I was sadly made aware of another corner of the internet that would be better left unexplored yesterday, thanks to intrepid Friend of Aisle 424, @AndrewCieslak over on Twitter. I don't know how he found it or what provoked me into asking him what he was pissed off about or why I clicked on the link that I assuredly knew would make me want to smash my iPhone and slit my throat with the broken pieces, but I did anyway.
You know how we have likened Rant Sports to a poor man's Bleacher Report? Well, this fucking site is where people who don't make the cut at Rant Sports go to type nonsense on the internet. This thing is so bad, I'm not even going to provide a link because fuck these people trying to drive traffic. If you want to find it, you can Google it if you want, but this is the bulk of the nonsense entitled: "Plain and Simple: Is Theo Epstein Baseball’s Biggest Fraud?"
If you take a moment to look deeper into Epstein’s moves with the Red Sox, the Cubs would have seen that this was going to turn into a nightmare.
Epstein took over a Red Sox organization that was ready to win. And ready to win big. With a core of Manny Ramirez, Johnny Damon, Nomar Garciaparra and Jason Varitek, that offense was lethal. But what made it that much easier for Epstein to win was the starting rotation that was already in place – led by Pedro Martinez and Derek Lowe.
But where did the Boy Genius really have an advantage over every G.M. in baseball this side of the Yankees? Payroll.
When Boston won its first World Series title in 2004, they were second in payroll. There was no team within $20 million dollars. The same thing happened again in 2007, when the Red Sox won their second championship. Let me repeat, no other team came within $20 million.
With that type of payroll advantage, Theo was able to overcome major mistakes he made on the free agent market. He spent bad money on overrated talent like J.D. Drew, Jason Bay, Eric Gagne, Jason Lackey, and Daisuke Matsuzaka.
Any GM that isn’t running a big market club could never make those types of mistakes, and still win.
In Chicago, Theo didn’t get anything close to what he inherited with the Red Sox. Not in payroll, and certainly not in talent. All Theo inherited was a full-fledged war with the roof-top owners, and a massive roster rebuild.
Theo and his boy-toy Jed Hoyer have been preaching patience and player development since they took over this sinking ship, but outside of Dustin Pedroia, Jon Lester and Clay Buchholz – where was all this player development in Beantown that the boy genius talks about?
I guess we shouldn't be surprised, what with Gordo taking every opportunity to shit all over what Theo accomplished in Boston. It stands to reason mouthbreathers with access to the internets will find a way to make us all dumber for having read their bullshit. All I could do while reading that crap was picture the author, Del, sitting around in his Theriot jersey with his friends, It's Gonna Happen signs sprawled pell mell across an apartment amongst Bud Light tall boys and Maxim magazines with the pages stuck together, bitching about Theo at their weekly People's Front of Cubs Nation Meeting (not to be confused with the Cubs Nation People's Front or the Popular Front of Cubdom (which is just Alvin)).
Del: What did Theo ever do for the Red Sox?
PFCN Member: David Ortiz?
Del: What?
PFCN Member: David Ortiz.
Del: Oh. Yeah, he did give them Papi. That's true, yeah.
PFCN Member: And the mid-season deal for Mientkiewicz and Cabrera.
Other PFCN Member: Oh, yeah, the deadline deal, Del. Remember what their infield defense used to be like?
Del: I'll grant you Papi and infield defense, the two things Theo did.
PFCN Member: And Dustin Pedroia.
Del: Yeah, obviously Dustin Pedroia. I mean Pedroia goes without saying, doesn't he? But apart from Papi, an improved infield defense and Dustin Pedroia…
Other PFCN Member: Buchholz.
PFCN Member: Lester.
Other PFCN Member: Papelbon.
Del: Yeah, yeah, all right, fair enough.
PFCN Member: And Carmine.
Other PFCN Member: That's something they'd really miss, Del, if Theo took that when he left.
PFCN Member: Ellsbury.
Other PFCN Member: And the Yankees don't win the World Series all the time now.
PFCN Member: He certainly knew how to keep the Yankees in check. Let's face it, he's the only one who could in a place like Boston. (laughter)
Del: All right, but apart from Big Papi, middle infield defense, Ellsbury, Buchholz, Lester, Papelbon, Pedroia, the Carmine data analysis system and the Yankees only winning once in his tenure with Boston, what has Theo ever done for the Red Sox?
Third PFCN Member: Broke The Curse?
Del: Oh, The Curse. Shut up!
Comments
(dying laughing) Jason Lackey…
sitrickQuote Reply
sitrick wrote:
EPSTINK IS GOING TO SPEND LIKE A DRUNKEN SAILOR ON MATT NAPOLI MY FRENTS. DONE DEAL SEALED
BerseliusQuote Reply
SNAKE OIL SAILSMEN THEO UPSTINK DOESN’T WANT THIS TEAM TO WIN!!!!!! SHUDN’T OF TRADED JOHN HAMILTON TO THE REDS!!! WE NEED RYAN SANDBERG BACK
JonKneeVQuote Reply
@ SVB:
So I like to rank things.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
“With the pages stuck together. ..” (dying laughing)
424 why do this to yourself? Were there not enough comments on yahoo.com news today?
