Last night, Robert Feder reported that WGN has a short list of candidates to replace Keith Moreland alongside Pat Hughes in the Cubs radio booth.
While the search remains open, sources said, WGN officials compiled a list of their top potential candidates Monday, including eight former Cubs — Rick Sutcliffe, Kerry Wood, Todd Hollandsworth, Mark DeRosa, Ryan Theriot, Eric Karros, Doug Glanville and Dave Otto. Also on the list is former WGN sportscaster Andy Masur, who subbed for Hughes on Cubs broadcasts before becoming announcer for the San Diego Padres.
Yes, you read that correctly. In amongst the usual suspects, there is Ryan Theriot. While we all recover from throwing up in our mouths, I decided to rank my personal preferences from this list.
#1 – Andy Masur
For me it really isn't close. Andy Masur has worked with Pat Hughes before (from 1999 to 2007 at WGN), he has a very listenable voice, and he's extremely knowledgeable about the game. I don't know how serious his inclusion is since he's traditionally been a play-by-play guy. But his ability to do the play-by-play during Pat Hughes' 5th inning constitutional should be enough to rocket him to the top of the list by a large margin.
#2 – Doug Glanville
Doug is the only candidate who people will talk about how intelligent and well-spoken he is, like it's a big surprise that a guy who is black works in the television industry can put two sentences together coherently. Still, it would be hilarious if the Cubs broadcast with Glanville ended up sounding like this:
Doug Glanville: Shiiiiit, maaaaan. That honky muf' be messin' mah old lady… got to be runnin' cold upside down his head, you know?
Pat Hughes: Hey home', I can dig it. Know ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap up on you, man!
Doug Glanville: I say hey, sky… subba say I wan' see…
Pat Hughes: Uh-huh.
Doug Glanville: …pray to J I did the same-ol', same-ol'!
Pat Hughes: Hey… knock a self a pro, Slick! That gray matter backlot perform us DOWN, I take TCB-in', man!
Doug Glanville: Hey, you know what they say: see a broad to get dat booty yak 'em…
Doug Glanville, Pat Hughes:: …leg 'er down a smack 'em yak 'em!
Doug Glanville: COL' got to be! Y'know? Shiiiiit.
#3 – Dave Otto
Now we get to the splitting hairs portion of the list because the next few guys are all annoying, and their order would be determined more by personal preference than anything tangible. I've got Otto above the rest because I've gotten oddly used to his awkward delivery and tendency to overuse player slang and the rest of the list is pretty terrible,
#4 – Rick Sutcliffe
Sutcliffe can be entertaining, but he tends to just parrot the lazy narratives I tend to hate about guys finding a will to succeed and shit like that. He's also the most entertaining when he's hammered off his ass drunk.
Unfortunately, that schtick was done in the WGN booth already by Harry Caray.
#5 – Eric Karros
I probably only rank Eric Karros this low because I always resented him taking at-bats away from Hee Seop Choi in 2003. Shows what I fucking know.
#6 – Mark DeRosa
DeRosa seemed to do fine on the TBS studio show during the playoffs and I'm sure the women would LOVE to see his sexy stubble on the radio… wait…
*UPDATE* DeRosa apparently realized his sexy stubble would be completely negated on radio and has signed with the MLB Network where he will look like a genius compared to Harold Reynolds.
#7 – Todd Hollandsworth
Hollandsworth has been working Cubs games for Comcast since 2008 and has seemingly earned a shot at a more full-time gig, but the man. Does. Not. Shut. Up. Ever. If you're going to sit next to one of the best play-by-play announcers in all of baseball, the color guy should probably allow him to get a word in occasionally and Hollandsworth doesn't.
#8 – Kerry Wood
Wood was always good for a quote with the media, but I never heard him do anything or say anything that led me to believe he had 162 games times 3 hours worth of material to share with people. But I'd hire Kerry Wood in a second or any of…
#9 (tie) – Almost Everyone Else on the Planet
… before I hired…
#10 – Ryan Theriot
I would rather listen to Ronnie Woo paired with Bobcat Goldthwait read the entire passage of Genesis chapter 5 (And Mahal'aleel lived sixty and five years, and begat Jared and Mahal'aleel lived after he begat Jared eight hundred and thirty years, and begat sons and daughters and all the days of Mahal'aleel were eight hundred ninety and five years: and he died…) on a loop while someone put my head in a vise and stuck icepicks into my testicles than listen to Ryan Theriot say anything ever again.
Personally, I'd rather Pat Hughes just have the booth to himself or if they absolutely have to hire someone, the only choice is clear:
BILL FUCKING MURRAY!
Comments
To me, Dave Otto and Andy Masur are basically equivalent: competent but boring.
