Tony Campana will remember May 17, 2011 as the day he made his major league debut, the day he scored his first run, notched his first RBI, and delivered the first single of his career. People around the world might remember it as a night with a full moon, particularly if they gave birth, went cuckoo, or were attacked by werewolves. People around baseball will remember it as the day Harmon Killebrew took his battle with cancer to the other side of the fence.
Anyone who witnessed the Cubs play the Reds last night will have trouble shaking the memory of the worst baseball game we ever witnessed. The Reds won, as they did the night before, by being the team who screwed up slightly less spectacularly. And let me be clear, I’m not talking about bad hitting, throwing fat pitches down over the heart of the plate, or even foolish managerial decisions. There may have been some of that on both sides, but you can expect to see such things even in well played baseball games.
No, the stuff of last night’s game was, on a scale of unicorn farts to elephant crap, an overflowing canyon of Godzilla diarrhea. Five of the Reds’ 7 runs yesterday were scored on two balls that didn’t leave the infield, one of them a sacrifice bunt. That’s a grounder to first and a sacrifice bunt to the pitcher. Five. Runs.
Then there was Wellington Castillo, successfully gloving strike three in the dirt and then watching Miguel Cairo wander aimlessly to the dugout no to first base ha ha, tricked you! That was awesome. Oh, and remember when Reed Johnson was up with two runners on and nobody out and he fouled a bunt, missed a bunt, and then swung and missed for strike three? Yeah, when the Reds sac bunt, they score two runs and move the bunter to third. When the Cubs do it, they’re lucky to make contact. They’re gamers, though, so whatever.
Mike Quade pretty much agrees with this assessment, by the way. He said, “If we haven’t hit rock bottom with this, we’re pretty damn close.”
It was embarrassing to watch. I had been working with my seven-year-old son on proper catching technique and actually brought him inside to watch the Cubs game to see how comfortably professionals can catch a baseball. Oh, how I wish I could undo that decision. The boy is scarred for life. Dear God, what have I done?
It’s cool, God, I’ll answer my own question. I’ve failed to stay in touch with appropriate expectations. Heading into this year, we knew the Cubs were not built to contend. The other guys here at Obstructed View have done fantastic jobs of presenting the projections and comparing the team’s progress against expectations. I won’t redouble their efforts (though if I overcome this bout of laziness, I’ll link to some of them). Suffice it to say that the Cubs are a little worse than was generally expected, but their current place in the standings certainly fits within the realm of reasonable expectations.
We shouldn’t be surprised the Cubs are a below-.500 team. We expected this.
The Cubs also play baseball, a sport in which crazy things sometimes happen. Two wild throws from two different Cubs pitchers resulting in five Reds runs? That’s crazy. Bad as last night’s game was, I don’t want to sit here in my dank corner of the Interbasement saying that last night’s game is indicative of the Cubs’ true talent. Either one of those plays would stand on their own merits as just a fluke, an aberration, a quirk in the game of baseball that, while unexpected, is bound to show up at one time or another. The fact that they both happened in one game to the same star-crossed team? That’s just sprinkles on the funfetti cake of miserable baseball that is the 2011 Cubs. But honestly, it could have happened to any baseball team. That’s just how baseball goes sometimes.
We shouldn’t be surprised by the occasional embarrassing game (or even two in succession). That’s baseball.
And let’s not forget, this is the Cubs we’re talking about here. Lou called them Cubbie Occurrences. Lou Piniella is a genius. These things seem to happen to the Cubs. Maybe it’s a myth. Maybe our perception is lying to us. Even so, bizarre losses and abysmal plays that make it look like the Cubs are cursed happen frequently enough that we shouldn’t be shocked when they recur.
We shouldn’t be surprised that baseball’s bizarre flukes tend to play out so often before our eyes as Cubs fans. That’s Cubs baseball.
We should know, the Cubs aren’t the team historically that lucks their way into championships. They aren’t a team that buys their way into championships. They aren’t a franchise that builds from the ground up and sees a dynasty rise out of the ashes like a phoenix. They are Wile E. Coyote, and greatness is their Roadrunner. We shouldn’t expect them to catch it. We should expect them to come tantalizingly close and then fail spectacularly in creatively painful new ways. And even if they do eventually find themselves in a position of destiny, we can expect it to go something like this:
Forgive me if I find it all pretty entertaining.
Comments
I learned to cope with misery at a young age through laughter. And I was (dying laughing) all night long.
MishQuote Reply
[quote name=And Counting]And let me be clear, I’m not talking about bad hitting, throwing fat pitches
down over the heart of the platedick high, or even foolish managerial decisions.[/quote]Fixed.
WenningtonsGorillaCockQuote Reply
[quote name=WenningtonsGorillaCock]Fixed.[/quote]Much better.
AndCountingQuote Reply
KG
Robert Whitenack, RHP, Cubs (Double-A Tennessee): 7 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 2 BB, 5 K. Best Double-A start since moving up in late April. Just 17 Ks in 30 innings but 2.5 groundball ratio.