SVBQuote Reply
@ SVB:
Like I said, I responded to a Slak tweet about Cubs fans being the worst which led to him pointing out that post. I couldn’t just unsee it.
Aisle424Quote Reply
@ Suburban kid:
I’m impressed with your range. Jack Benny to Buffy. Can you do ones for Glee and My Little Pony–Friendship is Magic? That would help me catch up on the pop and kids shows I missed while in PR and not hooked up to cable.
SVBQuote Reply
@ Aisle424:
….the point where your cursor/finger is hovering over the link and you think “I’m going to regret this” then click.
SVBQuote Reply
Also, any excuse to make a Monty Python reference is gonna happen.
Aisle424Quote Reply
@ SVB:
“…but how BAD could it be, really?”
Aisle424Quote Reply
I’m waiting for one of those dudes from my last post to come in and think I’m mocking Jews or something.
Aisle424Quote Reply
Wonder if you will get called a jabroni again.
Rice CubeQuote Reply
Dammit. Deadspin just gave BCB some pub. If only Deadspin knew…
JonKneeVQuote Reply
Without a posting system in place between NPB and MLB, is it possible for a team to go ahead and make the player available and negotiate with individual teams? Does it just mean that no NPB team can make a player eligible to come to the US?
dmick89Quote Reply
@ JonKneeV:
Can’t blame them. It’s pretty cool footage. Interesting to see some guys wearing batting helmets, then see Pete Rose go up without one.
Also, I was under the impression that pre-Johnny Bench catchers’ mitts were huge amorphous things, but the ones in the video don’t look that different from modern day ones.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
So wait, are folks mad because the Cubs are spending too much, or not enough? I’m confused.
uncle daveQuote Reply
uncle dave wrote:
YES!
Aisle424Quote Reply
Huh. Didn’t expect to hear Jack Brickhouse comment that “any time a pitcher goes over 125 or 130 pitches you can expect a lot of wear and tear on that arm”. Didn’t think they counted pitches back then.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
@ Suburban kid:
It was probably a guesstimate, rather than an actual count. If he tracked the counts on his scorecard, he probably had a decent idea of how many pitches were made.
Aisle424Quote Reply
Needless to say in a 0-0 game in 1965 the late innings are fucking chock full of bunting action.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
@ Aisle424:
Yeah, but like, I didn’t think they even thought about it. Games played and innings maybe, but not pitches.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
@ uncle dave:
It’s similar to many of these same people’s arguments against Hendry a few years back. He spent way too much. He didn’t go out and sign enough players to contend. 424 covered this pretty well in this is typical Rant Sports/Bleacher Report garbage. Articulate your complaint in a way that allows you to later claim you were right! Come to think of it, Alvin did this a lot at one point too.
dmick89Quote Reply
@ Suburban kid:
Brickhouse was a trailblazer.
Aisle424Quote Reply
doc, will you just shut the fuck up and burn them off for me? because if you won’t, I will.
http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2013/11/15/ted-lilly-had-the-nerve-endings-in-his-neck-cauterized/
GWQuote Reply
@ GW:
Holy shit, that has to hurt.
dmick89Quote Reply
@ dmick89:
Stone cold badass.
What ever happened to Ted Lilly Fan Club? That was one of my favorite sites back in the day.
Maybe Ted Lilly can be this year’s token surprise signing for Cubs convention. Or Carlos Zambrano.
EdwinQuote Reply
@ dmick89:
@ Aisle424:
Stinky click bait is the best click bait, I guess.
uncle daveQuote Reply
(dying laughing) Jason Lackey.
Jason LackeyQuote Reply
uncle dave wrote:
(dying laughing)
BerseliusQuote Reply
This was awesome Aisley
WaLiQuote Reply
Edwin wrote:
yeah if anyone knows where that dude writes now, please share. that site was really entertaining.
EnricoPallazzoQuote Reply
Lou Holtz’s voice has become so thick that he is incomprehensible.
SVBQuote Reply
@ GW:
@ dmick89:
@ Edwin:
This year’s Scott Baker reclamation project?
SVBQuote Reply
new shit: http://obstructedview.net/news-and-rumors/cubs-have-talked-extension-with-jeff-samardzija.html
dmick89Quote Reply
Lester was there pre-Theo.
Playing devils advocate a bit here….the payroll advantages WERE a really big deal. He doesn’t win that title in 2004 without taking over a team that won 93 games the year before he was hired. He probably doesn’t win without the Lowell/Beckett trade after he left Boston in a gorilla suit.
I think he’s a good and capable front office guy.
I also think the hero worship some fans put upon him is largely misplaced though. Nobody is claiming Brian Cashman is a god are they?
aaronbQuote Reply
Right now it appears like Drupal is the best blogging platform out there right now.
(from what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?
fire inspectionsQuote Reply