I can’t help but wonder, with Ronnie and then Keith, if they think their target radio audience is composed entirely of elderly people with Alzheimer’s disease.
joshQuote Reply
My memory of Andy Masur is so different from yours. I thought he was very difficult to listen to, bad at broadcasting, awkward etc. I couldn’t get past his presentation, so I have no idea of his baseball knowledge.
Are Sutcliffe, Wood, Karros, actually interested in this job? If so I’d take Karros. He is not very good, but I would consider him to be listenable and to have a non-awkward presentation, and he has experience doing the radio. I share your feelings about Sutcliffe and Wood.
DeRosa, Theriot and Glanville are unknowns.
(dying laughing)
(dying laughing)
(dying laughing)
(dying laughing)
Glanville has the potential to be great either way, I suppose. Me also heart smart dudes.
If it’s Hollandsworth or Otto, then it’s goodbye Pat, I aint gonna tune in no mo’.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
I’ve come to think that Uecker’s current #2, Joe Block, is going to be one of the best announcers in baseball pretty soon. He’s a PBP guy too, but if they’re considering Masur anyway I’d love it if they got him. Meh.
Someone needs to compile an announcer prospect list (dying (dying laughing)ing)
fang2415Quote Reply
Hilarious, Tim. But you’re wrong. WRONG.
Otto kills me. He is survivable when he fills in for a day or two, but I can’t bear to hear him regurgitate, “Exactly,” every time Pat Hughes makes a point. He’s definitely improved since when he first started in the television booth, but he still doesn’t belong in the color seat.
Andy Masur is just meh.
Kerry Wood I would listen to just about all day.
With DeRosa, my biggest problem would be the need to genuflect every time He speaks. But hearing Pat Hughes say, “Joining me for today’s broadcast is former Cubs star and eternal God of the universe. . . .” That would be fun.
Glanville isn’t really cut out for a full broadcast either. I just don’t think he achieves that conversational tone (jive or otherwise) when he appears on air, which has always been a pretty essential quality of the WGN radio booth.
Sutcliffe is always drunk. Swear to DeRosa.
Todd Hollandsworth and Eric Karros are interchangeably mediocre.
Ryan Theriot isn’t happening in a million years, but I wouldn’t slit my wrists if it did. When he shows up on any media platform, I find myself laughing a lot. Which I like. So there.
AndCountingQuote Reply
No matter who wins, I think it’s safe to say we all lose.
MylesQuote Reply
karros or dero would be fine. i thought that i would have liked both wood and sutcliffe too but 424 makes some great points about why they might not be the best.
i’d be furious if they hired theriot. is that really a possibility?
mark grace? i think he’s out of jail now…
EnricoPallazzoQuote Reply
New Aside
http://obstructedview.net/minor-leagues/stars-of-tomorrow-cubs-afl-recap-111213.html
MylesQuote Reply
DeRo is joining MLB Network.
GBTSQuote Reply
I say they just replace Zonk with a comfortable toilet, so that Pat can do the entire game solo.
GBTSQuote Reply
GBTS wrote:
I think guys who have made 8 figures in their career should relax and spend their money or start their own enterprise rather than taking paying jobs away from the poor stiffs like Theriot who only made 7 figures.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
@ GBTS:
I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of exposure.
Comfortable ToiletQuote Reply
@ Comfortable Toilet:
Don’t be cheeky with me.
GBTSQuote Reply
@ Comfortable Toilet:
@ GBTS:
This board has gone to shit.
mikeakaleroyQuote Reply
Small sample size, but I remember being really impressed with Kerry’s few minutes in the booth with Len and JD when he did the stretch last year. Seemed funny and comfortable on mic, bantered well with the other two, took some lighthearted barbs at his wife. I’d be happy to have him in the booth.
I haven’t seen this anywhere, but a buddy of mine texted me earlier this morning that he saw Steve Stone was being considered, which is down there with Theriot as far as I’m concerned.
sitrickQuote Reply
@ sitrick:
Stone was the first person I thought of when the Zonk “resignation” was announced.
I’m sure he’d love to get back to the north side, and he only left because of bad blood from ex-management and ex-ownership over the treatment of his ex-partner, not because of ratings or anything. Although I guess radio only would be a demotion so who knows.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
In terms of my level of interest, who gets the Cubs radio gig rates just above who the next winner of Dancing with the Stars will be.
dmick89Quote Reply
@ dmick89:
You’re into it that much, huh?
Suburban kidQuote Reply
Also dmick, it’s great to see that your dating prospects are improving.
http://boston.craigslist.org/nos/mis/4173895664.html
Suburban kidQuote Reply
@ Suburban kid:
I’m constantly hitting refresh. I’m that into it.
dmick89Quote Reply
SK, I hope your new toy does well this holiday season
BerseliusQuote Reply
Updated post to reflect DeRosa’s jump to MLB Network.