Rubi Silva, OF, Cubs (High-A Daytona): 2-for-4, HR (1), 2 R, RBI. Second High-A game for Cuban signee who showed intriguing tools in the Midwest League.
MishQuote Reply
[quote name=Mish]I learned to cope with misery at a young age through laughter. And I was (dying laughing) all night long.[/quote]I think the funniest part was after Tony Campana had experienced the biggest moment of his life, driving in a run and celebrating the commencement of his major league career, ten minutes later he finds himself in left field chasing down an errant throw from the pitcher all the way to the outfield wall. I figured he had to be thinking, “This kind of crap never happened in Iowa.”
AndCountingQuote Reply
(dying laughing)
(dying laughing)
So this team can’t even strike out guys properly?
GBTSQuote Reply
[quote name=AndCounting]I think the funniest part was after Tony Campana had experienced the biggest moment of his life, driving in a run and celebrating the commencement of his major league career, ten minutes later he finds himself in left field chasing down an errant throw from the pitcher all the way to the outfield wall. I figured he had to be thinking, “This kind of crap never happened in Iowa.”[/quote]
(dying laughing)
So true.
ZappBranniganQuote Reply
WRT Castillo’s tag, I swear the replay looked like Castillo was about to reach and tag Cairo, and then decided not to at the last second.
Also, the ball in the camera well – anyone see a good shot of it? I can’t recall a good angle of it from the Cubs broadcast, but the TV booth said it looked like it went in (before the call was made by the ump) and RC posted that the radio guys didn’t think it went in. Not that I care – if you’re going to lose, I prefer spectacularity.
MishQuote Reply
This season is looking a lot like 2006, except I have no beer to ease the pain. Fortunately, I’m also unable to watch most of the games.
PerkinsQuote Reply
[quote name=Mish]if you’re going to lose, lose spectacularly. [/quote]
/2012 Cubs marketing slogan.
ZappBranniganQuote Reply
at what point to you take an honest look at releasing Soriano?
dylanjQuote Reply
bruce miles bringing the heat http://blogs.dailyherald.com/node/5704
dylanjQuote Reply
[quote name=ZappBrannigan]/2012 Cubs marketing slogan.[/quote]
I dunno if you corrected that or that was your machine, but spectacularity is the word I used, since I needed invent a word strong enough to convey the gravity of Cubs’ fail.
MishQuote Reply
things to enjoy on the 2011 Cubs
1. Starlin Castro AB’s
2. Darwin Barney AB’s
3. Marmol
4. Marshall
5. Days when Garza pitches
thats about it
dylanjQuote Reply
I completely agree.
[quote name=dylanj]at what point to you take an honest look at releasing Soriano?[/quote]
Steve SwisherQuote Reply
[quote name=Mish]I dunno if you corrected that or that was your machine, but spectacularity is the word I used, since I needed invent a word strong enough to convey the gravity of Cubs’ fail.[/quote]
Yes, I corrected it. Seemed like an excellent slogan, even with my watered down version of the word. I’d recommend your version, but you have to remember who Ricketts and the Cubs marketing department is pandering to.
ZappBranniganQuote Reply
[quote name=ZappBrannigan]Yes, I corrected it. Seemed like an excellent slogan, even with my watered down version of the word. I’d recommend your version, but you have to remember who Ricketts and the Cubs marketing department is pandering to.[/quote](dying laughing)
MishQuote Reply
[quote name=dylanj]at what point to you take an honest look at releasing Soriano?[/quote]
When you
A) have someone who is worth a damn who is ready to play the OF
and
B) When any other OF blocking this paragon of hitting has less trade value than Soriano.
I don’t think Jackson is ready anyway, but if he was they’re better off just moving Byrd. Also, Fukudome is going to be gone after this season anyway.
There’s no way the Cubs are moving Soriano’s contract, and despite the fact that Colvin is cheaper and younger I don’t think there’s much chance that he could put up any more value than Adolfo
BerseliusQuote Reply
How the fuck can anyone, after the last two days, think any series is winnable with this team? Ye gods.
GBTSQuote Reply
Colvin and Jackson are both probably better than Soriano is. He cannot play the OF anymore and makes more stupid decisions than any other Cub. And thats saying alot.
dylanjQuote Reply
[quote name=Jame Gumb]Mark that under “Who gives a shit?”.[/quote][quote name=Mish]I put it under “Cool story, bro”.[/quote]Fuck You All!!
Suburban kidQuote Reply
[quote name=GBTS]How the fuck can anyone, after the last two days, think any series is winnable with this team? Ye gods.[/quote]I think Al is sorely underrating TBA.
AndCountingQuote Reply
[quote name=GBTS]How the fuck can anyone, after the last two days, think any series is winnable with this team? Ye gods.[/quote]
I’ve often wondered what color the sky is in Alvin’s world.
Aisle424Quote Reply
Regarding Soriano, at what point in your career do you say, “Wow, I used to really fucking good. Now I suck. Maybe I should work hard this offseason”?
jtsunamiQuote Reply
[quote name=GBTS]How the fuck can anyone, after the last two days, think any series is winnable with this team? Ye gods.[/quote]
Well, it is the same guy who thinks being a good customer makes him part of the company.
