Paul Sullivan is Pissy, Theo Rules All

The Cubs are about to clinch a spot in the post-season. They still have a shot at winning more games than the 1984 and 2008 teams that were the best teams of my lifetime. And they're doing it ahead of schedule.

Everyone should be in a pretty good mood, right?

Shockingly, Paul Sullivan has been stewing for 10 months and he's finally going to let us know what's been bothering him about Joe Maddon since his introductory press conference.

Paul never got his free shot and a beer that Joe offered when he spoke at that first media session. He claims none of the media did:

But we, the media, were too busy interviewing Maddon, Epstein, Hoyer and agent Alan Nero to partake. Maddon's kind gesture went nationwide, but the reality is he didn't buy us any drinks.

But didn't Theo tell Dan Patrick there was a "stampede" for the bar?

WHAT ABOUT THAT, PRETTY BOY?! WHY THE FALSE FLAG?!!

 

      B

      E

      Never

      Got

    sHot

      And

beerZ

       I

 

FREE SHOTS AND BEERS DON'T MELT STEEL BEAMS!!

Paul, in his own words, "confronted him" soon after:

Epstein: "You look miserable."

Tribune: "What about this story you told Dan Patrick that all the media was running to the bar to get the free drinks?"

Epstein: "Yeah, I used some creative license. I was mainly talking about you."

Tribune: "Did you see me take a drink? You didn't see any of us take a drink. Let's clarify that right now. It was taken as the truth."

Epstein: "Who cares?"

Tribune: "I just want you to fess up."

Epstein: "OK, Paul Sullivan is too stupid to take advantage of a free drink. There. It's on the record."  

(dying laughing)

(dying laughing)

(dying laughing)

Theo gives zero fucks and it's magnificent.

Meanwhile, Paul channels his inner Yellon even more when he continues:

I've kept quiet for 10 months. But now the Cubs are about to throw the party of the century, and we're still waiting on our shot and a beer.

Seriously, if you didn't know it was from the Tribune and Paul's name wasn't explicitly mentioned in the article, doesn't this read like a classic Alvin post when he's bitching about sale price bleacher tickets or some shit?

I honestly don't know why he ran this. Did he think people would feel bad for him? Is it tongue-in-cheek? It doesn't read that way to me.

I have a theory though.

111 thoughts on “Paul Sullivan is Pissy, Theo Rules All”

  1. Like, I don’t get the point of this. Is he trying to be ironically funny? Is he whining because he never got a drink and therefore the Cubs are liars and/or cheap? Is he out of column ideas?

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  2. I was feeling kinda shitty about the Cubs not sweeping the Brewers. But Paul Sullivan being miserable (and OV taunting him about it) cheered me right up!

    Thanks.

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  3. Millertime,

    My understanding is that the media actually did not get their drinks per other sources but only one guy complained, so I don’t know how important this is in the grand scheme of things.

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  4. Rice Cube,

    Yeah, it just seems like such an unimportant and uninteresting story. I get that there’s probably some backlash to the hero worship Theo and Joe normally get, and maybe even some of that backlash is deserved. This just seems like a strange way to do it though.

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  5. He wanted to poke fun at Maddon and Theo but realized he’d look like a sorry-ass loser so he also poked fun at himself. It did not play out the way he must have imagined it in his mind.

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  6. Suburbank Id,

    Yeah. People are insisting it’s tongue-in-cheek, but it doesn’t read that way at all. It’s bizarre.

    And if it’s so light-hearted, why wait 10 months? Isn’t the window on light-hearted closed at that point? Maybe a month afterwards, he could drop in a “I’m still waiting for that shot and a beer we were promised” or something. 10 months later the timing is off and it just seems petty.

    I don’t know. Whatever.

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  7. Mercurial Outfielder:
    Good luck with your blog.

    My favorite moment from ACB for sure. Glad to see you around here too, MO. Been a long time.

    Suburbank Id, I think that’s what he was trying to do and yeah, it didn’t work out as well as he thought. Still trying to figure out how he could have thought it would work out well.

    It was just yesterday when I was thinking to myself that I missed Paul Sullivan’s idiotic columns.

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  8. dmick89: It was just yesterday when I was thinking to myself that I missed Paul Sullivan’s idiotic columns.

    He hasn’t been nearly as obnoxious since he was on the beat. This was good old-fashioned Angry Hobbit Paul Sullivan. Good times.