Aisle424Quote Reply
http://deadspin.com/family-of-player-killed-in-practice-sues-ncaa-coaches-1188048031/1463651387/@barryap
sitrickQuote Reply
@ Berselius:
Would that my gross sales match the extent of my genius, which is inscrutable, nay, impenetrable.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
I don’t think the Cubs should spend big money on a radio announcer until the team is ready to compete.
EdwinQuote Reply
http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap2000000281066/article/ask-5-is-jadeveon-clowneys-decline-minor-or-major-issue
[img]http://www.popehat.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/31282046.jpg[/img]
Omar LittleQuote Reply
Shawn Camp —–> Phillies
(dying laughing)
Aisle424Quote Reply
https://twitter.com/FeinsandNYDN/status/400709722740772864
sitrickQuote Reply
(dying laughing)
BerseliusQuote Reply
@ Berselius:
(dying laughing)
mikeakaleroyQuote Reply
[img]http://www.littlecubsfield.com/daveimages/a1300.jpg[/img]
Suburban kidQuote Reply
The whole Glanville/Hughes dialogue – NOT cool or funny at all!
Jeffery CusicQuote Reply
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVJPB3W54Tc
Not cool or funny.
Aisle424Quote Reply
FWIW, my order of preference
Glanville–I’m pretty impressed when a baseball player can string together intelligent sentences. (How’s that 424?)
Wood
Masur
Karros
None of the rest of the list above
Pedro Martinez. He’s still got a really thick accent, which would be HILARIOUS next to Pat in the booth. In the way the Rocky Horror Picture Show on DVD, the 7th Inning Stretch, and NASCAR are hilarious. Muy Divertido, chach.
Jermaine Dye, Can’t wait to hear what he has to say during the Crosstown series
Carlos Zambrano and Michael Barrett, but only in tandem, like Ronny and Brenly were long ago.
Augie Ojeda. He rode the pine for about 800 years in the majors. Bet he’s got stories and insight out the yinyang.
SVBQuote Reply
If you guys can’t filter out the video ads, I might have to go back to using Ad Block.
Today I even got a pop-up from Chrome saying “obstructedview.net would like access to your camera and microphone”
Suburban kidQuote Reply
Suburban kid wrote:
MB told me that was some coding bug left over from Bloguin, and if you hit “Accept” and then take your phone with you in the shower it gets fixed.
GBTSQuote Reply
glanville grew up in a middle class family and went to an Ivy League school and that’s all you can say about him ? what is this the 1950’s?
cywQuote Reply
@ GBTS:
.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
@ cyw:
I’m going to assume you skipped straight to the jive, and didn’t read the portion condemning people who are surprised by Glanville’s articulacy in spite of his skin color.
GBTSQuote Reply
@ GBTS:
Yeah, I think the guy earlier who said it wasn’t cool or funny did the same thing.
dmick89Quote Reply
@ Suburban kid:
What’s up with the video ads?
dmick89Quote Reply
@ dmick89:
They suck.
For example, you’ll be on another tab in your browser minding your own business when out of nowhere there’s an audio stream and you have no idea where it’s coming from. Eventually you track it down to OV.
Happens a lot more frequently lately. Sometimes after loading a page, but also just out of the blue like in the example above.
Then like to today you try to right click on it to get at controls to mute it or stop it, but it only makes it more aggressive, asking for rights to your mic and camera etc.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
It’s like, no big deal. I doubt it’s driving people away or anything.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
@ Suburban kid:
Sorry about that. I know it happened to me one time about 6 weeks ago and I contacted Blitzcorner and I haven’t had it since.
I’m not sure exactly when, but probably sometime in the next 4-6 weeks, OV will be moving to Bloguin so I’m reluctant to deal with this ad issue. It’s things like this that get old and combined with the fact that I have not exactly been well for the last year, it’s gotten overwhelming trying to keep up on the backend stuff. Not to mention, we had that problem back in July, which really really fucking sucked.
Don’t worry, SK, we won’t be using Livefyre comments. We made sure we can just stick with WordPress comments before we agreed to the move. I hated that shit as much as you, but supposedly they’re a hell of a lot better now that they’re no longer in Beta.
dmick89Quote Reply
Suburban kid wrote:
I noticed this the other day. I didn’t know it was a regular thing because I usually have the sound muted.
Aisle424Quote Reply
GBTS wrote:
tldr
Aisle424Quote Reply
@ Aisle424:
I don’t have the audio muted on my computer, but it is about as low as it can go. Maybe it happens more often than I realize.
dmick89Quote Reply
New shit
http://obstructedview.net/commentary-and-analysis/daily-facepalm-samardzija-rumors-aplenty.html
BerseliusQuote Reply