpass the 5 back rule. (dying laughing)
dmick89Quote Reply
This game is going to be ugggggggly.
andcountingQuote Reply
(dying laughing)
berseliusQuote Reply
Me: Heyward will never live up to his contract, but he is still a useful player.
Jason Heyward: I will use every opportunity to prove you wrong.
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
At this point, the Cubs should probably just try to injure as many of the Brewers as they can. I don’t think they have a shot otherwise.
PerkinsQuote Reply
Time to sell our assets.
MylesQuote Reply
Myles,
Not yet, but it does make you start to wonder who is going to be available.
dmick89Quote Reply
Myles,
Not sure there is a much of a market for the 36th best Cubs blog. We can start by making a list, I guess:
1. Facepalm Logo Rights
2. Jack Benny Reviews
3. Pizza Hut Milf Pics
4. Cookware Seasoning Instructions
5. Berselius
GWQuote Reply
(dying laughing)
dmick89Quote Reply
GW,
I’m ranked far too high imo
berseliusQuote Reply
berselius,
I should at least be behind genital mutilation and the forest gif.
berseliusQuote Reply
Jon Lester pinch-hitting alert.
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
Cubs lookin good tonight you guys
EnricoPallazzoQuote Reply
TIL the state bird of Illinois is… the cardinal.
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
EnricoPallazzo,
The offense is looking great!
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
They voted on that shit when I was in elementary school. I was pissed for like five weeks.
mobile daveQuote Reply
Rizzo the Rat,
According to our car dealership, the state bird of New Mexico is a white pickup truck.
berseliusQuote Reply
It’s hard to believe that I overestimated the talent on this team when I didn’t even think they were very good to begin with.
dmick89Quote Reply
GWQuote Reply
dmick89,
Giving up 6 and a half runs a game is difficult to do on a sustained basis, but somehow the Cubs’ opponents have done that.
Giving up 8 and a half runs a game is even harder, but the Cubs have been equal to that challenge thus far. I don’t know how they could keep it up. Opponents are bound to go through droughts. It’s a long season. I don’t know that you should beat yourself up for not thinking they could evoke this kind of offensive output during the coldest portion of the season. Yes, we knew CJ could put guys on base, but could we have predicted his ability to serve up homers consistently? I don’t think so. It’s too soon to know if he can maintain a 1.740 OPS against, but predicting it would have been kind of outlandish. Don’t feel bad.
andcountingQuote Reply
GW,
Don’t worry, uncle Dave, you are still younger than SK.
berseliusQuote Reply
(dying laughing) Hand to god, this was a thing that happened. May have just been our school giving us an important civics lesson about how much our vote really counts (dying laughing).
uncle daveQuote Reply
On the bright side, the Cubs pitching staff hasn’t given up a run in more than 12 hours.
North Side PatQuote Reply
North Side Pat,
that we know of. Little League teams could score a dozen runs against this pitching staff.
dmick89Quote Reply
Edwards ———> Iowa
Monty ———> IL
Webster, Ryan ————> Cubs (probably)
berseliusQuote Reply
berselius,
Allen Webster. He’s a good candidate to walk more than he strikes out so he’s going to fit in perfectly with this team.
dmick89Quote Reply
I’d be okay if they just started signing people off the street to give them a chance. It can’t be worse.
dmick89Quote Reply
From 2016 to 2019 when signing players off the street might actually be an improvement. That’s a long way to fall, but they somehow did it.
dmick89Quote Reply
dmick89,
I would take the major league minimum – sign me Thoyer. I’m the backup pitcher on my beer league softball team so I have the prereqs.
berseliusQuote Reply
berselius,
League minimum? You could probably get a 5 year extension worth $9 million. At least.
dmick89Quote Reply
dmick89,
They’re on a budget here. Maybe if Theo offered matching funds to Todd’s superpac, or a PR firm to spread the message about who owns the cubs.
berseliusQuote Reply
Cubs lose.
Smokestack LightningQuote Reply
1-161
dmick89Quote Reply
Jesus Christ.
andcountingQuote Reply
I could be up for that. If you’re gonna be bad, be historically bad.
Smokestack LightningQuote Reply
I told you Heyward was still a useful player!
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
It’s a much different offense with the real Jason Heyward in the lineup.
andcountingQuote Reply
Jason Heyward = fixed.
Now hurry up and trade him.
Smokestack LightningQuote Reply
Smokestack Lightning,
It would really mess with our idea of what a replacement level team is.
dmick89Quote Reply
51 pitches through two innings. Fortunately the bullpen is (dying laughing).
andcountingQuote Reply
Caratini!!!
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
Victor.
andcountingQuote Reply
The Cubs are winning the world series.
MylesQuote Reply
Of poker.
MylesQuote Reply
*emerges from cell service dead zone*
What sorcery is this?
berseliusQuote Reply
Meet the new bullpen, same as the old bullpen.
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
There was no way a 7-2 lead was going to be enough.
dmick89Quote Reply
New guys fit in just fine.
MylesQuote Reply
Heyward!!!!
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
(dying laughing), Heyward is locked in
berseliusQuote Reply
Heyward now has as many home runs as Rizzo and Bryant combined.
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
…is Jason Heyward back?
MylesQuote Reply
Myles,
I don’t know, but if there’s even one team that might think he’s back, the Cubs should seriously start talking with that team about a trade.
dmick89Quote Reply
Jesus, Kris.
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
Heyward is .370/.400/.704
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
Rizzo!
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
Bote!
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
Still not enough.
dmick89Quote Reply
The Heyward-Caratini Game.
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
Just a few more and this might be out of reach.
berseliusQuote Reply
Just a few more.
dmick89Quote Reply
The Cubs should try to score 14 runs every game. They might go .500 if they can manage that.
PerkinsQuote Reply
Throw strikes.
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
Please?
Rizzo the RatQuote Reply
They should probably get Strop up.
PerkinsQuote Reply
Rosario sucks.
PerkinsQuote Reply
Perkins,
Maybe .475.
dmick89Quote Reply
The cubs will never lose again!
berseliusQuote Reply
Inverted M. Finally.
PerkinsQuote Reply
More wins than the Reds!
berseliusQuote Reply
The Cubs doubled their win total tonight. That’s a pretty good day.
dmick89Quote Reply
http://www.obstructedview.net/cubs-14-brewers-8/
berseliusQuote Reply