PerkinsQuote Reply
[quote name=AndCounting]I think Al is sorely underrating TBA.[/quote]Let’s See What Happens
jtsunamiQuote Reply
also, it amuses me to see Hendry talk about how Colvin earned his demotion.
First off you only start the kid vs LHP. Then you sit him for days & weeks on end and get mad when his AB’s dont go well?
dylanjQuote Reply
it was the same reason i hated the Darwin Barney platoon. coming up as a young player is hard enough but to reverse platoon your young players is fucking crazy
dylanjQuote Reply
[quote name=jtsunami]Regarding Soriano, at what point in your career do you say, “Wow, I used to really fucking good. Now I suck. Maybe I should work hard this offseason”?[/quote]
Since when does Soriano not work hard?
LukasQuote Reply
[quote name=jtsunami]Regarding Soriano, at what point in your career do you say, “Wow, I used to really fucking good. Now I suck. Maybe I should work hard this offseason”?[/quote]I don’t think sucking is due to lack of winter practice, except for maybe some high school players.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
[quote name=jtsunami]Regarding Soriano, at what point in your career do you say, “Wow, I used to really fucking good. Now I suck. Maybe I should work hard this offseason”?[/quote]
FWIW Soriano is known as one of the hardest workers on the team. He’s a workout machine. I think his body is just collapsing on him.
BerseliusQuote Reply
[quote name=Berselius]FWIW Soriano is known as one of the hardest workers on the team. He’s a workout machine. I think his body is just collapsing on him.[/quote]
I agree…it looks painful for him to run these days.
I don’t think the Cubs will ever play him at 1B or just flat out release him though. They need to hope he gets super hot and then dump him on the Angels as a DH (dying laughing)
Rice CubeQuote Reply
[quote name=Rice Cube]I agree…it looks painful for him to run these days.
I don’t think the Cubs will ever play him at 1B or just flat out release him though. They need to hope he gets super hot and then dump him on the Angels as a DH (dying laughing)[/quote]
We can still hold out hope that the Pirates might trade Andrew McCutcheon for him (dying laughing)
BerseliusQuote Reply
Just wait another month, Quade (dying laughing)
BerseliusQuote Reply
I found Monday’s game to be frustrating. I thought yesterday’s game was just hilarious (dying laughing)
BerseliusQuote Reply
http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/baseball-oddity-files-cubs-bungle-dropped-third-strike/
MishQuote Reply
I’m working on an UnobstructedView for dsiability insurance on Soriano’s contract. I’ve tried to publish it twice, but it keeps not saving my work (dying laughing)
I’ll get around to finishing it whenever the system stops kicking me around.
ZappBranniganQuote Reply
[quote name=Berselius]I found Monday’s game to be frustrating. I thought yesterday’s game was just hilarious (dying laughing)[/quote]
I had a good chuckle in between facepalms.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
Lebron has the sniffles, hence his Game 1 performance. Some luck he has (dying laughing)
jtsunamiQuote Reply
[quote name=jtsunami]Lebron has the sniffles, hence his Game 1 performance. Some luck he has (dying laughing)[/quote]
I remember Jordan dropping 30 or 40 points on the Jazz while being propped up by Scottie Pippen. Or maybe I imagined that.
Either way, excuses are lame.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
Jordan had the flu, and yes, that was one of the greatest basketball games I’ve ever watched. I think I have that one taped on VHS, which is a technology I’ve recently enjoyed.
MishQuote Reply
[quote name=Mish]Jordan had the flu, and yes, that was one of the greatest basketball games I’ve ever watched. I think I have that one taped on VHS, which is a technology I’ve recently enjoyed.[/quote]
Oh, so I wasn’t dreaming.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
More on the Cubs here:
http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/changes-coming-for-the-nl-central/
MishQuote Reply
[quote name=Mish]More on the Cubs here:
http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/changes-coming-for-the-nl-central/%5B/quote%5D
It’s really depressing that the only time Cubs ownership has run the club like a big market team was in 2007-2008, when it was only to pump up the franchise’s value for sale.
PerkinsQuote Reply
[quote name=Mish]More on the Cubs here:
http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/changes-coming-for-the-nl-central/%5B/quote%5D
Thanks for the OV link, Brad
BerseliusQuote Reply
preview up http://obstructedview.net/chicago-cubs/previews/series-preview-chicago-cubs-17-23-at-florida-marlins-24-16.html
BerseliusQuote Reply
[quote name=Berselius]Thanks for the OV link, Brad[/quote]
Hah I initially read that in my RSS reader, so I didn’t even realize that was hyperlinked. w00t Brad!
MishQuote Reply
http://obstructedview.net/unobstructed-views/cubs/sorianos-contract-disability-insurance.html
I wrote a Unobstructed View on the possibility of collecting disability insurance on Soriano’s contract, if anyone is interested.
ZappBranniganQuote Reply
This has my vote for best post on Obstructed View and we’ve been around for years so that’s saying something. Outstanding, AC.
mb21Quote Reply
Agreed, this is an awesome, awesome post.
The WreckardQuote Reply