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  9. myles:
    The Jake Arrieta median start:
    7 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 7 SO, 0 HR

    The Zack Greinke median start:
    7 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 6 SO, 0 HR

    The Clayton Kershaw median start:
    7 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 9 SO, 0 HR

    Pick the Cy Young.

    Who has more median wins

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  10. aisle424: He hasn’t been nearly as obnoxious since he was on the beat. This was good old-fashioned Angry Hobbit Paul Sullivan. Good times.

    None of them have been. The fan base and the media have been schooled over the last few years. It’s nice to see, but it gives me less to write about.

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  11. The Jake Arrieta median start:
    7 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 7 SO, 0 HR
    The Zack Greinke median start:
    7 IP, 4 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 6 SO, 0 HR
    The Clayton Kershaw median start:
    7 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 9 SO, 0 HR
    Pick the Cy Young.

    I don’t know about this. Arrieta by most measures has been the better pitcher, but not by enough to conclusively say that he has had the better season. I’m OK with any of them winning the Cy Young award.

    I might care more about Arrieta winning the Cy Young, but the Cubs are contending so that’s really all that I care about. If Arrieta beats Pittsburgh on October 7th, I’m going to be a very happy person. If he doesn’t, I’m still going to appreciate how good this season was, but it’s going to suck that Cubs baseball is over for awhile.

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  12. Greinke’s DRA is 2.05, Arrieta’s is 2.19 and Kershaw’s is 2.17. Greinke’s DRA WARP is 7.36 and the other two are tied at 7.31. Each of them are deserving of winning the award this year.

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  13. Figure out a way to add the ability to edit comments for registered users and users who aren’t logged in without sacrificing security or the load times of the site. I just need to make a few edits and then I’ll add it to the site here. Give me a couple days though.

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  14. dmick89:
    Do we really need to be able to order pizza with a fucking emoji?

    No, you order it with a pizza emoji. Fucking emojis will bring something else to your door.

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  15. aisle424:
    Hey, embedding tweets works! Cool.

    I think that will work for admins, but it’s not going to work for others for what it’s worth. We could probably enable it, but it could open the door to some fairly easy attacks and I think that’s the last thing we want.

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  16. dmick89: I think that will work for admins, but it’s not going to work for others for what it’s worth. We could probably enable it, but it could open the door to some fairly easy attacks and I think that’s the last thing we want.

    We definitely don’t want to be vulnerable to attack for the next Great Cubs Blog War.

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  17. aisle424: We definitely don’t want to be vulnerable to attack for the next Great Cubs Blog War.

    Memory jogged briefly of GROTA, Cubs Blog Coast Guard, etc.

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  18. aisle424: Nothing will beat the Aisle424/Wrigleyville23/ACB v. HireJimEssian/IvyChat/Desipio v. LeagueofHerOwn battle of 2010, IMO.

    i don’t know, the brief rant sports commenting was pretty amazing. as my mom always says, “it’s not a true war unless you use the word ‘jabroni'”.

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  19. [img src=”http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-d3li4GzVvEk/TbckXAcf8qI/AAAAAAAABM4/bJkk7GpRYto/s600/yellon%2520complaint.jpg”]

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  20. GW:
    Holy Shit. Urk, MO, Cerulean, Perkins, Nate. I feel like I’ve wasted years sitting around at bloguin and decomposing with SK.

    Party like it’s 2008! Except without the early exit from the playoffs.

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  21. Between Greinke’s missing a start, and Kershaw’s mediocre performance today, Arrieta looks like the current CYA front-runner.

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  22. The Giants aren’t helping. Guess the Cubs will just have to clinch on Saturday.

    Also, Nats were eliminated. I’m sorry if that was said, but I don’t read every post.

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  23. Perkins: Party like it’s 2008! Except without the early exit from the playoffs.

    This year it should be much easier to achieve an early exit. No over-underachievement necessary!

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  24. cerulean: This year it should be much easier to achieve an early exit. No over-underachievement necessary!

    At least Maddon seems to have the team loose enough to avoid a repeat of the Entire Infield Commits Errors Behind Z Game.

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  25. berselius: At least Maddon seems to have the team loose enough to avoid a repeat of the Entire Infield Commits Errors Behind Z Game.

    My folks were at that game. What a nightmare.

    Though I wouldn’t put it past these Cubs to strike out 15+ times against Cole.

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  26. Pretty badass thread, jabronis.

    Not only did I get to laugh my ass off all over again, I even got a whiff of nostalgia for those OV days of yore. Well done.

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  27. (dying laughing) on the brink of clinching postseason and still can’t make a new thread. discreditation foreva!!!

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